[Helper]

Hello.I am helper.
And, I'm here to help you guys out.
Go figure.


First off, my favorite chapter in the bible is Romans 14.


Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
Here are the first 4 verses.



They say a lot about your thread telling people which foods true christian's can and cannot eat.


Why does that thread not follow the bible?
The bible verses here very clearly say not to dispute over that.
So why do you tell people who eat carrots that they're going to hell?

[handmaiden]

Originally Posted by Helper

Hello.I am helper.
And, I'm here to help you guys out.
Go figure.


First off, my favorite chapter in the bible is Romans 14.


Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
Here are the first 4 verses.



They say a lot about your thread telling people which foods true christian's can and cannot eat.


Why does that thread not follow the bible?
The bible verses here very clearly say not to dispute over that.
So why do you tell people who eat carrots that they're going to hell?

First and foremost, you are not using the King James Bible. That is the True© Bible, and the only version accepted at Landover Baptist.


Second, I extend to you a partial welcome because you only provided a partial introduction. Even that is extremely geneous on my part because you have apparently only come here to criticize us.


Would you march into someone's home, sit down on their furniture uninvited and start criticizing their decor?


So go back to the drawing board and sketch out a more congenial approach. Perhaps then we will talk.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Helper

Hello.I am helper.
And, I'm here to help you guys out.
Go figure.

Well hello there. I wonder who you're here to help.

First off, my favorite chapter in the bible is Romans 14.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
Here are the first 4 verses.


They say a lot about your thread telling people which foods true christian's can and cannot eat.

We are not telling people to not eat certain kinds of foods because being a vegetarian or vegan makes one homosexual or anything.
It's the meaning behind the foods. The symbolism or things they stand for.

Like our boycott of Oreos and Nabisco foods. Or our disdain for that super gay topper Count Chocula.

Why does that thread not follow the bible?
The bible verses here very clearly say not to dispute over that.
So why do you tell people who eat carrots that they're going to hell?

Matthew 5:29-30
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

If you have a problem with carrots. You know sticking them in your vagina or rectum, then you shouldn't be eating them.

The same goes for cucumbers.

[Helper]

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

If you have a problem with carrots. You know sticking them in your vagina or rectum, then you shouldn't be eating them.

The same goes for cucumbers.

And if I don't go doing that?

[BrotherLarry]

Originally Posted by Helper

And if I don't go doing that?

Then congratulations! You are avoiding homer temptations, unlike the unfortunate masses who ignore our Lord's command not to engage in same s-e-x activity in the bedroom.


I think the root of your question is based on a misconception. You see, WE don't tell others how to live. We don't have to! The Holy Bible is our roadmap to life, and we just love to share it so everyone can go to Heaven at the end of their journey on this earth. All of our admonishments and warnings comes straight from our Lord's Word.


Self-help books used to be a billion dollar industry. How shameful when the only self-help book anyone needs is the one that starts with Genesis and ends with Revelation. GLORY!


BrotherLarry
Revelation 22:12

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Helper

Hello.I am helper.
And, I'm here to help you guys out.
Go figure.

Can anyone explain to me the meaning of "Go figure" in this context? Or is it just noise?

[BrotherLarry]

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey

Can anyone explain to me the meaning of "Go figure" in this context? Or is it just noise?

Most Lovely Sister,


Go figure is a term (used mostly by Mormons and Homosexuals) to say "How ironic." They think it's somehow all cool and stuff to use slang, despite the Lord's admonishment to be careful of the words we speak (Matthew 12:36).


Nothing for a dear lady to fret over. We men will handle it.


BrotherLarry

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry

Go figure is a term (used mostly by Mormons and Homosexuals) to say "How ironic." They think it's somehow all cool and stuff to use slang, despite the Lord's admonishment to be careful of the words we speak (Matthew 12:36).
Nothing for a dear lady to fret over. We men will handle it.

Ah, I think I understand. I don't mean I understand what he said that was ironic - we don't really understand irony in Godless Britain.


Thank you, Brother.

[Mister Brasil]

Originally Posted by Helper

First off, my favorite chapter in the bible is Romans 14.

That's a great chapter! As they all are. Allow me to quote the inspired text, rather than your paraphrase.

Romans 14:2:

Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations. For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.

Do you see? We are weak-- the beloved of Jesus-- and our appetite is not strong. Temptations abound. All that are weak, and none are stronger than we, can eat only herbs.


We're not judging you for eating herbs. We're judging you for rolling bananas around in your mouths suggestively. You haven't the strength of faith to eat bananas. Jesus, who is perfect, can eat bananas.


Indeed, your spin is completely backwards, which isn't surprising, because Christians are the most oppressed majority in the United States. But that's okay:


2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 :

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Do you understand now? You are the one the claims that your faith is perfect; that you are the one that can eat bananas. You are the one claiming the perfection only Jesus possesses. You are the one despising him that eateth not.

Romans 14:3:

Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.

Is your faith strong enough to eat bananas? Then I don't despise you. But I have serious doubts about your level of spiritual perfection. I despise him that God hath not received. And God hath not received anyone who has never examined a banana with a certain amount of suspicion.

1 John 1:8:

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

That's the problem with fat people that want to eat everything. Don't worry; we still love all you fatties.