[Pastor Ezekiel]

GLORY TO PRESIDENT TRUMP! The Nation is celebrating. Refreshments at the Flint Mansion Reception Hall all weekend!

This is a new era for Landover Baptist Church. We're the fastest-growing congregation in the US and soon in the World and under our influence Donnie will hasten the second coming by decades. Deer hunting starts at 2 pm.





SHOUT GLORY!!!!

[handmaiden]

Yay, glory!






Immeasurably Enthusiastically Yours,
Handmaiden

[Johny Joe Hold]

You are too modest, Pastor Zeke. This moment has come to us all because of your hard work. You were with President Trump through the entire election. You advised him to stay close to his True Christian™ friends and ride it to victory.

Now we can all bask in the spotlight of his victory. His inauguration speech we terrific--I'm guessing you had input. I like the way he keeps telling us "White America First" by using the clever code words "America First".

[BrotherLarry]

Not to be questioning things I shouldn't, of course, but if Pastor had so much to do with this, why was he not asked to pray at the ceremony? Why did I not see him on the dais with other VIPs?


Frankly, does President Trump (may his name be forever enshrined in the annals of heroism) even know who you are, Pastor?


BrotherLarry


YES, BROTHER LARRY - NOT THE HORSE GUY. Santa's on my side.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

North Korean hackers can confirm that this will be Trump's official presidential portrait.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un

...North Korean hackers...

Have "mastered" MS Paint. Hear the world tremble.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Have "mastered" MS Paint. Hear the world tremble.

Don't worry. We will only use force against America if threatened.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

You are too modest, Pastor Zeke. This moment has come to us all because of your hard work. You were with President Trump through the entire election. You advised him to stay close to his True Christian™ friends and ride it to victory.

Now we can all bask in the spotlight of his victory. His inauguration speech we terrific--I'm guessing you had input. I like the way he keeps telling us "White America First" by using the clever code words "America First".

You're so right, Mayor! Donnie played his part very well but sometimes, when the situation calls, someone with more gumption has to step up and lead the action to obtain the result we wanted!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by The Horse Guy

Not to be questioning things I shouldn't, of course, but if Pastor had so much to do with this, why was he not asked to pray at the ceremony? Why did I not see him on the dais with other VIPs?

Frankly, does President Trump (may his name be forever enshrined in the annals of heroism) even know who you are, Pastor?

BrotherLarry

YES, BROTHER LARRY - NOT THE HORSE GUY. Santa's on my side.

OK, hold your horses. You're used to shoveling dung, aren't you? I need my septic tank scrubbed clean pronto! You can take Faith Machine with you if you need a helping hand. The (excellent) chili and the dozens of guests left my septic tank filled to the brim, and I'm expecting you asap.

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

Have "mastered" MS Paint. Hear the world tremble.

Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un

Don't worry. We will only use force against America if threatened.

After me and Donnie get going, you two godmockers will be good only as more fuel for the HELLFIRE!

[handmaiden]

BrotherLarry, I'm sure that there was a good and godly reason why Pastor Zeke wasn't seen at the ceremony in which his supportive, moral presence was surely felt.(Dude, seriously, be careful. I'd rather cross the guy with the nuclear football than cross Pastor Zeke.)

Pastor Zeke, I'm sure that BrotherLarry would LOVE to perform any chores you assign to him, but he's in New York, working out the details that will grant him residence in Freehold. Once re-located, I am SURE that he would be happy to swing by your place to tidy up the septic tank, clip a few hedges and spread manure in your rose garden, which he will provide, FREE of charge, from his own stables.


Isn't right, BrotherLarry? (Please work with me here, okay?)


If you give the go ahead, BrotherLarry will be settled in Freehold and providing you with access to his stallions before you can say neigh, which I implore you not to do. New York is very bad for his spiritual health, and I know that his trust fund (cough, cough) will also enjoy the weather better in a reputable (cough, again) Freehold financial institution.


Matthew 5:9
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.


Non-collatrally Damaged Yours,



Handmaiden

[BrotherLarry]

First of all, my profession as an equine gnathologist does not include mucking stables or cleaning up after drunken parties that are clearly contrary to God's divine order.

Second, Sister Handmaiden, I ain't fraid of no Zeke.

