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Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 05:24 AM
My Dad sics the dog on them and my grandmother sprays them with the bug spray and shouts, "I'm calling the cops on you polygamists perverts". I usually tell them that Joseph Smith is burning in Hell.
How do you deal with them when they come around spreading their lies? I know they are in town and I want to have a surprise ready for them. How do you dispatch those lying Mormon cultists and their propaganda?
Any suggestions?
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 06:27 AM
I just tell them I'm a Catholic, ask them if they'd like to come in and have a coffee-flavored beer and pray the rosary with me while dancing in their magic underwear. They don't come back.
This approach also works with Jehovah's Witlesses when you're out of buckshot.
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True Christian™
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 07:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4 Christ
Any suggestions?
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I’m just thinking out loud: as we all know moremonies (nomen est omen) are almost as greedy as joos, so…
Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.
... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 08:41 AM
This is what i normally do, i invite them in and ask them to sit down. I inform them that i will hear their words if they stay for mine, they ALWAYS agree. I will then inform them that I do not tolerate liars in my hose and if they have accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. They once again will say yes. After they are done telling me their perverted view of our lord I ask them if they really accepted Jesus they would not be Mormon because "if you have Jesus in your hart there is no room for Joseph, his 12 wives and Macaroni the magic angel", come on folks you know i am right. Then i tell them i will kick that magic underwear right off their rears if they don't get off my property or repent.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 11:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaiger
or repent.
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There is an introduction forum HERE
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 12:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I just tell them I'm a Catholic, ask them if they'd like to come in and have a coffee-flavored beer and pray the rosary with me while dancing in their magic underwear. They don't come back.
This approach also works with Jehovah's Witlesses when you're out of buckshot.
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That, Brother Enoch, makes me laugh! You could be one of the LORD's comedians in heaven.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
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Location: Tomahawk, WI
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 07:04 PM
Here's a Chick Tract that works, but there's not very many mormons around where I live.
Matthew 9:12-13
(12) But when Jesus heard [that], he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
(13) But go ye and learn what [that] meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
07-31-2011, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristin Marlow
Here's a Chick Tract that works, but there's not very many mormons around where I live.
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There are mormoons everywhere. Just look for the pair of zit-faced gay-looking boys with large square black plastic name tags on riding bikes up and down the street.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-01-2011, 09:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
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talk about brainwashing! It's not a million miles away from the modulated sound data used in enhanced interrogation! I was horrified! I could never be a mormon!
__________________________________________________
@ Kristin Marlow I'm sure I've seen that aunt hanging around outside a bondage parlour in Glasgow in the wee hours, and she was only thinking about it (becoming a mormon) — how sad.
But how wonderful is God!
NAHUM 3
3 The horseman lifteth vp both the bright sword, & the glittering speare, and there is a multitude of slaine, and a great number of carkeises: and there is none ende of their corpses: they stumble vpon their corpses,
4 Because of the multitude of the whoredomes of the wel-fauoured harlot, the mistresse of witchcrafts, that selleth nations through her whoredomes, and families through her witchcrafts.
©1611
Praise Him ! !
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Posts: 76
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Location: Seattle- hippie town USA
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-01-2011, 07:51 PM
Ugh, some of these guys came by yesterday and I told them that unless they're bringing me a package or come bearing pizzas to get off my property.
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-01-2011, 09:17 PM
Anyone who doesn't believe in the divinity of Jesus should be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.
What happens when that polygamist horde tries to invade Freehold?
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Ms. Sham Wow 2011
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Location: Defeated, TN
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-02-2011, 12:39 PM
well, i'll usually huck a few handfuls of used kitty litter at them mormons.
Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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Posts: 90
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-02-2011, 06:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humongous
well, i'll usually huck a few handfuls of used kitty litter at them mormons.
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You might want to get one of your cats a riled up and throw the cat in their face.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 1,653
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Location: Christville, Alabama
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-02-2011, 09:09 PM
We had a couple of them mormoons come by the house a few years ago.
I quoted them this scripture:
John
14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Then, I told them that Joseph Smith is a lying, and decieving anti-christ that is not the way, and I further informed them that they are going to HELL as a result of following false-techings.
2 Thessalonians
1:8 In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: 1:9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;
I also told that in the area where I live-deep in the back woods-we tend to think that mormoons are a buch of witches sent by the devil, and that we obey the KJV 1611 to the letter.
Exodus
22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Well, you can imagine their surprise when I asked them if they wanted to see the Bar-B-Que pit that my great, great, great, grand pappy built back in the good ol' days. They suddenly had somehwere to be and we have not seen them in our area in years.
Praise Jesus!
Psalm 50:22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
Deuteronomy32:35 To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
Jerimiah 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
Leviticus24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
Ephesians5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-03-2011, 12:53 PM
please do not play this again - performer is obviously mad
Quote:
gene .perturbations. produce cranial skeletal malformation
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NOTICE the words " gene" and " perturbations" which together confirm the involvement of Satan in the manufacture of these (i.e. Mormon) freaks.
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Ms. Sham Wow 2011
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Posts: 263
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Location: Defeated, TN
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-03-2011, 05:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4 Christ
You might want to get one of your cats a riled up and throw the cat in their face.
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I wouldn't want no Hellbound Mormond touchin my cats.
Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-26-2012, 03:02 AM
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Descended from Rapes
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Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-26-2012, 08:52 PM
All Mormons look alike because they are all related to Joseph Smith and the known pedophile Bring-em Young.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Dealing With Door to Door Mormons -
08-26-2012, 09:12 PM
And Mormons corrupt the English language.
"Mormons will are the real Christians"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
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Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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