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Default Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-01-2007, 10:01 PM
Brother Obed Tuckett, recently dispatched by Landover Baptist to hunt down vampiric and demon-possessed fowl in the greater tri-state area, has not only met with spectacular success—he's made national headlines in the process!

Name: huston.jpg Views: 95 Size: 8.9 KB

Let's hear it for it for the Godly Brother Tuckett, a credit to our humble church.



Quote:
Man pummels 'vampire' peacock

NEW YORK (AP) -- A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a Burger King in New York City was beaten by a man who insisted it was a vampire.

Animal control officials in Staten Island say the bird was beaten so fiercely that most of its tail feathers fell out and it had to be euthanized.

The seven-year-old male peacock wandered into the restaurant parking lot and perched on a car hood last week. Charmed employees had been feeding it bread when the man appeared.

A restaurant worker says the man grabbed the bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started stomping it. She says when he was asked what he was doing, he responded, "'I'm killing a vampire!"'

Employees called police, but the man ran when he saw them.

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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-02-2007, 02:47 AM
Um...ok.
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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-02-2007, 04:55 AM
Would've been nasty if it got him, Peacocks are evil little things.
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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-03-2007, 09:44 PM
Not as evil as chickens. They'll chase you.
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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-03-2007, 09:51 PM
Note in the article how much care and attention the bird received in comparison to the poor Brother Obed. That is secular humanism in action; birds are more important than people.


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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-04-2007, 08:26 AM
Umm... what led this guy to believe that the bird was a 'vampire'?

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Default Re: Godly Man Neutralizes Vampire Bird - 07-04-2007, 10:08 AM
Praise Jesus! This is how we should deal with all goths, both human and non-human.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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