Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out.

loveforchrist · **Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 08:27 PM

Many people are homers at heart, but are possibly in denial. They go around ignoring their sinner ways. While they do not indulge in them, ignoring them is still ignoring a huge problem, and the first step to praying the gay away is realizing that you are a dirty rotten fag. This quiz should give you a good idea just how gay you really are.

1. What do you think about Obama?

a. He's okay
b. He's the best President this nation has ever seen
c. He's a despicable mooslim

2. Which Twilight movie is your favorite?

a. the first one
b. the second one
c. the third one
d. I couldn't possibly decide
e. What's Twilight?

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4 or more
e. lost count

4. I go to the gym to __________

a. get in shape
b. watch other guys work out

5. I masturbate ______________

a. once a day
b. once a week
c. once a month
d. NEVER

6. Guns _____________

a. Should be in every household in America
b. Are violent and should be illegal

7. I go to church ____________

a. Once a week
b. never
c. every day

8. The Bible I read is the ___________

a. NIV Bible
b. KJV Bible
c. Mooslimb bible
d. Flying spaghetti Bible

9. I wish that Oprah ________

a. Was on 24/7
b. Would come live with me
c. would die and burn in hell

10. You wake up and notice your wife isn't at home... So you______

a. Try on her clothes
b. Put on her make-up
c. Shrug and assume she knows what she's doing
d. Hunt her down, find her, and make sure she never leaves the house without your permission again

11. Your kid is misbehaving, so you

a. Ignore him
b. hit him until he stops
c. have sex with him

12. You find out your son is gay, so you

a. kill him
b. accept him for who he is
c. pretend you never found out
d. be gay with him too.

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you

a. join in
b. shut all the windows
c. shout scripture from your porch and tell them that they are going to hell (burn down the float if they don't listen

14. Your favorite sport is __________

a. Baseball
b. football
c. soccer
d. gay sex

15. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra because _____________

a. he was jealous of all the fun they were having.
b. because he knows how to dispose of dirty homers
c. he was bored

16. My favorite musical is ________

a. Mary Poppins
b. Phantom of the opera
c. HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT?!

17. I think the Pope

a. Is a filthy perverted sinner
b. Is fine as long as he doesn't touch my son
c. Should keep doing what he is doing

18. I consider myself

a. A democrat
b. a Republican
c. A mormon who doesn't know what to think

19. For dinner I have ____________

a. creme fraiche with a side of white wine
b. A delicious medley organic fried rice and braised tofu
c. Whatever my wife is making

20. Fags die

a. I laugh
b. I cry
c. I donate money to some BS AIDS program.

Here are the correct answers:
1-c, 2-e, 3-a, 4-a, 5-d, 6-a, 7-c, 8-b, 9-c, 10-d, 11-b, 12-a, 13-c, 14-b, 15-b, 16-c, 17-a, 18-b, 19-c, 20-a

Score yourself. If you got ANY LESS than an 18 out of 20, watch out, you might be a homer! Start praying NOW!

~~Godshumblechild~~ · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 09:14 PM

1. What do you think about Obama?

a. He's okay
b. He's the best President this nation has ever seen
c. He's a despicable mooslim

He is killing Us against Gods will

2. Which Twilight movie is your favorite?

a. the first one
b. the second one
c. the third one
d. I couldn't possibly decide
e. What's Twilight?

I do not watch Tv, its of the devil

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4 or more
e. lost count

2

4. I go to the gym to __________

a. get in shape
b. watch other guys work out

I do not go to the gym

5. I masturbate ______________

a. once a day
b. once a week
c. once a month
d. NEVER

never, I do not give in to the devil

6. Guns _____________

a. Should be in every household in America
b. Are violent and should be illegal

I have 5 and would use them to protect my family if needed

7. I go to church ____________

a. Once a week
b. never
c. every day

If two or more gather in my name I will be present.
nuff said

8. The Bible I read is the ___________

a. NIV Bible
b. KJV Bible
c. Mooslimb bible
d. Flying spaghetti Bible

King James ORIGINAL writing

9. I wish that Oprah ________

a. Was on 24/7
b. Would come live with me
c. would die and burn in hell

Who?

10. You wake up and notice your wife isn't at home... So you______

a. Try on her clothes
b. Put on her make-up
c. Shrug and assume she knows what she's doing
d. Hunt her down, find her, and make sure she never leaves the house without your permission again

Never will happen, sorry

11. Your kid is misbehaving, so you

a. Ignore him
b. hit him until he stops
c. have sex with him

Never happens

12. You find out your son is gay, so you

a. kill him
b. accept him for who he is
c. pretend you never found out
d. be gay with him too.

wont happen

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you

a. join in
b. shut all the windows
c. shout scripture from your porch and tell them that they are going to hell (burn down the float if they don't listen

protest as usual

14. Your favorite sport is __________

a. Baseball
b. football
c. soccer
d. gay sex

none

15. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra because _____________

a. he was jealous of all the fun they were having.
b. because he knows how to dispose of dirty homers
c. he was bored

they deserved to die

16. My favorite musical is ________

a. Mary Poppins
b. Phantom of the opera
c. HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT?!

musical?

17. I think the Pope

a. Is a filthy perverted sinner
b. Is fine as long as he doesn't touch my son
c. Should keep doing what he is doing

is doomed to hell

18. I consider myself

a. A democrat
b. a Republican
c. A mormon who doesn't know what to think

I am Christian and that is all

19. For dinner I have ____________

a. creme fraiche with a side of white wine
b. A delicious medley organic fried rice and braised tofu
c. Whatever my wife is making

My wife cooks what ever I am hungry for

20. Fags die

a. I laugh
b. I cry
c. I donate money to some BS AIDS program.

we all die (physically)
we all continue to live though
I Live internally with the Lord

TheLordSavedMe · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

1. What do you think about Obama?
c. He's a despicable mooslim

2. Which Twilight movie is your favorite?
a. the first one
But that's like asking which one of your fingernails do you want to be pulled out first, it's kinda a stupid question.

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
c. 3

4. I go to the gym to __________
I don't go to the gym, it's toooooo expensive and it smells like a laundry basket!

5. I masturbate ______________ (

G R O S S ! ! !

)
d. NEVER

6. Guns _____________
a. Should be in every household in America
Guns don't kill people, atheists kill people!

7. I go to church ____________
c. every day
This forum is my church and I come here everyday!

8. The Bible I read is the ___________
b. KJV Bible

9. I wish that Oprah ________
c. would die and burn in hell

10. You wake up and notice your wife isn't at home... So you______
Pass- I’m a girl and I’m not married.

11. Your kid is misbehaving, so you
Pass- I’m a virgin and I don’t have kids.

12. You find out your son is gay, so you
Pass- I’m a virgin and I don’t have kids.

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you
b. shut all the windows
c. shout scripture from your porch and tell them that they are going to hell (burn down the float if they don't listen)
I actually did this once! It's totally weird that you like KNEW that!

14. Your favorite sport is __________
a. Baseball
This is sorta like #2 really. I think all sports are stupid and against God, except maybe bowling. I like to bowl sometimes, but I'm not very good at it.

15. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra because _____________
b. because he knows how to dispose of dirty homers

16. My favorite musical is ________
Other – The Song of the South
It's that Disney one with Uncle Remus. They don't show it on TV anymore, I wish they would!

17. I think the Pope
a. Is a filthy perverted sinner

18. I consider myself
b. a Republican
I've never voted though. It's like TOTALLY hard to find where you're supposed to vote AND they keep changing it!!!

19. For dinner I have ____________
c. Whatever my wife is making
Except it’s my Mom that cooks.

20. Fags die
a. I laugh
Because it's kinda funny to imagine a homo or a lesbo dying, being all over dramatic and everything.

b. I cry
Because it's kinda sad that they will never get to get cured and go to HEAVEN to be with JESUS!

Here are the correct answers:
1-c, 2-e, 3-a, 4-a, 5-d, 6-a, 7-c, 8-b, 9-c, 10-d, 11-b, 12-a, 13-c, 14-b, 15-b, 16-c, 17-a, 18-b, 19-c, 20-a

Score yourself. If you got ANY LESS than an 18 out of 20, watch out, you might be a homer! Start praying NOW!

See, I don't think this is very good test, because I got WAY less than 18 and I've been a True Christian™ for like almost a YEAR!!! Forum members shouldn't make tests maybe (sorry LoveforChrist!

), it should just be Pastors and rrreeallllllly smart True Christian men like Rev. Jim and guys like that!

Tammi

.

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

1. What do you think about Obama?

a. He's okay
b. He's the best President this nation has ever seen
c. He's a despicable mooslim

He's ok.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

2. Which Twilight movie is your favorite?

a. the first one
b. the second one
c. the third one
d. I couldn't possibly decide
e. What's Twilight?

Not a fan of twilight

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4 or more
e. lost count

1 pair

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

4. I go to the gym to __________

a. get in shape
b. watch other guys work out

Lawl, go to the gym. I think these A and B questions are getting a little obvious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

5. I masturbate ______________

a. once a day
b. once a week
c. once a month
d. NEVER

Wheres the 3 times a day option?

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

6. Guns _____________

a. Should be in every household in America
b. Are violent and should be illegal

My answer to this isn't that easy, I belive in a more strict regulation on guns, But I'll go with a.Should be in every household in america.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

7. I go to church ____________

a. Once a week
b. never
c. every day

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

8. The Bible I read is the ___________

a. NIV Bible
b. KJV Bible
c. Mooslimb bible
d. Flying spaghetti Bible

NIV bible, and occasionally The flying spaghetti bible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

9. I wish that Oprah ________

a. Was on 24/7
b. Would come live with me
c. would die and burn in hell

I really hate Oprah, and don't give a shit at the same time. But I wouldn't want to send anyone to burn in hell so I'll pick: a.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

10. You wake up and notice your wife isn't at home... So you______

a. Try on her clothes
b. Put on her make-up
c. Shrug and assume she knows what she's doing
d. Hunt her down, find her, and make sure she never leaves the house without your permission again

To obvious, c, sometimes a. and b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

11. Your kid is misbehaving, so you

a. Ignore him
b. hit him until he stops
c. have sex with him

I wouldn't hit him or ignore him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

12. You find out your son is gay, so you

a. kill him
b. accept him for who he is
c. pretend you never found out
d. be gay with him too.

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you

a. join in
b. shut all the windows
c. shout scripture from your porch and tell them that they are going to hell (burn down the float if they don't listen

I think I'd be watching you guys and the Westboro baptist church burn down their floats, It'd be a good time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

14. Your favorite sport is __________

a. Baseball
b. football
c. soccer
d. gay sex

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

15. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra because _____________

a. he was jealous of all the fun they were having.
b. because he knows how to dispose of dirty homers
c. he was bored

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

16. My favorite musical is ________

a. Mary Poppins
b. Phantom of the opera
c. HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT?!

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

17. I think the Pope

a. Is a filthy perverted sinner
b. Is fine as long as he doesn't touch my son
c. Should keep doing what he is doing

b.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

18. I consider myself

a. A democrat
b. a Republican
c. A mormon who doesn't know what to think

I hate grouping myself like this, but if I HAD to choose it would be democrat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

19. For dinner I have ____________

a. creme fraiche with a side of white wine
b. A delicious medley organic fried rice and braised tofu
c. Whatever my wife is making

Whatever I can find.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

20. Fags die

a. I laugh
b. I cry
c. I donate money to some BS AIDS program.

Don't give a shit.

10/20 UH oh I might be a homer! But then again these questions are mostly personal preference not answers that have a correct and wrong. Like asking someone what is their favorite Ice cream, they say chocolate and you say WRONG! VANILLA.

loveforchrist · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLordSavedMe

See, I don't think this is very good test, because I got WAY less than 18 and I've been a True Christian™ for like almost a YEAR!!! Forum members shouldn't make tests maybe (sorry LoveforChrist!

