Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Posts: 12,662
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Location: Standing behind my husband
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Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 04:08 PM
As everyone is aware, the Whitford family faith healer, Pastor Benny Hinn, is a little busy right now fighting some false accusations, so my husband, Mr. Whitford, went to a secular "doctor" on Friday for a slight cough he has. While there, the "physician" said that while Mr. Whitford appears to be a healthy, robust man, it wouldn't hurt him to have a "physical" to ensure everything's "working okay".
My husband was wary as he rightfully doesn't trust quacks who don't have a solid creation science background, and when he was asked to strip down to his underwear he started to get concerned. However, everything seemed to be going alright so Mr. Whitford started to let his guard down.
Then it happened. The "doctor" said he wanted to give my husband a prostate exam. When this deviant explained what is involved, my husband roared in horror, punched the pervert who was coming on to him, and hightailed it out of there!
The punchline? Mr. Whitford is the one who got arrested and is sitting in jail for "assault" as I write this! He wasn't sure about sharing his embarrassing story, but now that he hasn't been able to get released in time for church, he figured it will help serve as a warning for all decent heteros*xual True Christian™ men and so he told me to come tell the tale here with the added apologies of allowing me in the men's forum.
Now for the horrifying part. Please don't read any further without girding yourself in the Armor of God and praying to avoid disturbing mental images!
According to the "doctor", a "prostate exam" involves him STICKING HIS FINGER UP A MAN'S BACKSIDE!
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Romans 1:26-27 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
If any man tells you he has to stick his finger up your backside to "ensure you are healthy", RUN! Run as fast as you can! No sane man wants to stick his finger up another man's backside, and if you let them start there, there is no telling where it will lead!
Thank you, and once again my husband and I both apologize for me posting in the men's forum.
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True Christian™
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Location: On my way to Heaven!
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 05:23 PM
How come secular "healt care" allways ends up with sodomy?
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Posts: 15,223
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Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 05:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
If any man tells you he has to stick his finger up your backside to "ensure you are healthy", RUN! Run as fast as you can! No sane man wants to stick his finger up another man's backside, and if you let them start there, there is no telling where it will lead!
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Sister Mary, thank you for bringing up this most uncomfortable subject. It needs to be brought into the open so that when someone is confronted with it they can be prepared.
It has given me the strength to publicly relate my prostate experience.
CAUTION!!!
My story is even more graphic and humiliating than Mr. Whitford's. It ends well, but only after a long and hard time in the darkness. If detailed descriptions of sodomy and ejaculation turn your stomach, I beg you to stop reading now.
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After proudly serving my country for almost 9 years, I was scheduled to be discharged and had to go for what they call a "separation physical" at the base hospital.
Everything was going fine: stick out your tongue, breathe deeply, take some blood, put the balloon around your arm, etc. etc. It was really a quite pleasant experience, going from office to office and having each doctor perform his specialty.
I'm not generally one to go to doctors, preferring to let prayer answer any medical needs I require, but I had my orders and they seemed to be having a nice time, so I went along with it. What's the harm, right?
And then I came to the last door.
I walked in, and there was a swarthy fellow with a weird smile on his face. I could tell from his name tag that he was an injun (the dot kind, not the scalping kind). I had heard stories about their sodomite ways, but I had assumed that the US military weeded those "men" out (this was during the presidency of the great George H.W. Bush, before all that namby-pamby "don't ask don't tell" nonsense from Slick Willie).
He told me to lean over a table and pull down my pants. I was very scared, but he was an officer and I was enlisted and, well, you do what you're told.
Suddenly it felt like I was being split apart. I found out later that they only use their finger, but it felt like someone had shoved a half gallon jug of milk up my bottom.
But it gets worse: when he pushed inside of me, some of my seed spilled on the floor.
I left the room and went to my barracks and cried for hours. I felt worthless and dirty.
Over the next couple of years, I ended up allowing myself to be sodomized because I felt like I deserved punishment. This happened over and over and over, with numerous men, until I felt like I was going insane.
I eventually was saved, and my sins have been washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ, but if I would have simply said "No way, homer!" to that injun doctor, all of that wouldn't have been necessary.
Sorry for the long reply, but I feel that my sordid story might help.
Yours in Christ,
Zechariah Smyth
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 06:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Sister Mary, thank you for bringing up this most uncomfortable subject. It needs to be brought into the open so that when someone is confronted with it they can be prepared.
It has given me the strength to publicly relate my prostate experience.
CAUTION!!!
My story is even more graphic and humiliating than Mr. Whitford's. It ends well, but only after a long and hard time in the darkness. If detailed descriptions of sodomy and ejaculation turn your stomach, I beg you to stop reading now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
After proudly serving my country for almost 9 years, I was scheduled to be discharged and had to go for what they call a "separation physical" at the base hospital.
