Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page hello, I'd like to introduce myself
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
BeforeTheAsylum's Avatar
BeforeTheAsylum BeforeTheAsylum is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jan 2009
BeforeTheAsylum is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default hello, I'd like to introduce myself - 01-16-2009, 01:36 AM

Hmmm...not really sure what to say. I don't even remember how I found this website. But It was different and gave me a laugh. Well I'm a 16 year old female. I enjoy video games, reading, watching tv, listening to music, and partying. I go don't go to church often, but when I do it's a Babtist church. Where do I stand with God? I'm saved, but honestly I'm a bad Christian. I don't often bear the "fruits of salvation." And just so you'll have something to badmouth me for : I've stolen, i smoke, drink, like piercings and admire tatoos, I'm bisexual, I'm a fornicator, I'm sadomasochist, and am friends with a satanist. But I also believe God forgives, and though i shouldn't sin, I know he'll forgive me. While I'm on this earth I plan to make the most of it, and find myself.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Youth Pastor Marty's Avatar
Youth Pastor Marty Youth Pastor Marty is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Saved 10 Years Long service medal, 1st class The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Pastor of GOD Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY!

 
Posts: 386
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Youth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself - 01-16-2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeforeTheAsylum View Post
While I'm on this earth I plan to make the most of it, and find myself...
...in Hell.



Matthew 13:41-43 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself - 01-16-2009, 01:40 AM

That's quite an introduction. You've come to the right place to repent your sins. There are many shoulders here to cry on, but you will only be welcome here if you have Jesus in your heart.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,737
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself - 01-16-2009, 01:41 AM

Sorry, you're too young, come back in 2 years if Jesus permits you to carry on with your reprobate lifestyle.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved