[St.Phony]

It all started when I got in a theological debate with friend of mine when he accused the Catholic Church of worshiping the papacy. Frequently my friend uses bits of misinterpreted scripture to base an entire set of ideals on. I prepared myself for the great debate I saw looming on the horizon by searching on google for "do Catholics worship the pope". What I found was a sermon given by Landover Baptist's Pastor Deacon Fred titled "Why do Catholics Worship Mary?" (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermo...catholics.html) What I read enraged and offended me. Pastor Deacon Fred spouted on about many untrue and falsely based opinions on my faith. I searched on your site and came across this forum, and I proceeded to read some of your more charming articles, such as the "False Religions Register" which, for no particular reason, seems to site every other faith's but Landover's as being a Satanic Cult. I began to try to argue against all fallacies in your understanding of mine and other's faiths, but then I came up with a better solution. I am going to ask all those on this forum to come to this thread and ask questions on their beliefs as to what my Church is truly about. I am coming into this discussion seeing you as equals, and hope you see me as such. I also expect serious replies only, as I am trying to clear up the confusion between our faiths. I end now with this statement: I like to see all fellow Christians as brothers and sisters, regardless of sect. I hope I can also extend this invitation of fellowship to you and your church.

Faith in Christ,

St.Plompy

[St.Phony]

Re: Sins of the Catholic Church

Sorry if I come across as argumentative, but some of the "facts" citing the Catholic Church's failings are based mostly on biased and overreaction. Before I start I will plea that all will keep an open mind to me and my beliefs. I am a man of reason, so if you can deliver a sound argument to my reasoning please do so. I also ask you to remember that no one is perfect except Jesus and God in heaven.

1- alleged drug pushing- For one, the advertisements for the cocaine laced wine were probably from the late 1800's to the early 1900's, when cocaine was seen as a cure all among the majority of the population, not just members of the clergy. Therefore the priests allegedly pushing drugs were more likely trying to benefit the community by increasing the standard of health. It may also be said that I have been receiving the Holy Eucharist for the entirety of my adult life and have never been seen to exhibit the symptoms- common or otherwise- of cocaine usage.
On a side note, Papal infallibility has only been used twice in the history of mankind, and it was only used to determine answers to very important questions.

2- pagan fish god worshiping- i have never in my life as a Catholic worshiped, desired to worship, or have seen others worship, a pagan fish god. The miter is a hat worn primarily by the upper levels of the clergy. Accusing Catholics of fish god worship would be akin to me accusing you of pastor worship. Landover does not worship their pastors, Catholics do not worship our priests, and certainly not the hats they wear.

3- 60,000 kitten death toll- I would like to start this one by saying that all catholics are not Italian. That being said I would also like to say that not all catholics are so superstitious. Nor has the Catholic Church condoned this superstition since the dark ages. An age when even Landover's ancestors were steeped in superstition. I end by saying that killing animals is not related to any rituals, practices or true beliefs of the Catholic Church.

4- Antichrist Worship- Really? Do I even have to deny this? Well considering the fact we worship JESUS as Christians, I would have to say this is untrue. And, unless someone can enlighten me as to otherwise, I see no resemblance of Pope Leo XIII's statement as Antichrist worship.

5- The Inverted Cross- This is simply a design to add a cross motif to a chair inhabited by a member of the clergy, I am absolutely 100% positive that it is a mistake. But let me address another key issue here: You worry about a CHAIR instead of trying to understand your fellow Christians. Smart.

6- Satanism-I believe (as do you, surly) that their is an antagonistic entity known as Satan, HOWEVER, I never have nor will worship him as God.

7- Torture- Considering that the acts cited in the "Antichrist Slideshow"(which you seem oddly fond off) are perpetrations of torture of ROMANS to EARLY CHRISTIANS, I am not offended by this one. Please read your resources before you use them. Thanks.

8- Tolerating other religions- If you see that as a misdeed, by all means we are guilty.

9- Sodomy- How come everyone brings this up? Just because one apple in the bushel is rotten, that does not mean you throw out the whole bushel.
I also read a thread concerning a homosexual man coming to terms with his spirituality and you said their were many ways to resist homosexual urges. Celebicy being one way to stop urges, could it be possible that they joined the priesthood to atone for their "sins"(I do not condone homosexuality nor do I condemn it I go for a live let live policy, which you might like to try). Some were bound to fail since no one is perfect(see top).

