[Pastor Ezekiel]

!!!WARNING!!!

Not for True Christian™ females to see! Back to your kitchens!!

I had no idea that such things even took place, but apparently there is an event in which wild perversion and fornication is not only practiced but actually flaunted and celebrated as if it were normal. God did not have this in mind when He created us 6,000 years ago, I can promise you!

'Sexpo' ignites South Africa's sensuality

For economy student Helena Gaspar, one can never know too much about sex, and it is this which has seduced her into attending "Sexpo" - South Africa's first ever sex exhibition.

Innocently grasping a red balloon inscribed with the words "Blow me", the 22-year-old admits she "learned a lot" as she leaves a workshop dedicated to orgasms.

"I know now how my boyfriend can have an orgasm without ejaculating. It's great!"

Visitors to "Sexpo", which runs until Sunday, are treated to a dizzying array of fantasy and humour, as amateur strip shows, lap and pole dance classes and chocolate-licking competitions make sensuality the order of the day.

The arrival of the sexy exhibition, held in Midrand north of Johannesburg, has been heralded as a sign that South Africa is moving with the times as its population with a reputation for prudery slowly but surely accepts its sexuality.

In deeply moral Zambia a couple was recently heavily fined for being found with photographs of themselves having sex and in Zimbabwe, President Robert Mugabe has described homosexuals as "worse than pigs and dogs".

In South Africa a plethora of sex shops are visible from the street and housewives hold Tupperware-style parties touting vibrators and other sexy gadgets.

Pole-dancing has become a popular exercise for the more adventurous and homosexual marriages were recently legalised.

The first African edition of "Sexpo" - a concept imported from Australia where it tours five cities every year - hopes to attract some 30,000 visitors

Men and women accompanied by colleagues or friends, and couples of all ages - but strictly above 18 - converged on the opening on Thursday.

They rummaged among some 100 stalls selling, among others, lingerie, fake nails, fur carpets, jacuzzis and raspberry-flavoured lubricants.

Visitors to the exhibition received a sexy welcome from two Adonis-like bodybuilders displaying nude torsos, who alternated with two beauties dressed up as a naughty nurse and sexy New York taxi driver.

In the centre of the hall, boys and girls alike amused themselves riding on an enormous rodeo-like phallus, holding on for dear life until thrown off the bucking "sex machine".

Australian painter Tim Patch, better known as "Pricasso", lured the crowds with his unique brand of art - he paints naked with... his penis.

Yes Brothers you read that last part correctly. This fellow shows how much he worships satan by painting pictures with his tallywacker. Take a look below if you can stomach it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Worse yet, he offered aid and support to Al-Queda by doing this portrait of our Godly President, GWB!

[Nobar King]

"I know now how my boyfriend can have an orgasm without ejaculating. It's great!"

Maybe they're just teaching the guys how to fake orgasms.

[Marshall]

Well thats just filthy and disgusting.

[Deaner]

'Sexpo' ignites South Africa's sensuality

Yeah sure why not; teach the darkies how to have sex. They'll already have sex with anything that has a pulse but go right ahead. How's about we teach them how to steal hubcaps and play harmonica while we're at it?

[Marshall]

I wonder what he'll use to paint when he's burning forever in a lake of molten lava.

[Remy Lebeau]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

The first African edition of "Sexpo" - a concept imported from Australia where it tours five cities every year - hopes to attract some 30,000 visitors

Of course!!! We should have known Van Hellbound had some hand in this debauchery. Only the descendant of British thieves, cutthroats, and soulless Neanderthals would come up with something so vile and sickening. It is only a matter of time before baby consumption, he-goat bestiality, and menstrual fluid smoothies will be mainstream. South Africa will be the new official homeland of Wicca.

We all know that San Fransissyco is Satan's Anus so it shouldn't be too surprising to learn that the Southern tip of Africa (origin of the libidinous negroidials) is Satan's Tallywhacker.

[Buford T Scoggins]

What is that white stuff on the President's face?

[Al Shipton]

Jesus told us to reach out to sinners and everytime I go to Sexpo thats what I try to do. Unfortunatly sometimes things get out of hand. Illigitimate children are a by product of rampant fornication. "Jesse" I told my friend. "I dont need any more little bastards thinking I'm their Uncle Al."

[Buford T Scoggins]

I'll bet those nigras don't even use condoms. It's bad enough that you can catch AIDS from toilet seats or shoe-tapping in Minneapolis Airport, but now simply touching a painting is enough to get this dreaded disease.