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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-02-2010, 05:21 PM
Friends,an ugly incident occurred this morning in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I signed in, took a seat, and crossed my leg. To my horror, a young woman sitting across from me leered at my sock garter.
While I pulled at my pant leg to cover the garter, I could feel the young lady's eyes lustfully staring at my well-toned calf, which was accentuated by a form-fitting dress sock.
"Are you done eyeballing me, harlot?" I screamed at the woman. Her shame was so great that she immediately gathered her belongings and made a hasty exit. She later probably gratified herself to the mental snapshot she had taken of my shapely leg.
For men, sock garters are simply a means of comfort and support. For women, who are licentious by nature, they incite uncontrollable sexual urges.
Men, be mindful when crossing your legs or shifting positions in public. Nearby women are just waiting to catch a glimpse of your bare flesh and intimate underthings.
I was lucky. I wasn't raped. You might not be so lucky.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Sock Garters -
01-02-2010, 06:09 PM
I am so glad you came away unscathed Brother Hatchet.
What is becoming of this world when an honest Godly elderly like yourself can't get his monthly prostate examination without some harlot wanting to JUMP you.
Only a few years ago (well, quite a few), some hussy was lusting after my bike trouser bands!
Can't you sue her for your distress? That's sexual harrassment, isn't it?
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Sock Garters -
01-02-2010, 07:42 PM
Fortunately for me, I often wear high boots and long trousers so the risk of exposing my under garments is low. I rarely wear those fancy types of shoes unless I am stepping out in my tux. Brother Hatchet, had you plucked her eyes out, I am sure God would of approved.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Sock Garters -
01-02-2010, 10:37 PM
I have to admit I've never used sock garters. I tend to buy socks that go all the way up to the knee and they usually don't have a problem with sagging. Plus, they are sufficiently modest if it's warm out and I decide to wear shorts.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Posts: 23,743
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Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Sock Garters -
01-02-2010, 10:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
Only a few years ago (well, quite a few), some hussy was lusting after my bike trouser bands!
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Please excuse my poor eyesight, but the image of yourself you posted doesn't show trouser bands; what I see is your argyle sock rolled up over the pant leg. This is a good technique, but will cause the elastic in the socks to loosen over time. With nice white loafers like that you certainly don't want to be using toe clips, no matter how convenient they are.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Sock Garters -
01-03-2010, 12:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Please excuse my poor eyesight, but the image of yourself you posted doesn't show trouser bands; what I see is your argyle sock rolled up over the pant leg. This is a good technique, but will cause the elastic in the socks to loosen over time. With nice white loafers like that you certainly don't want to be using toe clips, no matter how convenient they are.
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Brother Nobar, nothing wrong with your eyesight, but with my memory. Apologies.
This picture was taken by my ex-wife (who's gulping sulfur as we speak) many many moons ago.
I think she forgot to bring my trouser bands that day, forcing me to dress this way in order to avoid me becoming one with my bike.
I still hate her for that TOO. Oh well, at least she learned that day that taking a picture of a moving bike is not without its dangers.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-03-2010, 01:16 AM
I can't tell you how useful these are...
However, beware of causing garter envy... peopel always want to know whose are bigger and better...
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AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
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Location: In the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-03-2010, 03:52 AM
Brother Hatchet, I am surprised you didn't cane that wench.
Jesus loves Dick
Cheney/Palin 2012
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-10-2010, 02:28 AM
I am thankful that you weren't raped, but I think you should have been more careful.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-10-2010, 02:34 AM
You were not almost raped! And women do not looks at a mans calf and find it atractive she was probably looking at it as not many men nower days were garters for socks. And you shouting that probably made her feel embarrased! How vain of you! You blatently do not understand women and what causes arousel because it certianly is not calfs and garters.
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WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-10-2010, 02:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfrogger
I am thankful that you weren't raped, but I think you should have been more careful.
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Very true: even though it was purely accidental, it was apparently confusing to the young lady. Fortunately, God realized it was not your intention and saved you from immoral contamination.
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-10-2010, 02:49 AM
I feel for you sir, these 'ladies' seem to be on heat most of the time. But i have to pose the question of your own potentially dubious choice of attire. To show flesh at all is just asking for fags to store mental images for potential flagellation at a later point, or, God forbid, if these undisciplined cretins have the chance, you might find yourself having to draw your weapon. As satisfying as it might be to dispatch more devil-fodder southwards, the whole affair is a royal pain in the ass. If you forgive the pun. May I suggest that you get yourself a union suit to save future worries?
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Unsaved Trash, hatemonger
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-11-2010, 06:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Friends,an ugly incident occurred this morning in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I signed in, took a seat, and crossed my leg. To my horror, a young woman sitting across from me leered at my sock garter.
While I pulled at my pant leg to cover the garter, I could feel the young lady's eyes lustfully staring at my well-toned calf, which was accentuated by a form-fitting dress sock.
"Are you done eyeballing me, harlot?" I screamed at the woman. Her shame was so great that she immediately gathered her belongings and made a hasty exit. She later probably gratified herself to the mental snapshot she had taken of my shapely leg.
For men, sock garters are simply a means of comfort and support. For women, who are licentious by nature, they incite uncontrollable sexual urges.
Men, be mindful when crossing your legs or shifting positions in public. Nearby women are just waiting to catch a glimpse of your bare flesh and intimate underthings.
I was lucky. I wasn't raped. You might not be so lucky.
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You sure like to bite the hand that feeds!
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Unsaved trash, Foreign fool
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-11-2010, 07:00 AM
I am particularly well endowed and often times, my stuffing tends to protrude down the leg of my trousers. It's simply not something I can avoid because of my ample size.
As you can imagine, this becomes an issue at nearly every mixed sex outing, because the fair women simply cannot contain their eyes. I have had more than one confrontation about this with the opposite sex and as a result, I took it upon myself to use a roll of packing tape to secure my stove pipe. It's made a world of difference, although the removal isn't always a joy!
But to spare myself from situations not dissimilar to Brother Hatchet, the pain is a small price to pay.
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Unsaved trash, Foreign hatemonger
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-12-2010, 08:06 PM
how is it possible a man gets raped by a woman?
Genesis3:22 Then the LORD God said, "Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever!"
Timothy2:12 I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-12-2010, 09:24 PM
I blame the liberal media for their disgusting and lascivious programming. What woman wouldn't turn into a violent rapist when hunks like Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez, Anderson Cooper, Billy Bush and Vin Diesel are on the television 14 to 16 hours a day.
Disgusting.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-13-2010, 04:49 AM
i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
but if you do get raped, all because a women had looked at your garters, please let me know..and ill ask her WHY!?
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-14-2010, 09:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by psalmsunday
i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
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Which means thou art is not permitted to speak out your blasphemy. That being said, your words cannot deceive us, you say that you have not found attraction from our sock garters, but it is the lure of sin that makes you want something taboo... it is proven as you cannot control even the simplest of urges, your urge to post even when you're not allowed to.
You'll also be so low as lie about what you truly feel when you catch a glimpse of our flesh and sock garters.
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WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-14-2010, 10:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by psalmsunday
i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
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That's because you are desensitized. This happens in an environment where young girls are encouraged by Britney Spears to dress up like sluts.
I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen
Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Re: I Was Almost Raped Today -
01-14-2010, 07:20 PM
You should have been more careful about showing bare flesh then, you were asking for it and would probably have enjoyed the rape if it came.
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