Everything was going fine: stick out your tongue, breathe deeply, take some blood, put the balloon around your arm, etc. etc. It was really a quite pleasant experience, going from office to office and having each doctor perform his specialty.
I'm not generally one to go to doctors, preferring to let prayer answer any medical needs I require, but I had my orders and they seemed to be having a nice time, so I went along with it. What's the harm, right?
And then I came to the last door.
I walked in, and there was a swarthy fellow with a weird smile on his face. I could tell from his name tag that he was an injun (the dot kind, not the scalping kind). I had heard stories about their sodomite ways, but I had assumed that the US military weeded those "men" out (this was during the presidency of the great George H.W. Bush, before all that namby-pamby "don't ask don't tell" nonsense from Slick Willie).
He told me to lean over a table and pull down my pants. I was very scared, but he was an officer and I was enlisted and, well, you do what you're told.
Suddenly it felt like I was being split apart. I found out later that they only use their finger, but it felt like someone had shoved a half gallon jug of milk up my bottom.
But it gets worse: when he pushed inside of me, some of my seed spilled on the floor.
I left the room and went to my barracks and cried for hours. I felt worthless and dirty.
Over the next couple of years, I ended up allowing myself to be sodomized because I felt like I deserved punishment. This happened over and over and over, with numerous men, until I felt like I was going insane.
I eventually was saved, and my sins have been washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ, but if I would have simply said "No way, homer!" to that injun doctor, all of that wouldn't have been necessary.
Sorry for the long reply, but I feel that my sordid story might help.
Yours in Christ,
Zechariah Smyth
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Secular science almost ruined another fine Christian. Thanks to the Lord for intervening in your behalf and removing you from that road that leads to Sodom. Thank you for sharing that terrible time in your life. Hearing of your time of degradation and vile 'deathstyle' makes me feel all the more, A True Christian™Believer.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 07:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
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This is horrifying! I'd like to let this doctor know what a filthy thing he's done for your husband! Send me his name and address immediately! He's a bad doctor! A BAD Doctor!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Over the next couple of years, I ended up allowing myself to be sodomized because I felt like I deserved punishment.
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My poor young boy, you may have deserved punishment indeed, but I believe that punishment should have been delivered only by a True Christian™ who understands how angry and vengeful God can be when He hates someone (even "doctors" and their willing patients).
Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
I'll be in your neighborhood over the next few weeks and will be sure to stop by for some one on one time to talk about everything you experienced in painful detail. Praise God!
Glistening In His Holy Blood Of Salvation,
Harry Lester
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-06-2011, 09:58 PM
Atheists will come up with any bogus reason they can to violate another man's anus. Now they have redefined anal sex as "medicine". What is next? Murder will be "exercise" and stealing will be "accounting"?
What if the man has an org*sm from having his anus fingered? Then the doctor is guilty of genocide from all the partial birth abortions coming out of the man's p*nis! I'll bet this is the real plan behind theier liberal plot.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-09-2011, 05:33 PM
Prostrate exam, huh try this Virtual Colonoscopy Video Cartoon | www.FieldHealth.com
When I turned 40 my wife( I knew that bitch had it in for me) at the time scheduled me for a complete physical. Sure at first the exam was normal, drop your pants, cough, we need blood etc. Then the Doctor had me lay down on a table, he then shoved 3 or 4 feet of TV camera up my back side. What the hell kind of pervert shoves a camera up your ass, records it on a machine and then watches the reruns? And to top it off he said Mr Dewitt, trust me, this bothers me more than it does you! YEA right let me stick a damn camera up your ass and tell me it dont bother you!
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-09-2011, 08:39 PM
So let me get this straight; you now have to be a homer to get a license practicing medicine? There is no other explanation for wanting to stick your finger...in that place.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-09-2011, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Prostrate exam, huh try this Virtual Colonoscopy Video Cartoon | www.FieldHealth.com
When I turned 40 my wife( I knew that bitch had it in for me) at the time scheduled me for a complete physical. Sure at first the exam was normal, drop your pants, cough, we need blood etc. Then the Doctor had me lay down on a table, he then shoved 3 or 4 feet of TV camera up my back side. What the hell kind of pervert shoves a camera up your ass, records it on a machine and then watches the reruns? And to top it off he said Mr Dewitt, trust me, this bothers me more than it does you! YEA right let me stick a damn camera up your ass and tell me it dont bother you!
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Brother, May I say in all truthfulness ''I feel your pain''. As you get older they want to get new pictures of your rectum more often. I am beginning to wonder if this sadist of a homer/ doctor is putting together a scrapbook to be shared at my funeral! !st they tell you to be retested in 10 yrs at 50 then they say you need checked every 5 yrs and at 60 , every year... what can they see up there? This is the thought that brought on the realization that many strange things must have been found laying up some deviants backside.After finding the odd wrist watch or college ring the Doctors must get hardened to the discomfort of others during the exam. I mean the doctor might have actually been attacked by some sort of rodent, I have heard rumors of disgusting acts involving gerbils. You will have to excuse me now, I have just vomited a little bit into my mouth. the horror!
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-09-2011, 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Brother, May I say in all truthfulness ''I feel your pain''. As you get older they want to get new pictures of your rectum more often. I am beginning to wonder if this sadist of a homer/ doctor is putting together a scrapbook to be shared at my funeral! !st they tell you to be retested in 10 yrs at 50 then they say you need checked every 5 yrs and at 60 , every year...what can they see up there? This is the thought that brought on the realization that many strange things must have been found laying up some deviants backside.After finding the odd wrist watch or college ring the Doctors must get hardened to the discomfort of others during the exam. I mean the doctor might have actually been attacked by some sort of rodent, I have heard rumors of disgusting acts involving gerbils. You will have to excuse me now, I have just vomited a little bit into my mouth. the horror!
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I am not going back again. NEVER. What kind of sick demented mind thought up this crap? What would possess a person to come up with the idea of shoving a camera up a mans butt?
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-15-2011, 04:15 PM
This is awful! I fear for my private areas when I get older!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-16-2011, 07:46 AM
Do to my age I was told I had to have this done. I won't go into the horrific details but while he was doing it he said to me "don't worry Mr O'fagan, it is totally normal to get an erection during this procedure". I said " I haven't got an erection!", he turned round slowly to me and said "no, but I have".
Beware!
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-16-2011, 09:47 PM
I am thinking of getting a bi-annual prostate exam from now on. The montly exams I've been having for the past eight years have not detected anything other than a particular sensitivity to Peabo Bryson hits from the early 80s, and it's a nuisance to drive all the way to Minneapolis every month.
I sure hate to disappoint my proctologist, though.
He's one of the best in the business.... Yes.... he's very, very good.
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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-16-2011, 09:56 PM
Holy Jesus. I will never have that done to me ever. Good Lord...I am looking for a video now so I can learn to recognize a proctotologist. If they are all black like that swarthy buck posted earlier then it will be easy to spot them. Probably sniffing their fingers like perverts. They cant see the poo but they know its there.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Unsaved trash, depraved drag queen
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-17-2011, 01:09 AM
All the men who have allowed doctors to violate them like this are Homers!
Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 9
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-18-2011, 02:39 AM
Totally on your side Baptist brothers!!
I recently shared a similar experience with my secular 'doctor'. However, when he put his finger up my rectum... I found that I quite enjoyed it. I even called him after to set up another appointment so that I could experience the feeling again.
I'm so confused, since God loves everyone, shouldn't he love me even though I like it up the anus .
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-18-2011, 10:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by incapableofthought
Totally on your side Baptist brothers!!
I recently shared a similar experience with my secular 'doctor'. However, when he put his finger up my rectum... I found that I quite enjoyed it. I even called him after to set up another appointment so that I could experience the feeling again.
I'm so confused, since God loves everyone, shouldn't he love me even though I like it up the anus .
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You sir are a sick, sick, sick bastard. God hates Homers! The only thing I felt other that his fat sausage like fingers, was violated.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
03-19-2011, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
I am thinking of getting a bi-annual prostate exam from now on. The montly exams I've been having for the past eight years have not detected anything other than a particular sensitivity to Peabo Bryson hits from the early 80s, and it's a nuisance to drive all the way to Minneapolis every month.
I sure hate to disappoint my proctologist, though.
He's one of the best in the business.... Yes.... he's very, very good.
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Does he do housecalls, Monty?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
04-04-2011, 03:30 PM
Ok. Now I'm in panic. I have a little operation soon, self inflicted sports injury must be fixed. Nothing serious but...I need to be anesthetize for hour or so. The problem here is that you don't have Christian hospitals or known Christian doctors. So I'm having the operation done in hospital specialized in sports injuries.
If the secular doctors are that pervert, how do I know that I wouldn't be sodomized while sleeping.
Is there chastity belt usable for backside? I think I need to get something like that
Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
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Unsaved trash, repulsive gypsy scum
Under Investigation
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Location: picking your pocket
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Re: Attention Men: Do NOT get a prostate exam! -
08-03-2011, 03:45 AM
i believe someone can die of prostate cancer. I had an uncle who did
So when the doctor checks men's prostate (as homo as it sounds) its slightly beneficial in case they were to find cancer they could remove it as soon as possible and save his life.
Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.
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