10- Idolatry- Simply artwork to add atmosphere. No one I know has ever worshiped a statue.

11- Abortion- Please read and tell me my stance on abortion.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

How DARE you question the most beloved True Christian™ Pastor in our congregation!? And how dare you barge into our Godly CHRISTIAN forum to lecture us about your mary worshiping false church. You papists are'nt even Christians! Did you know that!?

[St.Phony]

I am sorry I have insulted your Pastor. I meant no offense, only to state how offended I was. But please can we try to have an understanding for one another? I must admit many of your policies are alien to me. I seek to understand all people of all religions, so please give everyone a chance.

[Roberta]

Okay, Plomp, no mackerel snatcher has ever been able to give me the straight dope on the magic show. I have watched David Copperfield do it on TV with foccacia and a really good Margaux but I am still not convinced it's more than subterfuge. TV preachers make deaf people hear, too.

The celebrant turns his back to the crowd and takes some stuff out of a little house shaped thing. Then he says:

Qui pridie quam pateretur, accepit panem in sanctas ac venerabiles manus suas, et elevatis oculis in coelum ad te Deum Patrem suum omnipotentem tibi gratias agens, benedixit, fregit, diditque discipulis suis, dicens: Accipite,et manducate ex hoc omnes:

Supposedly, this actually transforms a little white disk into the body of Our Lord Jesus! And then he eats it! How is this any different than what Barack Obama's relatives in Kenya do when a white person strays into their midst and gets boiled in a pot.

It gets worse. The guy continues muttering:

Simili modo postquam coenatum est, accipiens et hunc praeclarum Calicem in sanctas ac venerabiles manus suas. item tibi gratias agens, benedixit, deditque discipulis suis, dicens. Accepite, et bibite ex eo omnes:

HIC EST ENIM CALIX SANGUINIS MEI, NOVI ET AETERNI TESTAMENTI:
MYSTERIUM FIDEI:
QUI PRO VOBIS ET PRO MULTIS EFFUNDETUR IN REMISSIONEM PECCATORUM.

Haec quotiescumque feceritis, in mei memoriam facietis.

And guess what? An ordinary glass of screw top Manischewitz becomes the blood of our Christ! Anyway, the celebrant drinks the blood just like a goth or Vlad the Impaler wannabe.

If you papes would just come out and say "This is symbolic, it's not like we really transubstantiate the little disk and the wine", I could accept it like goat slaughtering or any other religious ritual. But no, you even put the little disks in monster crosses and carry them around trying to ward off demons and other evil spirits.

We at LBC interpret the KJV literally as God intended. We are often maligned for this. If there were any Biblical foundation for this eucharisting stuff we would be on the bandwagon, too! It's the same sort of chicanery that the fake evangelists use when they slay you with the spirit and it obviously works. Look how much money the RC church has amassed!

If your priests can do this, why can't they do a loaves and fishes reenactment for Friday night bingo? Or better yet, do the wine thing that Jesus did at Cana? Because they can't--anymore than they can transubstantiate.

You know it is never too late to recant. Not even the Irish Jig basketball player Shakil O'Neal is infoulable. What a sad day it was when I had to take St. Christopher off my dashboard.

[St.Phony]

Thanks for your question. Though I've never seen Copperfield do it, I have some understanding of it. I must admit I have never questioned how the spirit of Jesus Christ comes to inhabit the host and wine. I do know we the reason why however: We believe that by bringing the spirit of Christ into our bodies we may heal the wounds to our soul caused by our sins. I will have a more specific answer as to exactly how Christ's spirit comes to inhabit the communion offering by next Sunday, after I have had time to ask my Priest. And for your information, mass is usually said in plain ordinary English nowadays, Latin stopped being the official language in 1965. Thanks again!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Well, it's a slow day, so I guess I'll try my hand at debating.

Originally Posted by St.Plompy

I also ask you to remember that no one is perfect except Jesus and God in heaven.