), it should just be Pastors and rrreeallllllly smart True Christian men like Rev. Jim and guys like that!

Tammi

.

Well, to be fair, you're a woman, so this really isn't accurate for you. This applies to men who could be homers.

TheLordSavedMe · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

Well, to be fair, you're a woman, so this really isn't accurate for you. This applies to men who could be homers.

If it was just for guys, you rreeeaalllllly should have said that at the beginning. Also, maybe it should have been in the Promise Enforcers Forum, since that is the Man Only forum and that way, I wouldn't even have ever seen it!

Tammi

Daniel the Sodomite · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-04-2011, 10:31 PM

1. What do you think about Obama?

He's sooo well spoken.

2. Which Twilight movie is your favorite?

Is that the one with the muscley injun fella whose really a dog and that the pale wizard queer boy who wears glitter and looks like he's got the AIDS (he looks sick with something) fightin over some lesbo trollop on my Burger King cup?

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

1 currently, but I had 36 before B.A.S.H. I seriously need to do some shoppin.

4. I go to the gym to __________

I go to the gym 5 days a week. It really gets the blood flowing in just the right places.

5. I masturbate ______________

Pass

6. Guns _____________

OMG! Oh, noooo. You could hurt yourself something fearsome with on of those things. Those things is dangerous! I do just fine with a whistle. You just put your lips together and blow the damn thing.

7. I go to church ____________

I've been in a Baptist Academy School of Heterosexuality (it's a real hush-hush Christian boarding school of sorts) for 3 years so you could say I've gone to church every waking hour of every day.

8. The Bible I read is the ___________

KJV Bible, of course.

9. I wish that Oprah ________

Would lose the weight and keep it off.

10. You wake up and notice your wife isn't at home... So you______

Have alittle me time.

11. Your kid is misbehaving, so you

Give the little rascal a severe slapping

12. You find out your son is gay, so you

Send him to B.A.S.H. It worked for me!

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you

Do ya'll even have those here in the midwest?

14. Your favorite sport is __________

Swimmin. That or roman-greco wrastlin. Mmph.

15. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra because _____________

because he knows how to dispose of dirty homers

16. My favorite musical is ________

Little Shop of Horrors with Rick Moranis. Remember that one? Oh, that's a classic in my book!

17. I think the Pope

Is an undead lich lord from the underworld. That nazi creepster creeps the crap out of me!

18. I consider myself

Repulican conservative

19. For dinner I have ____________

Mack n' cheese. I'm kinda livin in a motel at the moment...

20. Fags die

...all the time???

Cranky Old Man · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveforchrist

1. What do you think about Obama?

The biggest disaster to ever hit America.

Quote:

3. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Zero. Real man wear boots.

Quote:

4. I go to the gym to __________

Gyms are for hippies.

Quote:

12. You find out your son is gay, so you

Beat him until he stops being gay. Then beat him some more.

Quote:

13. A gay pride parade goes through your neighborhood, so you

Impossible. Freehold doesn't have gays.

Quote:

19. For dinner I have ____________

Something I shot with my Smith and Wesson 500 Mag Hunter.

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

The biggest disaster to ever hit America.

Care to explain why? I'm not a big Obama fan by any means, but I don't think hes the biggest disaster to hit america.

Cranky Old Man · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CultusBelena

Care to explain why? I'm not a big Obama fan by any means, but I don't think hes the biggest disaster to hit America.

He made our army gay, he allowed the terrorists to win, he destroyed our economy, etc. etc. etc.

You can read all about it here: Barack Obama, America's WORST disaster ever!

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

He made our army gay,

True, but he is sending them there to die, Do you think a gay man would be able to shoot another human being?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

he allowed the terrorists to win

I kind of see that, Our freedoms have been raped since the war on terror (TSA)[/QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

he destroyed our economy

I could be wrong here, but I think Bush helped a lot with that.

Pastor Ezekiel · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CultusBelena

I could be wrong here, but I think Bush helped a lot with that.

