[Little Timmy Martin]

Hi peoples.

My Mom told me I may be able to find my real dad here.

My real dad is either Officer Martin or his brother Father Martin (Mom doesn't know for sure which one yet til blood test or a swab or something like that are taken.

Have any of you good folks seen them lately?

Do they ever talk about me?

Any help you can give me is gunna be really appreciated.

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Little Timmy Martin

Hi peoples.

My Mom told me I may be able to find my real dad here.

My real dad is either Officer Martin or his brother Father Martin (Mom doesn't know for sure which one yet til blood test or a swab or something like that are taken.

Have any of you good folks seen them lately?

Do they ever talk about me?

Any help you can give me is gunna be really appreciated.

Hi, Timmy! We're looking for the Martins, too!

You see, they took our good friend Sister Mary Maria with them on a little trip. We're afraid that they want to make another bastard baby with her, like they did with your whore mother. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?

So, if you should find them, we'd really love it if you'd tell us where they are. In fact, if you help us locate them, we'll put them in a place where you can visit them whenever you like, for many years to come! Doesn't that sound good?

[Nobar King]

It's good that you showed up. We could use a blood sample from you to use as evidence in case there is a conclusion to this mystery. A hair sample would be good to use as additional evidence.

[SUV]

Aw, lookit little Timmy and how bravely he tries to Smile......

Timmy you might want to check with The Village People. I heard they were looking for a new policeMan - he might have 'enlisted' there

[Grace]

Hey four-eyes!
You wanna come over my place to play?
I got all kinds of ropes and chains and other cool stuff.
Mama says t's ok to play with boys as long as I go gentle.

I know where she keeps the keys to the gun cabinet. We can go look for your dad

[Peter McKain]

I have a clever idea. Take a gun and use it to kill yourself. I'm sure you'll meet your dad in hell

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Originally Posted by Little Timmy Martin

Hi peoples.

My Mom told me I may be able to find my real dad here.

My real dad is either Officer Martin or his brother Father Martin (Mom doesn't know for sure which one yet til blood test or a swab or something like that are taken.

Have any of you good folks seen them lately?

Do they ever talk about me?

Any help you can give me is gunna be really appreciated.

You're not my kid (Certainly not my brother's either!)

You look nothing like either of us! But take off the glasses and the false teeth, and you bear a striking resemblance to Pastor Zeke or Brother Temperance...

[Fallen Angel]

u shouldnt b mean. i hope u find ur real dad whoever he is timy coz i think it sux if u dun kno him n i hope he exepts u.

[Justina Thyme]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

You're not my kid (Certainly not my brother's either!)

You look nothing like either of us! But take off the glasses and the false teeth, and you bear a striking resemblance to Pastor Zeke or Brother Temperance...

Or Erkel...

But those cannot possibly be false teeth. Any dentist who did that quality of work should be euthanized immediately.

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Originally Posted by Justina Thyme

Or Erkel...

But those cannot possibly be false teeth. Any dentist who did that quality of work should be euthanized immediately.

You support euthanasia? Then you are NOT Christian!

[Sister Noddy]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

You're not my kid (Certainly not my brother's either!)

You look nothing like either of us! But take off the glasses and the false teeth, and you bear a striking resemblance to Pastor Zeke or Brother Temperance ...

Oh yeah he is too your brother's, Officer, he's a dead ringer for him minus forty years, the dress, and the double chins!

[Remy Lebeau]

Originally Posted by Little Timmy Martin

Hi peoples.

My Mom told me I may be able to find my real dad here.

My real dad is either Officer Martin or his brother Father Martin (Mom doesn't know for sure which one yet til blood test or a swab or something like that are taken.

Have any of you good folks seen them lately?

Do they ever talk about me?

Any help you can give me is gunna be really appreciated.

Unless young altar boys can become pregnant I seriously doubt the professional pedophile priest Martin is your father. And the other walmart security officer is just as much a godless lieberal homer as the other. Seeing how old the two farts are I'd have to assume that your mother was knocked up when she was five. So the question is: Does your harlot of a mother sport a buzz cut, wear plaid, doesn't shave, and looked like a boy in her youth?

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Turn to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, Timothy!

Tim: Never! You killed my father!

No, Timmy, I did not kill your father; I turned him into Hitoshi!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[ForGodsSake]

Hey Timmy, look up and you will see your paedophile father. That bald headed gits post above this one .....

[Justina Thyme]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

You support euthanasia? Then you are NOT Christian!

Have you never heard of the expression, "figure of speech"? It's similar to when we take communion here at Landover Baptist Church: the bread and wine are, figuratively speaking, the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is not literal, nor is it meant to be.

Ah, but I forget whom I'm addressing...

[Little Timmy Martin]

Originally Posted by Little Miss Talitha

Hey four-eyes!
You wanna come over my place to play?
I got all kinds of ropes and chains and other cool stuff.
Mama says t's ok to play with boys as long as I go gentle.

I know where she keeps the keys to the gun cabinet. We can go look for your dad

Really? you want to play with ME?

I could sure use some fun, it would really cheer me up.

Are you really gunna help me find my Dad?

[Little Timmy Martin]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

Turn to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, Timothy!

Tim: Never! You killed my father!

No, Timmy, I did not kill your father; I turned him into Hitoshi!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Huh? You KILLED Uncle Tom?

DAD! What did you do that for? Now you are gunna go to jail and I'll have NO Dads!

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Originally Posted by Little Timmy Martin

Huh? You KILLED Uncle Tom?

DAD! What did you do that for? Now you are gunna go to jail and I'll have NO Dads!

Okay, I'll ask you three questions only my real son would know!

1. What is my favorite major league baseball team?
2. In what year did I first join the police force?
3. We actually moved to Des Moines when we heard of LBC. What city are we originally from?

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin

Okay, I'll ask you three questions only my real son would know!

1. What is my favorite major league baseball team?
2. In what year did I first join the police force?
3. We actually moved to Des Moines when we heard of LBC. What city are we originally from?

How can a kid who's never met you to know those things?

[Offcr. Albert Martin]

Originally Posted by Undecided

How can a kid who's never met you to know those things?

If he's never met me, how would he know I'm his dad?