Your first heresy: Jesus "and" God are the same entity. By believing in God "and" Jesus, you are a member of the Arian heresy. I'll forgive your error, but back when the Catholic Church had more power, saying "God and Jesus" was all it took to get yourself killed. You might want to study the Arian Scism: about one million people were killed by it.

3- 60,000 kitten death toll- I would like to start this one by saying that all catholics are not Italian.

But all Italians are Catholics. At least, the ones that kill kittens are.

That being said I would also like to say that not all catholics are so superstitious. Nor has the Catholic Church condoned this superstition since the dark ages.

And just what was it that made the dark ages dark? Here's a hint: the Catholic Church was in power.

And just why is it that yesterdays official Catholic dogma becomes todays "superstition"? I guess that means that today's Catholic beliefs will be called "superstition" in the future?

An age when even Landover's ancestors were steeped in superstition.

And yet, it's not we who are killing kittens because we don't like the color of their fur: it's Catholics who are killing kittens because they don't like the color of their fur.

I end by saying that killing animals is not related to any rituals, practices or true beliefs of the Catholic Church.

Lol.

8- Tolerating other religions- If you see that as a misdeed

Do *I* see it as a mistdeed? That's hardly my decision to make. I will leave that decisions to GOD:

You must kill those who worship another god. Exodus 22:20
Kill any friends or family that worship a god that is different than your own. Deuteronomy 13:6-10
Kill all the inhabitants of any city where you find people that worship differently than you. Deuteronomy 13:12-16
Kill everyone who has religious views that are different than your own. Deuteronomy 17:2-7
Kill anyone who refuses to listen to a priest. Deuteronomy 17:12-13
Kill any false prophets. Deuteronomy 18:20
Any city that doesn’t receive the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. Mark 6:11
Jude reminds us that God destroys those who don’t believe in him. Jude 5
Whoever denies “that Jesus is the Christ” is a liar and an anti-Christ. 1 John 2:22
Christians are “of God;” everyone else is wicked. 1 John 5:19
The non-Christian is “a deceiver and an anti-Christ” 2 John 1:7
Anyone who doesn’t share Paul’s beliefs has “an evil heart.” Hebrews 3:12
Jews are members of “the synagogue of Satan.” Revelations 2:9, 3:9

Celebicy being one way to stop urges

What? I suppose the Catholic cure for hunger pangs is to go on a hunger strike? It would sure explain why so many Catholics around the work are starving.
That brings up my last point: if God listens to the prayers of Catholics, why are the majority of Catholics impoverished? From machete-massacred Catholic Rwandans, to Brazillian slum kids, the life of the typical Catholic is nasty, brutish, and short. Yet look what the Bible has to say:

In the house of a righteous man is much treasure - Proverbs 15:6

Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will punish them: the young men shall die by the sword; their sons and their daughters shall die by famine - Jeremiah 11:22

To keep on doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results: that is the definition of insanity. God does not hear the prayers of a Catholic.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by St.Poopy

I must admit I have never questioned how the spirit of Jesus Christ comes to inhabit the host and wine.

Of course not, you're a brainwashed cult member.

Clearly, your "priest" believes that it's because he has the power to COMMAND God to perform magic tricks and possess crackers and wine! Laughable.

Originally Posted by Plomp and Circumstance

I do know we the reason why however: We believe that by bringing the spirit of Christ into our bodies we may heal the wounds to our soul caused by our sins.

I see, so Jesus needs to be chewed up and swallowed to enter your physical body, because He can't find any other way in? Hey, here's an idea you Catlickers might want to try:

(If that won't work, try here.)

So, if you need to eat Jesus Krisps for Salvation, why confess your sins to some perverted voyeur who's spanking a very bad monkey in the other side of the glory hole confessional? Jesus already knows.

Originally Posted by Street of Dreams

I will have a more specific answer as to exactly how Christ's spirit comes to inhabit the communion offering by next Sunday, after I have had time to ask my Priest.

Will that be before or after he Plomps you?

Originally Posted by St. Nowhere

And for your information, mass is usually said in plain ordinary English nowadays, Latin stopped being the official language in 1965. Thanks again!