You couldn't be wronger.

GWB was the best president this country has ever seen. He was hand-picked by Jesus, so SHUT YOUR FILTHY SINNERS MOUTH!

loveforchrist · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You couldn't be wronger.

GWB was the best president this country has ever seen. He was hand-picked by Jesus, so SHUT YOUR FILTHY SINNERS MOUTH!

Amen to that brother. When Jesus is backing everything you do, how can you be wrong?

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You couldn't be wronger.

GWB was the best president this country has ever seen. He was hand-picked by Jesus, so SHUT YOUR FILTHY SINNERS MOUTH!

Listen, I know you guys are Extreme right wing republican Christian fundies but open your eyes for a second, George W. Bush was not a good president.

Brother Enoch · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 06:34 AM

I can't be a homer, I LOVE my wife's junk! Well, okay, I used to love it before all the kids stretched it entirely out of shape and before she built the mountains of flab to conceal it, one bonbon at a time.

As for President Bush, he was not only the greatest president ever, but he is responsible for bringing me to True Christianity™! On the evening of 9/11 he addressed the nation and he spoke directly to me. 'You're either with us or against us' He said. I responded (with tears running down my face) 'I'm with you!!' and contacted Pastor Ezekiel that very evening and became a True Christian™. God Bless President Bush!!

Pastor Ezekiel · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CultusBulimia

Listen, I know you guys are Extreme right wing republican Christian fundies but open your eyes for a second, George W. Bush was not a good president.

I guess you prefer a muslim jigaboo.

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I guess you prefer a muslim jigaboo.

Nah, I just believe in reason and logic.
By the way, why are you always in a : bad mood : ? Do you have constipation? If os I can recommend a great product to help you with that.

loveforchrist · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CultusBulimia

Nah, I just believe in reason and logic.
By the way, why are you always in a : bad mood : ? Do you have constipation? If os I can recommend a great product to help you with that.

Pastor Ezekiel is in a bad mood when he talks to you because you are annoying.

Daniel the Sodomite · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CultusBulimia

Nah, I just believe in reason and logic.
By the way, why are you always in a : bad mood : ? Do you have constipation? If os I can recommend a great product to help you with that.

OMG, what is it with your kind and your incessant need to deem everything you do logical and reasonable? What the heck does logic and reason have to do with your personal opinion on a subject? Do ya think usin them terms make your opinion any less of an opinion? mormon!

It's like sayin sapphires is better than emeralds based on "logic and reasoning". You're not smart. You're not clever. You're not wise. You're not an intellectual. You're not rational. And you're not logical. You're just another air brained atheist who thinks it's "cool" and "smartsy" to deny our Lord and Savior and blindly believe in secular science and so-called "progressive" ideology.

Imbecciles like you really chap my ass. You are a perfect example of why parents should beat their little ones. Gosh!

CultusBulimia · **Re: Are YOU a HOMER? Take this test and find out. -** 02-05-2011, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel the Sodomite

It's like sayin sapphires is better than emeralds based on "logic and reasoning".

No, not really. If a bum off the street looks up at the clouds and says "God must of put pillows in the clouds for when we die." Then another man walks by and says "No, They're clear water crystals settling on dust in the atmosphere." That's not personal preference. That's a fact.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel the Sodomite

You're not smart. You're not clever. You're not wise. You're not an intellectual. You're not rational. And you're not logical.

Compared to the people here . . . Yeah I am.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel the Sodomite

You're just another air brained atheist who thinks it's "cool" and "smartsy" to deny our Lord and Savior and blindly believe in secular science and so-called "progressive" ideology.

I used to think that too, That most atheists on the internet were just these people that followed a crowd of rebellions who adopted atheism and don't do any actual research on the claims they make, and make arguments full of ad-hominem attack against all religion they see. After drifting from agnostic, atheist and Christianity I realized you can't chose to be an atheist. If you are above average IQ, open to any truth you can find, and research, you will become an atheist.

Also, Check my sig, Admins said I couldn't use Nietzsche in my sig so I used your bible.