Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Who here wants to play Sleasepits And Sinners™, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons?

Instead of goblins and orcs we face sinners. Instead of magic spells we use prayer.

Don't worry, you won't need to roll dice or do any elitist math. As the SpM (Sleasepit Master) I'll take care of all that for you. You just tell me what your character wants to do and I'll tell you what happens.

Here are some modules we can play:

1. Escape from the Synogogue of Satan
2. Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan
3. The Campus of Doom
4. Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors

We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.

Sounds fun!

My race: White

My class: Upper

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)

As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.

And then, he enters.

He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

And he has a Crusade for you.

Dare you answer The Call?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)

As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.

And then, he enters.

He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

And he has a Crusade for you.

Dare you answer The Call?

Is he shiny?

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)

As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.

And then, he enters.

He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

And he has a Crusade for you.

Dare you answer The Call?

I am overwhwhelmed by this glorious apparition. I dare not say no, I dare not say anything but I fall on my knees and my white and financially relatively well-kept lips utter a silent verse in prayer.

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

I nod frantically. YES, YES. But I dare not make eye contact lest I be refused to join the quest.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

Is he shiny?

Due to his ever-diligent application of top-quality antiperspirant, no, but around his neck is a cross so impressive it makes Flava-Flav's neckware look downright dainty. It's made from a metal so valuable, the place that mines it uses platinum as packing peanuts.

With a voice like thunder, he says:

"Patriots, in the far away land of the People's Republic of DesMoinstan, in that sweltering urban jungle, deep in that moist and humid nether-region, lurks a secret that must be uncovered. Hidden in ACORN HQ is a stolen Ballot Box that proves Sarah Palin, and therefore Jesus, won the 2008 election. Also Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. And his Iraqi birth certificate also. These artifacts must be recovered, if you fail the world will be destroyed. By which I mean America will be destroyed, and probably also some parts of Canada, since they're mostly downhill from us. Win and the universe is saved. Also, you'll get 200 Experience points, so you'll probably level up."

Edit: A note about races: Dwarves are not allowed, because God hates them. (Leviticus 21:17-23) Oompa-Loompas are okay, I guess. Monsterous races are okay, but until I get used to this game let's stick to monsters that are Biblically proven to exist in real life.

A note about classes: You don't have to be wealthy to be an adventurer. A level 1 "Blue Collar" gets $50 an hour or whatever minimum wage is, plus you get extra thief skills (because you've gotten practise stealing from your employer).

[Jedediah]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

I'm in.

Race: White
Class: Upper-Middle

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)

As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.

And then, he enters.

He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

And he has a Crusade for you.

Dare you answer The Call?

I would follow Jesus anywhere. I would do whatever He commands of me. I will never, ever turn my back on Him. I will never, ever resist obedience, nor would I hesitate a moment to think it over. My life for my Savior. My body for my Savior. My mind for my Savior. He can have my happiness, my memories, my will, and my all, for He is my All and I love Him! I love Him so much I would kill or die for Him. Kill or die. As He commands.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

Race: Anything but NASCAR

Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )

...paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

And he has a Crusade for you...

Cool, never tried that before.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

I'm in too!

Race - Anglo-Celt (just to mix it up a bit - this is only a role-playing game, right?)
Class - Intellectual Elite

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

I was thinking about "other" but couldn't see any comments. The other option "Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors" seemed to have a lot of shiny people in it but as the description in OP unfolded what I visualised was without a head.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

Race: Anything but NASCAR

Just for that, you'll be an Oomba-Loompa.

Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )

A double-amputee, legless Oompa-Loompa. Sister Mary will carry you in her handbag.

On with the role-playing:

A phone suddenly rings, startling Sister Mary, who fails a dexterity check and drops her handbag on the floor. Hard. Also, there's broken glass on the floor, causing 1d6 damage to Didymus. He loses 4 hit points. Ouch.

Zeke picks up the phone, and says "Yes....Yes....Yes....I understand....Amen". He puts down the phone and says "I've just gotten word that Obama's Birth Certificates have been moved to new locations. One is in the Campus of Doom, and the other is in the Synagogue of Satan, where the terrifying Level 5 Rabbi George Soros sits upon a vast treasure hoard. Also, if you're feeling sleepy, you can always get some coffee at Starbuckstan, but you don't have to, I mean, I'm not complaining that you're going to ignore something that took hours of work to create, it's totally your adventure."

"Where will you go first?"

[WWJDnow]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

What a wonderful idea!

The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. 1 Corinthians 10:7

Race: full-blooded white
Class: finishing 3rd year of dental school
Alignment: conservative Republican
Profession: 1st level dentist/1st level churchgoer
Powers: speaking in tongues, spotting homos, performing root canals, immunity to witchcraft, prayer
Items of Power: The Holy Bible, KJV1611
Weapons: God's Living Word; +2 dental drill; Chick tracts
Armor: The Whole Armor of God (Ephesians 6:11)

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

"Where will you go first?"[/COLOR][/I]

Probably the one that is closer. I'm not afraid of either destination (Romans 8:31), but let's be practical here. Gas prices are on the rise, and Mr. Etheldreda doesn't like to wait for supper.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons

Probably the one that is closer. I'm not afraid of either destination (Romans 8:31), but let's be practical here. Gas prices are on the rise, and Mr. Etheldreda doesn't like to wait for supper.

Zeke smiles. "Finally, some leadership, initiative, and clear thinking from a true go-getter."

*SLAP*

"ONE TIMOTHY TWO TWELVE YOU HELLSPAWN!"

(You have lost 3 hit points)

Footnote:

1 timothy 2-12

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." -God