Not bad, considering it's been a dead language for over a thousand years. I see your cult really moves with the times.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by St.Plompy

T[...]I must admit I have never questioned how the spirit of Jesus Christ comes to inhabit the host and wine.

Don't tell the pope that, he'll excommunicate you, you are supposed to believe that the biscuit and the wine are ACTUALLY, really and truly the body and blood of Christ! It's supposed to be a miracle! (The only miracle is that anyone should believe it!)

Anyway, Look here
and when you have done that, ask yourself why it is that none of your Bishops are married:
1Tm:3:1: This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
1Tm:3:2: A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1Tm:3:3: Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
1Tm:3:4: One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
1Tm:3:5: (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
The real reason they deny the bible and don't marry is because of property rights - the apostate church of Rome worships Mammon.



And you ask your priest, how often the bishop tells him to get more funds in... not greedy of filthy lucre;

[St.Phony]

Listen I tried. I wanted to see if you people could have the decency to give someone a chance to educate. I'm truly sorry it had to end this way. If you want to prattle on in your little school girls club about how all religions are false, be my guest. Since you people have been so generous as to point out the "faults" of my faith, I am no going to take the liberty of pointing out yours.

1- You lead people AWAY from God by being so intolerant.

2- People seeking real religious advice come onto this forum and you so kindly give them false answers to serious questions

3- You quote the bible's inaccuracies as undeniable truth, distancing yourself from reason.

These are just a few of the main problems here. I could list on for days but quite frankly, I can no longer stand to be on your forums. A little advice though: take the smilie off the cross. I knew you guys were a bunch of satanists as soon as I saw that icon. The only Christian sect to put Jesus on the cross as a symbol is the Catholic Church. True Baptists would never use something like that. What you guys have done here is despicable, but I have faith you guys will end up where you belong. As for me this will be my last post, I will be praying for all those who end up on this site looking for salvation, but not being able to find it. Go ahead and make fun of me, what I don't know wont hurt me.

I end my toils.

Sincerely, St.Plompy

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by St.Phony

10- Idolatry- Simply artwork to add atmosphere. No one I know has ever worshiped a statue.

Friend,

Get real, just like you when I was a Catholic I knelt at statues, lit candles and prayed to the saint. How is that not idiol worship or a graven image?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by St.Phony

1- You lead people AWAY from God by being so intolerant.

How are we any more intolerant than Jesus wants us to be? Before you answer, please review this thread.

2- People seeking real religious advice come onto this forum and you so kindly give them false answers to serious questions

Such as?

3- You quote the bible's inaccuracies as undeniable truth, distancing yourself from reason.

The Bible contains no inaccuracies. If you Christians-lite don't believe the entire Bible, how do you pick and choose which parts to believe? If the entirety of Scripture isn't God's Word, who's to say that the parts that you like are?

A little advice though: take the smilie off the cross. I knew you guys were a bunch of satanists as soon as I saw that icon. The only Christian sect to put Jesus on the cross as a symbol is the Catholic Church.

So you admit that the Roman Catholic institution is satanist. That's a good start.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Well, I see Mount Plopmore has left the building.

Surprise, surprise. Catholics who appear at my church also spout off such defensive drivel once I start telling them how they turn their backs on the Bible.

His List of Flaws is quite telling:

1- You lead people AWAY from God by being so intolerant.

God does not tolerate those who do not follow Him, and commands us to do likewise. If you read the Bible, Plopmore, you'd know that.

2- People seeking real religious advice come onto this forum and you so kindly give them false answers to serious questions

Could you tell us where we've given any false answers? I've only been on this site a short while, but I've yet to see any True Christian™ give an answer I'd not give to someone appearing at my church.

3- You quote the bible's inaccuracies as undeniable truth, distancing yourself from reason.

Inaccuracies? You deny the Word of God?

What, then, is the point of your having a religion? You don't like football and want something to do Sunday mornings?!

Thank you for the dramatic exit. Are you, perhaps, a queen of some sort?

[Unfalsifiable]

How do you explain why the Catholics support Hitler, enabling him to wage a second world war? (by literally giving him the enabling act)

I am amazed why you don't think to yourself as your kissing rings and worshipping Mary, why were we on the Nazis side? Why did we support the Nazis? Why was Hitler Catholic? Germany is were protestantism was born, why were the CATHOLICS in Germany supporting one of the most evil dictators in history?

