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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by see_the_light View Post
A good play on words?

How basic, retarded and offensive must a joke be for it to please you?


REPENT AND PRAY TO JESUS!
What, he was complimenting you. It was a nice photoshop job. Sheesh, you're sure hate-filled, STL.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:25 PM

Come to think of it, I would watch a film about a superdog if it had a cool poster like that.


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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:33 PM

One can't but wonder that more results would indeed be gotten by praying to a superdog than to the bible's god. Bwahahaha!



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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:36 PM

Lol, yea. I mean at least you would see some results from the dog.


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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
Lol, yea. I mean at least you would see some results from the dog.
Now you two heathens are in here promoting bestiality? Disgusting!

Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

Confusing is exactly what you two are. Jesus hates that.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:50 PM

You people have really sick minds. It seems sex is all that's on your minds. Sad really, what would your god think?


Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:51 PM

Umm, no, Zeke, we were saying that if a superdog existed, you'd get more results praying to that dog than praying to the bible's god.
How on Earth did you twist that around to see bestiality? Never mind.....don't answer that...I don't want to know.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-18-2006, 11:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
You people have really sick minds. It seems sex is all that's on your minds. Sad really, what would your god think?
The answer to your question can be found in the Holy KJV1611 Bible. Everything that our God thinks on any subject can be found within its pages. You might try reading it sometime. My God is your God, boy. You may chose to ignore Jesus, but He sees you, every second of every day.

Stay away from those dogs, ok? Don't let Rachael VonHellbound drag you down into the gutter she lives in.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-19-2006, 12:02 AM

Quote:
My God is your God, boy.
Why does everyone keep calling me boy, I have a name! I'm not just some nameless kid. Jeez.

Quote:
Don't let Rachael VonHellbound drag you down into the gutter she lives in.
I'm sure her gutter is very nice . Hehe, sexual inuendo.


Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.
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Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-19-2006, 12:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The answer to your question can be found in the Holy KJV1611 Bible. Everything that our God thinks on any subject can be found within its pages. You might try reading it sometime. My God is your God, boy. You may chose to ignore Jesus, but He sees you, every second of every day.
Yes, that's your god. Your deity is not everyone else's deity. That's your religion, your book. It isn't everyone's and not everyone follows it.

Quote:
Stay away from those dogs, ok? Don't let Rachael VonHellbound drag you down into the gutter she lives in.
I may not live in a mansion but not a gutter. My husband and I live in an apartment. A nice one. No roaches. And the odd potroast and steak for dinner.

Quote:
Why does everyone keep calling me boy, I have a name! I'm not just some nameless kid. Jeez.
Because they probably think your name sounds too demonic. Maybe they think that by using saying or typing a name they think sounds demonic, they'll become possessed or conjure up a daemon.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-19-2006, 12:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
I'm sure her gutter is very nice . Hehe, sexual inuendo.
Well, if you're into gutters . . . Which truck stop does she drain, anyway?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
How on Earth did you twist that around to see bestiality? Never mind.....don't answer that...I don't want to know.
Pastor Zeke has been given the gift of interpretation. He is able to read past your coded messages and see the perversions within!
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Dameon_ACLUtard Dameon_ACLUtard is offline
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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-19-2006, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Pastor Zeke has been given the gift of interpretation. He is able to read past your coded messages and see the perversions within!
Perversions we don't know about you mean?


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Default Re: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO? - 12-19-2006, 02:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
What, he was complimenting you. It was a nice photoshop job. Sheesh, you're sure hate-filled, STL.
I did NOT photoshop that heresy!

It will be in the cinemas in august with that beluchi satanist comediant...

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON ALL OF US!
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