Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
11-15-2006, 01:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
For the last time, he is NOT in prison!
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Yes, you already said that and we believe you. Will he be eligible for parole soon?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
11-15-2006, 01:14 AM
He is just gone, not in prison.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
11-15-2006, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
He is just gone, not in prison.
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That's unfortunate, but understandable. If I were the only man in a house full of you, your five sisters, your mother, and three of your female cousins, I would be tempted to resign my duties and scarper too. Do you know how far he's gone and whether he might ever return?
Ten woman alone in a house without male supervision of some sort is not right. Imagine the sort of lewdness and wickedness that would soon become rife. You really should take Pastor Al's suggestion and try to sell a few of them off to good husbands. With so many sisters and cousins no one is going to miss the odd one anyway.
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
11-15-2006, 04:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus
That's unfortunate, but understandable. If I were the only man in a house full of you, your five sisters, your mother, and three of your female cousins, I would be tempted to resign my duties and scarper too. Do you know how far he's gone and whether he might ever return?
Ten woman alone in a house without male supervision of some sort is not right. Imagine the sort of lewdness and wickedness that would soon become rife. You really should take Pastor Al's suggestion and try to sell a few of them off to good husbands. With so many sisters and cousins no one is going to miss the odd one anyway.
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That Yemeni Sheik is still interested. Let me know Icky, he won't wait forever.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Liberal Hate Monger
Forum Member
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Posts: 363
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: London
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 09:45 AM
BDSM BDSM!!!!!!!!
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 10:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Dameon_Alucard
BDSM BDSM!!!!!!!!
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an you saids my english were no goods. i not able to makes head nor tails what you tryin to spells an i prays that you have someone in your life who gonna hogtie you an spanky-spanks some sense into you!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 01:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_Alucard
BDSM BDSM!!!!!!!!
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Boy, I don't know what demonic code you are spewing here, but I can promise you that Jesus knows, and He doesn't appreciate it one bit.
Why not start studying the Holy Bible and praising Jesus on your knees?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Liberal Hate Monger
Forum Member
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Posts: 363
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: London
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 03:03 PM
BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. It's a sexual practice love.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 03:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
an you saids my english were no goods. i not able to makes head nor tails what you tryin to spells an i prays that you have someone in your life who gonna hogtie you an spanky-spanks some sense into you!
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Precious Petal, please don't pay attention to Daemoon's naughty acronyms. I happen to know that Dimnmean got a bad letter from Santa and he's probably still pouting. But for future reference, let's just assume BDSM means damean is a BaDSuMbitch. KIND N GENTLE MOTHER GLYNNDIE
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 03:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_Alucard
BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. It's a sexual practice love.
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We don't really want to know if you love it or not.
Jesus hates it, and everyone who practises it. (limp-wristed homers)
A real man doesn't need to dominate his women in some perverted game anyways, he ownes them for real.
Because in case you didn't know, you women are property, God tells us so in the holy Bible.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Liberal Hate Monger
Forum Member
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Posts: 363
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: London
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
12-14-2006, 04:02 PM
Awww, shucks I so wanted presents this year. Guess I should be used ot never getting any presents, being such a bad boy and all.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 32
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
01-15-2007, 04:56 AM
My pastor rapes the local girls. But we let it slide, because god tells him to.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
01-15-2007, 05:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zigzagdance
My pastor rapes the local girls. But we let it slide, because god tells him to.
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Son, you are obviously confusing us with those child-rapist catlickers. We are True Christians, not skirt-wearing mary-worshipers.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Sex Before 30? -
01-15-2007, 05:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zigzagdance
My pastor rapes the local girls. But we let it slide, because god tells him to.
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And your Pastor will surely have to let something slide when his future jail roommate, Big Bubba, catches up with him in jail!
And as for you, condoning it, well, there's a special word for people like that. Which I'm far too ladylike to post here.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 01-15-2007 at 05:27 AM.
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