GOD is making it VERY CLEAR to you, that you are an evil cult.

[Roberta]

Originally Posted by St.Phony

Thanks for your question. Though I've never seen Copperfield do it, I have some understanding of it. I must admit I have never questioned how the spirit of Jesus Christ comes to inhabit the host and wine. I do know we the reason why however: We believe that by bringing the spirit of Christ into our bodies we may heal the wounds to our soul caused by our sins. I will have a more specific answer as to exactly how Christ's spirit comes to inhabit the communion offering by next Sunday, after I have had time to ask my Priest. And for your information, mass is usually said in plain ordinary English nowadays, Latin stopped being the official language in 1965. Thanks again!

So this means you will not be getting back to me on Sunday? Why did you bother to respond in the first place if you did not intend to follow through!

We have a number of RC converts within our membership. Sister Mary Maria was once married to Jesus (or so they told her). For those seeking Christian guidance, all answers can be found in the KJV 1611. Unlike the book you use, it does not contain misleading references to purgatory, magic and sinless perfection.

[Get Thee Hence!]

Originally Posted by Roberta

The celebrant turns his back to the crowd and takes some stuff out of a little house shaped thing. Then he says:

Qui pridie quam pateretur, accepit panem in sanctas ac venerabiles manus suas, et elevatis oculis in coelum ad te Deum Patrem suum omnipotentem tibi gratias agens, benedixit, fregit, diditque discipulis suis, dicens: Accipite,et manducate ex hoc omnes:

Every True Christian™ knows that Jesus dunked the bread in pig fat before offering it to his disciples.

Those papists and their Latin. After all these years, still trying to subvert the Truth of Jesus.

Let's pray that God sees fit to baste them in pig fat before their eternal roasting.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Get Thee Hence!

Every True Christian™ knows that Jesus dunked the bread in pig fat before offering it to his disciples.

Those papists and their Latin. After all these years, still trying to subvert the Truth of Jesus.

Let's pray that God sees fit to baste them in pig fat before their eternal roasting.

I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus has in mind for all the islamofascists that our Godly American Troops are dispatching to hell on a daily basis. After all, they're quite partial to pork.

Them and that damned Christ-killing joos.

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by St.Phony

It all started when I got in a theological debate with friend of mine when he accused the Catholic Church of worshiping the papacy. Frequently my friend uses bits of misinterpreted scripture to base an entire set of ideals on. I prepared myself for the great debate I saw looming on the horizon by searching on google for "do Catholics worship the pope". What I found was a sermon given by Landover Baptist's Pastor Deacon Fred titled "Why do Catholics Worship Mary?" (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/sermo...catholics.html) What I read enraged and offended me. Pastor Deacon Fred spouted on about many untrue and falsely based opinions on my faith. I searched on your site and came across this forum, and I proceeded to read some of your more charming articles, such as the "False Religions Register" which, for no particular reason, seems to site every other faith's but Landover's as being a Satanic Cult. I began to try to argue against all fallacies in your understanding of mine and other's faiths, but then I came up with a better solution. I am going to ask all those on this forum to come to this thread and ask questions on their beliefs as to what my Church is truly about. I am coming into this discussion seeing you as equals, and hope you see me as such. I also expect serious replies only, as I am trying to clear up the confusion between our faiths. I end now with this statement: I like to see all fellow Christians as brothers and sisters, regardless of sect. I hope I can also extend this invitation of fellowship to you and your church.

Faith in Christ,

St.Plompy

This is one of the most homersexual papist child buggering posts I've ever seen. This PAPIST is not understanding that the the ONLY way to JESUS and ETERNAL Salvation is through JESUS CHRIST. The only way to KNOW JESUS is through the Landover Baptist Chrurch and acceptance of Jesus Christ as your personal Savior via the unErring WORD OF GOD as found in the BIBLE, specfically the KJV 1611.

What utter nonsense ST. (SAINT? disgusting) Phony. Repent or Hell awaits you.

Yours in Christ

Brother Lazarus