Third, if Cookie was still around, I'd be strutting down Paul Crouch Boulevard and dancing at the corner of Ecclesiastes and Galatians right now. But certain people know of her fate and the investigation seems to be going nowhere despite what I imagine is a terrible imprisonment and unspeakable assaultage on her person day by day. Only God knows what MACHINES are being used against her. I pray she doesn't lose her FAITH.

The LORD called me to be an assistant assistant to the assistant pastors of Landover, and I will donate my entire trust fund to such a calling in due time - you just wait and see. Even that vile, arrogant Didymus Much believes that I can handle that important job as he once told me that I have the right stuff to be a part of LBC. I don't know what he meant by a lack of moral sensibility, but his compliment overshadowed that. I think.

GLORY TO GOD!!!!!!! His will be done!
PRAISE GOD FOR OUR NEW LEADER IN CHIEF, DONALD TRUMP (May his name be permanently tattooed upon my manly bosom) !

[BrotherLarry]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ:

A member of the LBC legal team just stopped by a few moments ago and while I am in no way being forced to write this, I freely and without any duress offer the following:

1. Were I in Freehold, I would gladly clean up after the esteemed pastor and do his bidding far into the night without any reservation or complaint whatsoever as a servant of the living GOD.
2. I am increasing my tithe to LBC and pledge to take on a job so that not only my trust fund, but my earnings are a part of my tithe. I plan to also submit special love offerings on a biweekly basis for the greater use of the Church.
3. I am certain the investigation into the disappearance of Mistress Cookie was handled with the greatest of expertise and that if any wrong doing was suspected, it would be handled with the utmost dispatch and care.
4. I in no way implied that any member or former member of LBC should be suspected in the disappearance of Mistress Cookie. Her mental instability likely drove her to run away and had nothing to do with anyone's faith or their machines.
5. My chances of becoming a part of the Landover ministry team are good if I continue to meet the financial requirements and follow the LORD GOD in all His ways. I understand that regular proof of my dedication to the teachings of the faith will be required and that my ministry can be revoked at any time.
Again, all of this is said freely and without any force whatsoever,
Humbly,
BrotherLarry

[Pastor Ezekiel]

A reminder for the sinners of the pivotal role our Church played in the election of Donnie. He ows us Big Time, and some Big Money that will be spent to bring Jesus even to the most remote parts of the Pacific Islands, the Caribbean and the Bahamas. I'm going to attend personally to these new missions of evangelizing.



Meanwhile, my septic tank is overflowing and you're bickering here. Get to work, people, there are souls to be saved and my tank to be scrubbed!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Here is what can happen with a free press. Articles with fake news can be published as if they are real news. Today an atheist psychologist claims the President has a mental disease which makes him think he is the victim. This quack does realize President Trump IS the victim. That is why he is rounding up Muslims at our airports--to keep them from attacking him.


Malignant Narcissists will go to great lengths to achieve their aim. They can be intelligent, high functioning (hold an important job for example) soft-spoken, charming, tearful/seemingly emotional, gracious, well mannered, kind and have the ability to form relationships. They may lie, falsely accuse, dramatize, smear, cheat, steal, manipulate, accuse, blame or twist to get what they want and feel justified in doing so. Because they are entitled, egocentric and desperate, they do not experience it as wrong. They are determined to gratify their wishes and furious if thwarted. Their desire can be so consuming that there is little comprehension of, respect for or ability to empathize with the other. They lack guilt or remorse and tend to feel or pronounce that it is they who have been mistreated.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Malignant Narcissists will go to great lengths to achieve their aim. They can be intelligent, high functioning (hold an important job for example) soft-spoken, charming, tearful/seemingly emotional, gracious, well mannered, kind and have the ability to form relationships. They may lie, falsely accuse, dramatize, smear, cheat, steal, manipulate, accuse, blame or twist to get what they want and feel justified in doing so. Because they are entitled, egocentric and desperate, they do not experience it as wrong. They are determined to gratify their wishes and furious if thwarted. Their desire can be so consuming that there is little comprehension of, respect for or ability to empathize with the other. They lack guilt or remorse and tend to feel or pronounce that it is they who have been mistreated.

Labels can skew our perception, making seem something good as if it were bad. He (maliciously) says "malignant narcissist," I (righteously) say "successful businessman."

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Labels can skew our perception, making seem something good as if it were bad. He (maliciously) says "malignant narcissist," I (righteously) say "successful businessman."

Successful businessman, good observation Sister Basilissa. Another accurate term would be, "strong leader." We need to use words that best fit our wonderful President. The atheist left will be making up their own words.