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Default Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 08:09 AM

I am made very uncomfortable by the sight of a lady eating corn on the cob, so much so that I try to avert my eyes every time it happens in my presence.



Corn on the cob is nothing more than a phallic symbol slathered in butter, and the site of women masticating such suggestively shaped food is something to which no man should subject himself.

Worse yet, it acclimates women to the sensations associated with oral sodomy.

Why can't we return to the good old days when books of etiquette clearly proscribed such behavior?

Here's a passage from the indispensable Hints on Etiquette and The Usages of Society; With a Glance at Bad Habits, by Charles William Day, 1843.




I couldn't have said it better myself!

Though the Bible doesn't dwell much on a subject as disturbing as oral sex (why would it?), I feel the following passage is quite relevant:

Quote:
Colossians 3:5

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
Are you prepared to mortify those ears of corn, which are nothing less than pretend members? I certainly hope so!


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Default Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 08:52 AM

Wow. just.. wow.

Is this for real?
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheria View Post
Is this for real?
What? Now you don't believe in corn?

Are you saying Brother FM photoshopped these pictures.

The woman is clearly behaving in a very slutty way. So much so that I'm going to retreat to my prayer closet.

Disgusting!


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I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheria View Post
Wow. just.. wow.

Is this for real?
Cheria, I know it may be hard, at first, to come to grips with the fact that an activity you've probably engaged in your whole life is utterly disgusting, but the facts are what they are.

So yes, Cheria, this is very, very real.


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:06 AM

It even looks like there's a Corn cult!



Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:06 AM

Cheria, I'm looking and looking, and I can't find your introductory thread. Could you please provide a link to it so I can get to know you better?

In a strictly platonic way, of course.


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
It even looks like there's a Corn cult!
Dear Heavens, that is most disturbing!


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 09:16 AM

Quote:
Cheria, I know it may be hard, at first, to come to grips with the fact that an activity you've probably engaged in your whole life is utterly disgusting, but the facts are what they are.
What? What facts?

I have not made an introductory thread.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 10:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheria View Post
What? What facts?

I have not made an introductory thread.
Well I strongly suggest you get yourself to the introductory forum and do so! I'm looking forward to hearing all about your walk with Jesus!


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 10:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Well I strongly suggest you get yourself to the introductory forum and do so! I'm looking forward to hearing all about your walk with Jesus!
I would but I get a message saying;

You have been banned for the following reason:
Sassing back
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 10:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheria View Post
I would but I get a message saying;

You have been banned for the following reason:
Sassing back
Hmmm...

It's a bit confusing that you claim to have been banned, yet you are able to post here. I suggest you contact a Landover pastor and pray about this.

Have you been tithing regularly?


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 11:33 AM

Something tells me this young strumpet has been banned before from our loving forum and rather than learning from our loving rebuke and taking it as a chance to be washed clean from virtual sin and learn the Truth and start clean and anew she is going on another trip round the merry go round of being a hateful mocker.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-08-2012, 01:04 PM

I will pray that you are mistaken, but I fear that you are not.


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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 08:11 PM

Oh my! That is truly disturbing the way she lathers it up with butter and sticks it in her mouth like the whore she is. Lord have mercy on my eyes. It's like those faggots gripping their bananas with lust in their eyes, some of them even make disgusting noises whilst performing these gateway sodomizing acts.

Thank you for shedding some light on these things Brother Faith_Machine, we can't simply stand by and watch people perform these gateway sodomies.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 09:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I am made very uncomfortable by the sight of a lady eating corn on the cob, so much so that I try to avert my eyes every time it happens in my presence.

...

Corn on the cob is nothing more than a phallic symbol slathered in butter, and the site of women masticating such suggestively shaped food is something to which no man should subject himself.

Worse yet, it acclimates women to the sensations associated with oral sodomy.

Why can't we return to the good old days when books of etiquette clearly proscribed such behavior?

Here's a passage from the indispensable Hints on Etiquette and The Usages of Society; With a Glance at Bad Habits, by Charles William Day, 1843.

...

I couldn't have said it better myself!

Though the Bible doesn't dwell much on a subject as disturbing as oral sex (why would it?), I feel the following passage is quite relevant:



Are you prepared to mortify those ears of corn, which are nothing less than pretend members? I certainly hope so!

1. If you really do have a problem with it, I question the wisdom of you posting a picture of the very thing which you say offends you, or rather makes you "very uncomfortable".

2. The LEAST bit of common sense should tell you that the act of eating corn is only in the very remotest of ways like that or performing oral sex. I trust most of us are adults and know or can imagine what that act would look like, so I will not lay out the specifics.

3. Furthermore, I challenge you to come up with examples where this is IN FACT intentionally used for the purpose of acclimating a woman to the sensations. You would have more grounds to say this of using a tooth brush. Do you advocate that women lay aside their tooth brushes? After all, the parrallels are much more pronounced than with corn! Need I lay out examples?


In summary, I suggest that, if eating of corn on the cob brings to mind oral sex, that you reflect long and hard on where your heart truly is and have a genuine "come to Jesus" meeting. If this continues to occur to you, then that would strongly indicate to me that you are allowing your mind to wander to things to which you ought not let it. Gaurd your thoughts from wandering to such sinful places. Additionally, do not place stumbling blocks int he path of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ which should not be there.


Congratulations, you have just been lovingly reproved by a brother in Christ.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 09:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by abdklmw View Post
1. If you really do have a problem with it, I question the wisdom of you posting a picture of the very thing which you say offends you, or rather makes you "very uncomfortable".

2. The LEAST bit of common sense should tell you that the act of eating corn is only in the very remotest of ways like that or performing oral sex. I trust most of us are adults and know or can imagine what that act would look like, so I will not lay out the specifics.

3. Furthermore, I challenge you to come up with examples where this is IN FACT intentionally used for the purpose of acclimating a woman to the sensations. You would have more grounds to say this of using a tooth brush. Do you advocate that women lay aside their tooth brushes? After all, the parrallels are much more pronounced than with corn! Need I lay out examples?


In summary, I suggest that, if eating of corn on the cob brings to mind oral sex, that you reflect long and hard on where your heart truly is and have a genuine "come to Jesus" meeting. If this continues to occur to you, then that would strongly indicate to me that you are allowing your mind to wander to things to which you ought not let it. Gaurd your thoughts from wandering to such sinful places. Additionally, do not place stumbling blocks int he path of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ which should not be there.


Congratulations, you have just been lovingly reproved by a brother in Christ.
Until you start quoting scripture, I'm not going to bother with you. You're not a True Christian™.

That being said, what is the problem with Brother Faith's issue regarding keeping our women pure? They are the weaker vessel and we need to keep abreast of such things.


Brother Faith, would you say that this only applies to women eating corn? Or is it the cooking and buttering that makes it sinful. The reason I ask is that, ever since I saw this picture of the Godly George W. Bush


I have eaten my corn with the husk on.


PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by abdklmw View Post
1. If you really do have a problem with it, I question the wisdom of you posting a picture of the very thing which you say offends you, or rather makes you "very uncomfortable".

2. The LEAST bit of common sense should tell you that the act of eating corn is only in the very remotest of ways like that or performing oral sex. I trust most of us are adults and know or can imagine what that act would look like, so I will not lay out the specifics.

3. Furthermore, I challenge you to come up with examples where this is IN FACT intentionally used for the purpose of acclimating a woman to the sensations. You would have more grounds to say this of using a tooth brush. Do you advocate that women lay aside their tooth brushes? After all, the parrallels are much more pronounced than with corn! Need I lay out examples?


In summary, I suggest that, if eating of corn on the cob brings to mind oral sex, that you reflect long and hard on where your heart truly is and have a genuine "come to Jesus" meeting. If this continues to occur to you, then that would strongly indicate to me that you are allowing your mind to wander to things to which you ought not let it. Gaurd your thoughts from wandering to such sinful places. Additionally, do not place stumbling blocks int he path of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ which should not be there.


Congratulations, you have just been lovingly reproved by a brother in Christ.
You are clearly blind to our FACTS that we have stated here. I urge you to read your Bible more and let Jesus be your guide in the future. If you imply that we are not using common sense, you are certainly implying that God is lacking common sense.

You couldn't have picked a worse example with the tooth brush, do you really think that our Saviour wants our women to have foul breath and demon ridden teeth?

I will be praying for you.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth Campbell View Post
Until you start quoting scripture, I'm not going to bother with you. You're not a True Christian™.

That being said, what is the problem with Brother Faith's issue regarding keeping our women pure? They are the weaker vessel and we need to keep abreast of such things.


Brother Faith, would you say that this only applies to women eating corn? Or is it the cooking and buttering that makes it sinful. The reason I ask is that, ever since I saw this picture of the Godly George W. Bush


I have eaten my corn with the husk on.
Find me a scripture on corn and I'll quote it. God is the inventor of reason, I urge you to employ it. Every single thing in life is not directly addressed in scripture, as is the case here.

As far as a "problem", I have no "problem" per se, merely presenting material for debate. Proverbs 27:17.

Do you find fault with anything I said? Or should I ignore you because you didn't quote any scripture? In any case, if this individual thinks of such things when corn is eaten, does this mean tooth brushing should be admonished?
Matthew 23:26
Mark 7:21-22 (from WITHIN come evil thoughts)
By stating his "discomfort" with an innocuous activity and moreso, by posting a picture of this activity which supposedly makes him uncomfortable, he is placing his own evil thoughts into others' minds. Romans 14:13
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 10:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bible Thumping Billy View Post
You are clearly blind to our FACTS that we have stated here. I urge you to read your Bible more and let Jesus be your guide in the future. If you imply that we are not using common sense, you are certainly implying that God is lacking common sense.

You couldn't have picked a worse example with the tooth brush, do you really think that our Saviour wants our women to have foul breath and demon ridden teeth?

I will be praying for you.

I'm having trouble finding "oral hygiene" in my concordance, perhaps you would be so kind as to quote a scripture which advocates tooth brushing... Surely a mouth rinse could be used which wouldn't impart such an image on any one witnessing and wouldn't acclimate women to the sensation, such as a brush would?

Please... Enlighten me Brother Billy.
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Default Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex! - 01-10-2012, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by abdklmw View Post
Find me a scripture on corn and I'll quote it. God is the inventor of reason, I urge you to employ it. Every single thing in life is not directly addressed in scripture, as is the case here.

As far as a "problem", I have no "problem" per se, merely presenting material for debate. Proverbs 27:17.

Do you find fault with anything I said? Or should I ignore you because you didn't quote any scripture? In any case, if this individual thinks of such things when corn is eaten, does this mean tooth brushing should be admonished?
Matthew 23:26
Mark 7:21-22 (from WITHIN come evil thoughts)
By stating his "discomfort" with an innocuous activity and moreso, by posting a picture of this activity which supposedly makes him uncomfortable, he is placing his own evil thoughts into others' minds. Romans 14:13
You can't find the word Corn in your Bible Yet you call yourself a Christian?

The KJV Bible has 168 references to Corn, none of which say that it should be eaten smothered in butter by women. Which (per)version do you read? You seem to be a cherry picker, do you go to the United Church by any chance?

Matthew 23:26 is part of a condemnation about Pharasee's not following the law, yet you believe that "common sense" is more important than the law.
Mark 7: 21-22, we're talking about women having sexual thoughts here, those do not come for inside?
As for the Romans quote, I suggest you read all of Romans 14. You are the one putting up stumbling blocks with your presumptious ideas that "common sense" is more important than THE WORD OF GOD!


PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
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