Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page I Was Almost Raped Today
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Old Man Hatchet's Avatar
Old Man Hatchet Old Man Hatchet is offline
Super Moderator
Beloved Church Elder
World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Christian Love True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Gold Tither 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '09 Heaven Bound Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Babysitter Hands Off

 
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-02-2010, 05:21 PM

Friends,an ugly incident occurred this morning in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I signed in, took a seat, and crossed my leg. To my horror, a young woman sitting across from me leered at my sock garter.



While I pulled at my pant leg to cover the garter, I could feel the young lady's eyes lustfully staring at my well-toned calf, which was accentuated by a form-fitting dress sock.

"Are you done eyeballing me, harlot?" I screamed at the woman. Her shame was so great that she immediately gathered her belongings and made a hasty exit. She later probably gratified herself to the mental snapshot she had taken of my shapely leg.

For men, sock garters are simply a means of comfort and support. For women, who are licentious by nature, they incite uncontrollable sexual urges.



Men, be mindful when crossing your legs or shifting positions in public. Nearby women are just waiting to catch a glimpse of your bare flesh and intimate underthings.



I was lucky. I wasn't raped. You might not be so lucky.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sock Garters - 01-02-2010, 06:09 PM

I am so glad you came away unscathed Brother Hatchet.

What is becoming of this world when an honest Godly elderly like yourself can't get his monthly prostate examination without some harlot wanting to JUMP you.

Only a few years ago (well, quite a few), some hussy was lusting after my bike trouser bands!



Can't you sue her for your distress? That's sexual harrassment, isn't it?


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sock Garters - 01-02-2010, 07:42 PM

Fortunately for me, I often wear high boots and long trousers so the risk of exposing my under garments is low. I rarely wear those fancy types of shoes unless I am stepping out in my tux. Brother Hatchet, had you plucked her eyes out, I am sure God would of approved.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sock Garters - 01-02-2010, 10:37 PM

I have to admit I've never used sock garters. I tend to buy socks that go all the way up to the knee and they usually don't have a problem with sagging. Plus, they are sufficiently modest if it's warm out and I decide to wear shorts.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sock Garters - 01-02-2010, 10:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Only a few years ago (well, quite a few), some hussy was lusting after my bike trouser bands!


Please excuse my poor eyesight, but the image of yourself you posted doesn't show trouser bands; what I see is your argyle sock rolled up over the pant leg. This is a good technique, but will cause the elastic in the socks to loosen over time. With nice white loafers like that you certainly don't want to be using toe clips, no matter how convenient they are.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sock Garters - 01-03-2010, 12:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Please excuse my poor eyesight, but the image of yourself you posted doesn't show trouser bands; what I see is your argyle sock rolled up over the pant leg. This is a good technique, but will cause the elastic in the socks to loosen over time. With nice white loafers like that you certainly don't want to be using toe clips, no matter how convenient they are.
Brother Nobar, nothing wrong with your eyesight, but with my memory. Apologies.

This picture was taken by my ex-wife (who's gulping sulfur as we speak) many many moons ago.

I think she forgot to bring my trouser bands that day, forcing me to dress this way in order to avoid me becoming one with my bike.

I still hate her for that TOO. Oh well, at least she learned that day that taking a picture of a moving bike is not without its dangers.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-03-2010, 01:16 AM

I can't tell you how useful these are...

Name:  Garters.jpg
Views: 1546
Size:  24.3 KB

However, beware of causing garter envy... peopel always want to know whose are bigger and better...

Name:  Garter2.jpg
Views: 1552
Size:  57.4 KB


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
TC Patriot's Avatar
TC Patriot TC Patriot is offline
AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Bronze Tither Christian Love Heaven Bound Gunfest '09 Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator The Lord’s Witness Wound One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth

 
Posts: 1,059
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-03-2010, 03:52 AM

Brother Hatchet, I am surprised you didn't cane that wench.



Jesus loves Dick



Cheney/Palin 2012
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
darkfrogger darkfrogger is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 11
Join Date: Jan 2010
darkfrogger is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-10-2010, 02:28 AM

I am thankful that you weren't raped, but I think you should have been more careful.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
jennifer-Jane's Avatar
jennifer-Jane jennifer-Jane is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 47
Join Date: Jan 2010
jennifer-Jane is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-10-2010, 02:34 AM

You were not almost raped! And women do not looks at a mans calf and find it atractive she was probably looking at it as not many men nower days were garters for socks. And you shouting that probably made her feel embarrased! How vain of you! You blatently do not understand women and what causes arousel because it certianly is not calfs and garters.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
GOD=life's Avatar
GOD=life GOD=life is offline
WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Silver Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking 2nd Year Bible College TC Bravery True Scientist™ One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 3,261
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: God's Favorite Country
GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-10-2010, 02:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkfrogger View Post
I am thankful that you weren't raped, but I think you should have been more careful.
Very true: even though it was purely accidental, it was apparently confusing to the young lady. Fortunately, God realized it was not your intention and saved you from immoral contamination.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
mark lewis mark lewis is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 37
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: london
mark lewis is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.mark lewis is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-10-2010, 02:49 AM

I feel for you sir, these 'ladies' seem to be on heat most of the time. But i have to pose the question of your own potentially dubious choice of attire. To show flesh at all is just asking for fags to store mental images for potential flagellation at a later point, or, God forbid, if these undisciplined cretins have the chance, you might find yourself having to draw your weapon. As satisfying as it might be to dispatch more devil-fodder southwards, the whole affair is a royal pain in the ass. If you forgive the pun. May I suggest that you get yourself a union suit to save future worries?
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Simon Tam Simon Tam is offline
Unsaved Trash, hatemonger
 
Posts: 25
Join Date: Jan 2010
Simon Tam is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-11-2010, 06:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Friends,an ugly incident occurred this morning in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I signed in, took a seat, and crossed my leg. To my horror, a young woman sitting across from me leered at my sock garter.



While I pulled at my pant leg to cover the garter, I could feel the young lady's eyes lustfully staring at my well-toned calf, which was accentuated by a form-fitting dress sock.

"Are you done eyeballing me, harlot?" I screamed at the woman. Her shame was so great that she immediately gathered her belongings and made a hasty exit. She later probably gratified herself to the mental snapshot she had taken of my shapely leg.

For men, sock garters are simply a means of comfort and support. For women, who are licentious by nature, they incite uncontrollable sexual urges.



Men, be mindful when crossing your legs or shifting positions in public. Nearby women are just waiting to catch a glimpse of your bare flesh and intimate underthings.



I was lucky. I wasn't raped. You might not be so lucky.
You sure like to bite the hand that feeds!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Sir Oral Essex III Sir Oral Essex III is offline
Unsaved trash, Foreign fool
 
Posts: 44
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On My Knees
Sir Oral Essex III is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Sir Oral Essex III is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-11-2010, 07:00 AM

I am particularly well endowed and often times, my stuffing tends to protrude down the leg of my trousers. It's simply not something I can avoid because of my ample size.

As you can imagine, this becomes an issue at nearly every mixed sex outing, because the fair women simply cannot contain their eyes. I have had more than one confrontation about this with the opposite sex and as a result, I took it upon myself to use a roll of packing tape to secure my stove pipe. It's made a world of difference, although the removal isn't always a joy!

But to spare myself from situations not dissimilar to Brother Hatchet, the pain is a small price to pay.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Alsnoy's Avatar
Alsnoy Alsnoy is offline
Unsaved trash, Foreign hatemonger
 
 
Posts: 44
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: paradise
Alsnoy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Alsnoy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Alsnoy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Alsnoy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Alsnoy is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-12-2010, 08:06 PM

how is it possible a man gets raped by a woman?


Genesis3:22 Then the LORD God said, "Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever!"
Timothy2:12 I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
H. Montague Worthington's Avatar
H. Montague Worthington H. Montague Worthington is offline
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Christian Love True Christian™ Platinum Tither Real American™ Ribfest '05 True Heterosexual™ Long service medal, 1st class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once TC Bravery Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-12-2010, 09:24 PM

I blame the liberal media for their disgusting and lascivious programming. What woman wouldn't turn into a violent rapist when hunks like Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez, Anderson Cooper, Billy Bush and Vin Diesel are on the television 14 to 16 hours a day.

Disgusting.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
psalmsunday's Avatar
psalmsunday psalmsunday is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2010
psalmsunday is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-13-2010, 04:49 AM

i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
but if you do get raped, all because a women had looked at your garters, please let me know..and ill ask her WHY!?
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Alonsus Faox's Avatar
Alonsus Faox Alonsus Faox is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 10
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Seattle, Washington
Alonsus Faox is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-14-2010, 09:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by psalmsunday View Post
i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
Which means thou art is not permitted to speak out your blasphemy. That being said, your words cannot deceive us, you say that you have not found attraction from our sock garters, but it is the lure of sin that makes you want something taboo... it is proven as you cannot control even the simplest of urges, your urge to post even when you're not allowed to.

You'll also be so low as lie about what you truly feel when you catch a glimpse of our flesh and sock garters.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
GOD=life's Avatar
GOD=life GOD=life is offline
WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Silver Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking 2nd Year Bible College TC Bravery True Scientist™ One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 3,261
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: God's Favorite Country
GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.GOD=life is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-14-2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by psalmsunday View Post
i myself am a women and i do not find sock garters all to...attractive..
That's because you are desensitized. This happens in an environment where young girls are encouraged by Britney Spears to dress up like sluts.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Walter Bishop Walter Bishop is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 19
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: England.
Walter Bishop is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Walter Bishop is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Walter Bishop is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: I Was Almost Raped Today - 01-14-2010, 07:20 PM

You should have been more careful about showing bare flesh then, you were asking for it and would probably have enjoyed the rape if it came.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved