Thanksgiving, if it's Thursday
Crusade day! Read on to see why.
Feast of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal - if you'e a Catholic who can afford food, which most can't due to spending their meagre incomes on Catholic bling bling. Jesus said "ask and ye shall recieve", but Catholics aren't praying to Jesus.
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The kid is probably a Catholic, but he's not the one feasting today.
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NOVEMBER 27th IN HISTORY:
2004 – Pope John Paul II returns the mutilated body parts of Saint John Chrysostom to the Eastern Orthodox Church.
2001 - Hubble Space Telescope ScINentists claim to have detected an atmosphere on an extrasolar planet. However,
stars are just lights in the firmament, contrary to the lies of Copernicus. Meanwhile fierce fighting continues in Afganistan - Happy Crusade Day!
1983 – A Colombian Boeing 747 crashes near Madrid's Barajas Airport, killing 181 Catholics who go straight to HELL. The plane was probably overweight due to being overloaded with
cocaine, which is legal in Iberia.
1981 - The British Phonographic Industry places advertisements in the British press stating that
"Home taping is wiping out music."
1978 – In San Francisco, California, city mayor George Moscone and openly gay city supervisor
Harvey Milk are executed by Biblical-Law practitioner Dan White. Happy Crusade Day!
1965 – The Pentagon tells U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson that the number of American troops in Vietnam has to be increased from 120,000 to 400,000. Not true. Who needs 400,000 troops when 400,000 megatons of American ingenuity can do the job faster?
Blam! Right on Ho Chi Minn City!
1953 - English Christian apologist C.S. Lewis wrote in a letter:
'Anxiety is not only a pain which we must ask God to assuage but also a weakness we must ask Him to pardon -- for He's told us to take no care for the morrow.' Got that, cowards? Get begging God for forgiveness!
1950 - American missionary martyr Jim Elliot wrote in his journal: '
What gets me into the Kingdom, from Christ's own statement, is not saying "Lord, Lord," but acting "Lord, Lord."
1942 - Spawning of Jimi Hendrix, devil rocker and homosexual "
excuse me while I kiss this guy".
1940 – Romania's conservative political party, called the Iron Guard, arrests and pacifies over 60 commies, including former minister Nicolae Iorga.
1924 – In New York City, the first Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade is held. How low parades have fallen. THIS is what a parade is supposed to look like:
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A Roman triumph, in which a blood-soaked general marches his newly-aquired French slaves though town in chains. THIS is the proper way to celebrate Crusade day. Not an inflated cartoon character in sight.
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1900 - Philippines: US troops coax information from Filipino town president by
forcing salt water down his throat from 100-gallon tank, to protect US interests. Holy bling day didn't save this Catholic.
1830 – St. Catherine Laboure has a hallusination of The Blessed Virgin standing on a globe, [Which is unbiblical,
the Earth is not round] crushing the feet of a serpent [though serpents don't have feet], and eminating rays of light from her hands.
Pope Benedict XIV said her prophecies were "
filled with errors", but agrees with her main "message from God": God wants catholics to wear more bling-bling.
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The Miraculous Medal. I've seen rappers wearing more tastefull jewlery than this. "War, disease, starvation, crime....Forgeddabout it - the real problem is not enough bling bling!" - Catholic's imaginary god
I guess God also told you to have a bling-covered coffin where everybody could oogle your corpse, right Cathy?
Named after her is the Canadian city of St. Catherines, hometown of psycho killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka.
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1817 - Soldiers attack Florida Indian village, beginning the Seminole War. Happy Crusade Day!
1095: In France, Pope Urban II proclaims the First
Crusade at the Council of Clermont. Talk about prophesy - he knew about Saddams WMD 900 years before anyone else.
DAMNED TO HELL ON NOVEMBER 27th:
1978 – Harvey Milk and George Moscone, San Fransico politicians/homos.
1894 - Johanna von Puttkamer, wife of Otto Von Bismarck. She must have been the one who
invented Social Security in 1881, which has resulted in Germany being impoverished ever since.
1884 - Adolph Wilhelm Hermann Kolbe, chemist who invented a key part of Asprin, which is used by women to defy God's commandment that they live and bear children in pain:
Genesis 3:16: Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee
1680 – Athanasius Kircher, founder of
germunism. "There's armies of monsters, conviently too small to see, that invade your body, hijack it, and turn it into a factory for more tiny monsters (that are conviently too small to see)"...Yeah right. If God wanted us to behave according to the Germ Theory of disease He would tell us to in the Bible. Yet Jesus and his disciples didn't even wash his hands before eating:
Then came together unto him the Pharisees...when they saw some of his disciples eat bread with defiled, that is to say, with unwashen, hands, they found fault. - Mark 7:1-2
8 BC – Horace, poet, deserted in battle. Double hellbound.
ASCENDED TO HEAVEN ON NOVEMBER 27th:
2007 – Robert Cade, inventor of Gatorade, the drink that lets us all be athletes without having to work up a sweat like some kind of negro.