The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-26-2012, 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
As many of you know, I am a former Jew. If I can make it to SausageFest this year, I intent to tread you all to my DELICIOUS kosher dog!
It's always nice to sample things from other cultures, wouldn't you say?
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Sure is, is that kosher dog the one without skin? (Since kosher food does not include pigs intestines?) Sorry if I'm prying too much in your recipes.
II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-26-2012, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordiPordi
This sounds like a giant male orgy..... Is this where all of your repressed homosexual tendencies are going? Into eating "sausage"? It's okay, you can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone else.
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GeorgyPorgy, knows your depravity no bounds?
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordiPordi
Besides, the good Brits all play in Sherlock and Doctor Who.
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Robert Downey, Jr. is a Brithead now? And Jude Law?
When did that happen?
Or are you going on about Rasil Bathbone?
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordiPordi
You both really make me want to laugh at your ignorance.
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Because thinking Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law are Brits shows us what a vast repository of salior semen knowledge you are.
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Sorry to rain on your parade, but you're both hideous, have a nice day.
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Typical shallow, superficial response of the vain "queen". You ignore their inner beauty, the love of Jesus shining through, because you hate Jesus.
Getting back to the subject:
Sister Mary was concerned about what all goes on. Well, we drink beer and sample one another's sausages until the wee hours of the morning, what else?
Usually, we break out a game of Bible Blitz.
Oh, and my apologies for the somewhat sticky game cards, Sister. Jack spilled his beer on them, I think.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-26-2012, 08:43 PM
I can gag and choke on my own sausage all day. I have scarcely left the house over the past week!
Make sure to bring some ointment, everybody. Your ass might not be able to handle it.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-26-2012, 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I can gag and choke on my own sausage all day. I have scarcely left the house over the past week!
Make sure to bring some ointment, everybody. Your ass might not be able to handle it.
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I hope Professor Gossamer will bring some of his sweet sausage. It always cools the palate so nicely.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-26-2012, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBC loving Dutchmen
Sure is, is that kosher dog the one without skin? (Since kosher food does not include pigs intestines?) Sorry if I'm prying too much in your recipes.
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Believe it or not, mine actually does come with a nice, fleshy sheath of pork skin. Mother was never a very observant Jew, you see.
WARNING:
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-27-2012, 01:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Believe it or not, mine actually does come with a nice, fleshy sheath of pork skin. Mother was never a very observant Jew, you see.
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Um, then it's not a Kosher dog, dawg . . .
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-27-2012, 03:19 AM
I'll be here to clean up the mess, as usual.
No kielbasa this year again.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-27-2012, 07:44 AM
Praise Jesus, that catlics can keep there sausages
II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-27-2012, 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'll be here to clean up the mess, as usual.
No kielbasa this year again.
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Why not? I thought you got your kitchen staff difficulties sorted out, and gotten past the problem of those limp, mushy sausages.
We haven't tasted Zeke's Famous Bite-Sized Kielbasa since SausageFest 2009.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 01:15 AM
Bite sized? I hadn't heard about Zeke offering anything other than a foot-long?
Is this something his houseboy will be serving?
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True Christian™
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Location: Snuggled up by my AR-15
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 01:34 AM
This thread has me salivating for some juicy sausage right now! I admit to loving British sausage more than any other. Especially when it's delivered with that exotic British accent. Brits make the ultimate bangers!!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 01:55 AM
I sure hope somebody will be serving some delicious African sausage!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 227
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Snuggled up by my AR-15
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 02:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
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I admire your adventurousness Brother Faith, but I just don't have the courage to gorge myself on African sausage. I understand they can be rough on your insides.
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 02:30 AM
Ok, you remember the bean-bag toss...
I've got a new idea. What we do is we grab random darkies or mo-mo's and try to throw them thru the windows of moving cars. We can have different points for different hits.
For example, highest points would be for a straight hit thru a closed window causing the window to break and the driver to lose control.
Then we could have another set of lower points for, I dunno, why don't we call it a "bounce".
That's where you don't break the window or even hit it; but you do hit the car and cause the queer to bounce down the road to the roar of the crowd.
Whatcha' think?
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 02:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destiny's Blunder
This thread has me salivating for some juicy sausage right now! I admit to loving British sausage more than any other. Especially when it's delivered with that exotic British accent. Brits make the ultimate bangers!!
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I once also longed for the sausage of the Englishman. But I have traveled through that filthy wasteland known as Heathrow International Airport in the vile city of London and my appetite was immediately suppressed, if not forever compromised.
Trust me, you do not want anything made in that cesspool.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-28-2012, 03:10 AM
I've heard about Englishmen and their sausages. Unfortunately I've heard they're pale and wrinkled and there is an incessant and never ending smell of booze coming off their bodies.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
07-29-2012, 10:35 PM
Great news, folks! Widow Helen is going to be coming with me to SausageFest this year, and she'll be bringing her extra-tart sauerkraut. Everyone at Second Baptist loves to get my bratwurst in her sauerkraut!
They say it's the most mouth-watering combination they've ever tasted.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
08-01-2012, 11:34 PM
I'm arriving on the 10th, in the late afternoon, so will have plenty of time before the main event on Saturday evening!
Who wants to meet up for dinner Friday night, or drinks, or brunch on Saturday?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
08-02-2012, 12:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I'm arriving on the 10th, in the late afternoon, so will have plenty of time before the main event on Saturday evening!
Who wants to meet up for dinner Friday night, or drinks, or brunch on Saturday?
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Sounds cool. Why don't we punch out some skinhead soccer hooligans just to get warmed up?
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: Is SausageFest '12 on? -
08-02-2012, 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Sounds cool. Why don't we punch out some skinhead soccer hooligans just to get warmed up?
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You do know how to party, Brother!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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