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Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 04:45 AM
Could a mod move this to the right forum. Not sure where to post this but I thought this was the right place.
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . .
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 05:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
Could a mod move this to the right forum. Not sure where to post this but I thought this was the right place.
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve . .
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."
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This is not only the wrong thread, but you are the wrong gender. This post is offensive and insulting to every Man on earth. Have you gone feminazi on us?
Warning points have been awarded.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 05:36 AM
Quote:
This is not only the wrong thread, but you are the wrong gender. This post is offensive and insulting to every Man on earth. Have you gone feminazi on us?
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But how many times can a women be insulted?? Just curious as George. It is true and you know it. God created you like that. That is why God saw you needed a helper. That would be us. How can you argue that?
< waiting for the 10 thousand verses that will be thrown at the godly women. Off to hide and may never come back.
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 09:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
This is not only the wrong thread, but you are the wrong gender. This post is offensive and insulting to every Man on earth. Have you gone feminazi on us?
Warning points have been awarded.
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This is indeed revolting and offensive, Pastor. I myself wondered for many years where women were picking up this stuff. I found out one time when I had to venture into a supermarket to pick up some groceries. Amongst the tabloids touting alien abduction in the checkout lines are numerous "women's" magazines that have these "cutesy" little articles on how to win your man and promote vain attempts raise the status of women (glorying what amounts to squaw work, if you ask me). There is no doubt that it is out and out heresy and an abomination to the Baby Jesus. Where are the Gideons when we really need them? Supermarket checkout lanes should be lined with Chick Tracts and Bibles (KJV1611). "Women's" magazines should have quotes from the Bible on their covers reminding their idle minds of their proper duties.
This is all not to mention that the Opera show needs to be banned. That vile negress has done more damage to our country than I care to discuss.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 10:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
Could a mod move this to the right forum. Not sure where to post this but I thought this was the right place.
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I believe the right place would be "deleted posts." Although it does raise an interesting question - did Adam and Eve mate in the Garden of Eden? Since they were without sin, it seems unlikely that they'd have engaged in anything as messy and sticky as fornication, but on the other hand, what else are women good for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
This is indeed revolting and offensive, Pastor. I myself wondered for many years where women were picking up this stuff. I found out one time when I had to venture into a supermarket to pick up some groceries. Amongst the tabloids touting alien abduction in the checkout lines are numerous "women's" magazines that have these "cutesy" little articles on how to win your man and promote vain attempts raise the status of women (glorying what amounts to squaw work, if you ask me). There is no doubt that it is out and out heresy and an abomination to the Baby Jesus. Where are the Gideons when we really need them? Supermarket checkout lanes should be lined with Chick Tracts and Bibles (KJV1611). "Women's" magazines should have quotes from the Bible on their covers reminding their idle minds of their proper duties.
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And blue ribbons on their corners!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 11:54 AM
How did this confused young man become a member?
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 12:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
< waiting for the 10 thousand verses that will be thrown at the godly women. Off to hide and may never come back.
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I wonder what you would know about being a Godly woman, especially now that you're quoting recruitment brochures from the man-hating lezbertarians, and in the men's forum yet.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Liebral Girlie-Man
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 03:48 PM
That's pretty funny, Seeker. I'll have to tell that one at the next meeting of our local chapter of the National Organization of Men Against Sexism. BTW, I'm also involved in White Men Challenging Racism.
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True Christian™
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-01-2007, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick
How did this confused young man become a member?
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(pssst! Andrew! I think she's a woman, says she bakes Godly pies for her hubby and takes care of the children!)
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-02-2007, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren Ingram-Myers
That's pretty funny, Seeker. I'll have to tell that one at the next meeting of our local chapter of the National Organization of Men Against Sexism. BTW, I'm also involved in White Men Challenging Racism.
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You revolting pantywaist hippie! Stay out of this thread! This is for Men, not semi-fags.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-02-2007, 03:14 AM
Quote:
I believe the right place would be "deleted posts." Although it does raise an interesting question - did Adam and Eve mate in the Garden of Eden? Since they were without sin, it seems unlikely that they'd have engaged in anything as messy and sticky as fornication, but on the other hand, what else are women good for?
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It was not fornication, don't ya know. They had a real ceremony with a real preacher, they had to pay taxes and they had 2 witnesses, claimed self-employed for living off the land and they became one. Duh.
Just a FYI - humans don't mate. We are not animals!
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-02-2007, 03:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick
How did this confused young man become a member?
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How can I find a pair of those glasses? Sexy.
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-02-2007, 09:55 PM
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."
God had two of everything else. The women of today are only as good as they are today because God gave them a good foundation, using part of Adam, from which to build on.
Anything you make is better if you start with the best material. God tried to duplicate his first effort and failed. And the women know this. Thats why you get this rubbish from women, there all jellouse that they were not made by God to be men.
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-03-2007, 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lord warrior
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."
God had two of everything else. The women of today are only as good as they are today because God gave them a good foundation, using part of Adam, from which to build on.
Anything you make is better if you start with the best material. God tried to duplicate his first effort and failed. And the women know this. Thats why you get this rubbish from women, there all jellouse that they were not made by God to be men.
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Yes, you must be right. I am jealous to be cursed to be at home with the kids eatin bon bon's, watching Dr.Phil and Oprah(with a little MTV thrown in) everyday with a garage sell going on -while I have a steak on the grill and laundry done and ironed and the you're own pee wiped off the toilet seat. Daily. And you slay 40 plus hours bringing home nothin. But fatty bacon that we can fry it up in a pan and never let you forget that I am woman!
Was that not a perfume commercial?
So don't bitch when I give money to dead Dr. Atkins..
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-03-2007, 01:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
Yes, you must be right. I am jealous to be cursed to be at home with the kids eatin bon bon's, watching Dr.Phil and Oprah(with a little MTV thrown in) everyday with a garage sell going on -while I have a steak on the grill and laundry done and ironed and the you're own pee wiped off the toilet seat. Daily. And you slay 40 plus hours bringing home nothin. But fatty bacon that we can fry it up in a pan and never let you forget that I am woman!
Was that not a perfume commercial?
So don't bitch when I give money to dead Dr. Atkins..
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This is why women shouldn't be allowed to attempt to communicate with anyone, with the possible exception of their husbands. It's like watching an African trying to do math - just unnatural and pitiful.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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True Christian™ Theologian
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
11-04-2007, 02:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren Ingram-Myers
National Organization of Men Against Sexism. BTW, I'm also involved in White Men Challenging Racism.
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Take your self-loathing elsewhere.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
12-25-2007, 02:12 AM
I so hope that the titles given to the supposed "pastors" of this furom are a really lame attempt at a joke. Most of the pastors and moderation staff are some of the most Unchristian people imaginable. I am starting to wonder if this site is a cover for a hate group.
I so look forward to seeing this "congregation" in HELL. I'll be the one looking down at you with pity from Heaven.
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True Christian™
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
12-25-2007, 10:45 AM
Quote:
I so hope that the titles given to the supposed "pastors" of this furom are a really lame attempt at a joke. Most of the pastors and moderation staff are some of the most Unchristian people imaginable. I am starting to wonder if this site is a cover for a hate group.
I so look forward to seeing this "congregation" in HELL. I'll be the one looking down at you with pity from Heaven.
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What an intolerant thing to say on a Christian forum. And on our Lord's birthday no less!
Now a serious question for y'all, honey. Is your username correct, are you indeed someone born out of wedlock? If that's the case, honey, I'm afraid y'all won't be going to heaven, nor your children, nor theirs until the tenth generation, and that's if none of those are born out of marriage.
God don't like bastard children. No bastard children are allowed in heaven.
Deuteronomy 23 2A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
The Lord says y'all are definitely on your way to hell if you really are illegitimate, honey.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
12-25-2007, 02:56 PM
The OP's list sounds like something you would write about Homer Simpson, family Guy Peter, or any other cartoon father who is made to be an idiot and an ass while the wife is the only competent parent and is there to save or protect her husband.
This kind of message really ticks me off. Children watch cartoons that send this message, and they're taught by watching to disrespect their fathers.
Make sure you screen your children's programming to make sure that they only have shows which promote a healthy family which is lead by a good strong husband, like, well, I'm not sure that there are any.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Top 10 wonderful reasons for EVE -
12-26-2007, 02:42 AM
Not everyone who watches those sorts of cartoons disrespects their parents. I have a healthy respect for both of my parents, despite the fact that they never moderate what I watch on TV or in movies.
Why would they need to anyway? I'm 17, I'm responsible enough.....sheesh..
"A she-goff who claims to not be a witch is the worst kind of contradiction."
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