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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 07:23 PM
Edit: MEN ONLY!
My wife is ready to be impregnated again (she had another miscarriage - d*** filipinos and their murderous skinny hips) but I'm having trouble getting heat. With this in mind from the book of Kings:
1:1 Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat
1:2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 1:3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king.
Anyone have photos or video that can help? I've been using this picture of some good christian maidens:
I gives me enough heat to penetrate, but her d*** filipino cooter is too tight, spitting me out the moment I lose concentration.
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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-11-2009 at 05:10 PM.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 07:29 PM
No offense Brother.... but I found this thread repulsive!
You should have put a warning in the title.
Just curious and you don't have to answer me..... but why on GOD'S green Earth do you want to ruin your White like JESUS genes by having children with some yellow skinned, slant eyed gook? They will certainly look more like little gooks than GODLY white people.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 07:38 PM
Yeah, I thought you might need a new electric blanket, but it seems you need more help than that!!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
My wife is ready to be impregnated again (she had another miscarriage - damn filipinos and their murderous skinny hips) but I'm having trouble getting heat. With this in mind from the book of Kings:
1:1 Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat
1:2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. 1:3 So they sought for a fair damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a Shunammite, and brought her to the king.
Anyone have photos or video that can help? I've been using this picture of some good christian maidens:
I gives me enough heat to penetrate, but her damn filipino cunt is too tight, spitting me out the moment I lose concentration.
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Filipino cooter may too narrow for a TRUE CHRISTIAN like yourself to swive.
Remember Joshua 17:15
"And Joshua answered them, If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if mount Ephraim be too narrow for thee"
LET US PRAY TO JESUS!
Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 12-15-2007 at 03:30 AM.
Reason: obscenity edited
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 08:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
No offense Brother.... but I found this thread repulsive!
You should have put a warning in the title.
Just curious and you don't have to answer me..... but why on GOD'S green Earth do you want to ruin your White like JESUS genes by having children with some yellow skinned, slant eyed gook? They will certainly look more like little gooks than GODLY white people.
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Yes Jeb, this seems pretty racists what you are trying to do.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Anvil of the Antipodes
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Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 08:15 PM
I suggest you take a look at this site...
marryourdaughter.com
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
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Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 10:05 PM
Every good Christian needs to pack heat. You never know when you're gonna encounter a terrorist.
I don't know why you're having trouble getting heat, or do you live in a fag country like England where they have gun control?
Here in God's country, Texas, just look in the Yellow Pages under "Guns."
If you're looking for concealed heat, I suggest Kahr - they sure do make purdy, easy to conceal heat:
Sorry for posting such pornographic pics, but sometimes I just get all worked up and I gotta let it out.
YIC,
Buford
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 10:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
No offense Brother.... but I found this thread repulsive!
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Sorry, I forgot that women are allowed in this forum. That and I was a a bit, how do I say it, frustrated.
That and the demon eggnog.
I'm going back to edit out all the vile words.
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-14-2007, 11:32 PM
Brother! It's not you who needs more heat but your wife. Without going into the details, I'll let Bethany D. explain the problem, which is commonly found among a certain kind of Christian (I found Bethany's post over at the Welcome to the Marriage Bed Forum, a place I heartily recommend):
Quote:
Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 5:35 pm
Well, I'm not sure WHY it happens like this, mainly just I know that Humans weren't meant for such close intimacy without a commitment first.
my example is this - I was pretty sexually active before I was a Christian, and without being TMI, loved performing OS. When DH and I were dating we tried our BEST to not open sexual doors but there were a few times that we slipped up. One time I can specifically remember when I performed OS on him. Later on I felt convicted and I knew it was wrong. we prayed together, repented, and went on.
But when we were married, that became a block. I, who previously enjoyed performing that act, could not bring myself to do it to my husband. All the sudden, OS felt dirty and demeaning. I didn't know why until 2 years later when I found TMB and realized that it was a direct result of that one time that I did that prior to marriage. Our sex life had so many hindrances due to 1. our sexual activities prior to becoming Christians and 2. the times we slipped up together.
The thing we need to remember is that yes, God forgives our sins but he does not remove the consequences. We've been married almost 3 years now and we still have quite a few hangups to work though which basically have resulted in a pretty "vanilla" sex life.
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I don't want to cast aspersions on your lovely wife, Brother, but perhaps her "slips" before marriage explain her current lack of interest in your Godly needs.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
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Re: I need help getting heat -
12-15-2007, 02:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Yes Jeb, this seems pretty racists what you are trying to do.
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Oh, you're one to talk. I've heard all about the epidemics of jungle fever, desert fever, and even tundra fever that have been sweeping the security detail lately.
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