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  • #1

    Easter is about Jesus. Period

    Welcome to Easter is about Jesus - Dammit! A seasonal forum where Jesus' favorite followers (us of course!) can help preserve the true meaning of Easter. ENTHUSIASTIC MOTHER GLENDORA

    PS No bunnies allowed and this forum will close soon after the anniversary of HIS resurrection.
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    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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  • #2
    Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

    Here I am, Mother Glynndie, FRONT AND CENTER!!!!!

    But, JESUS! we won't have to sit around and talk about the Bible or anything, though, will we? I am much too busy coordinating my EASTER ENSEMBLE

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    • #3
      Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

      GLORY!!!!!!!

      HAPPY EASTER DAMMIT!!!
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      Tweet me Here
      My GODLY Bio Here

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      • #4
        Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

        What about the Bells of Rome?

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        • #5
          Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

          Originally posted by Apollyon View Post
          What about the Bells of Rome?
          Rome is filled with gypsy pickpockets and mary-worshiping papist paedophiles, so whatever bells they ring hold no meaning for any True Christian™.

          To me, Easter is the time to celebrate and remember how our Saviour suffered unspeakable temporary pain, died a temporary death, then arose on the third day having miraculously washed away all of our sins*. We cannot thank Him enough for that. It is literally impossible.







          *Certain conditions apply, see the fine print of the Holy KJV1611 Bible for complete details. No Saviours were actually harmed in the redemption of your soul, as being God Almighty would neccessarily mitigate any pain or destruction of flesh.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #6
            Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

            Don't forget, Jesus didn't hippity hop down any bunny trails when He temporarily died for our sins. He was tortured by the Pagan proto Wiccan Romans and sent to His Glorious fate by the filthy Jews who chose a scabrous criminal over our Lord and Saviour. He didn't hang on the Cross of Calvary so kids could frolic on lawns and mock Him with colorful eggs and Chinese candies.

            Easter is serious business so stifle the fun factory and get back to appreciating Jesus.
            God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

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            • #7
              Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

              Originally posted by Marshall View Post
              He was tortured by the Pagan proto Wiccan Romans
              I wonder if the Romans thought to themselves...

              "man, this seems a lot like mithras"

              V
              Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

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              • #8
                Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                Originally posted by Brother V View Post
                I wonder if the Romans thought to themselves...

                "man, this seems a lot like mithras"

                V
                Deja vu, eh?

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                • #9
                  Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                  So what about Christian bunnies?
                  Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten

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                  • #10
                    Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                    Originally posted by Jack View Post
                    So what about Christian bunnies?
                    Show us one.

                    And show us where Jesus had anything to do with bunnies.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                      Look here Jack(if thats your real name),
                      Jesus didn't like silly rabbits. He died temporarily on a Roman torture cross for our sins! It took a long time for Him to seemingly die too. It's not like He was waterboarded by the CIA, He really suffered. The least you could do is show some appreciation by not mocking His ordeal with bunnies and boiled eggs.
                      I'm offended by the way the mainstream uses Easter as a greeting card holiday.
                      God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                        What if you made a chocolate crucifix and ate that on Easter?

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                          Originally posted by bornagainagnostic View Post
                          What if you made a chocolate crucifix and ate that on Easter?
                          What if you just Let Go and Let God!

                          With those colors and your choice of the 'Crucifix' Smiley, you just might be off to a good start here!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                            Originally posted by bornagainagnostic View Post
                            What if you made a chocolate crucifix and ate that on Easter?
                            You'd be considerably less blasphemous than the average Papist, that's what.
                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Welcome to Easter is About Jesus - Dammit!

                              Originally posted by bornagainagnostic View Post
                              What if you made a chocolate crucifix and ate that on Easter?
                              YUM!!

                              Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                              Show us one.
                              And show us where Jesus had anything to do with bunnies.
                              The Easter bunny is a religious mascot, it doesn't have to have anything to do with Jesus.

                              Originally posted by Marshall View Post
                              Don't forget, Jesus didn't hippity hop down any bunny trails when He temporarily died for our sins. He was tortured by the Pagan proto Wiccan Romans and sent to His Glorious fate by the filthy Jews who chose a scabrous criminal over our Lord and Saviour. He didn't hang on the Cross of Calvary so kids could frolic on lawns and mock Him with colorful eggs and Chinese candies.

                              Easter is serious business so stifle the fun factory and get back to appreciating Jesus.
                              The jokes you make about Jesus 'hopping' like the Easter bunny AREN'T funny. Easter is not just some kind of 'fun factory'. Grow up.

                              Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                              Welcome to Easter is about Jesus - Dammit! A seasonal forum where Jesus' favorite followers (us of course!) can help preserve the true meaning of Easter. ENTHUSIASTIC MOTHER GLENDORA

                              PS No bunnies allowed and this forum will close soon after the anniversary of HIS resurrection.
                              What about freedom for all bunnies?
                              Nobunny loves me right now.

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