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Default Young Girl's Question - 09-18-2006, 01:07 AM
I moved this to the parenting forum becuase this poor girl is suffering from some pretty strange parenting! Her letter is below.

Dear Mrs. Christianson, my name is Moonbeam and my parents run an organic goat farm in Iowa Falls. My parents don’t believe in organized religion but they do meditate to the wheat grass we grow. Last week we came to Freehold to the Dairy Queen which was a real treat. When we drove by your church I was amazed by it. I have never seen such a fancy church in my life. I asked Sandlewood (that’s my dad but he makes me call him Sandlewood) about your beautiful church, he told me it was built with money you trick innocent people into giving you. Then Sandlewood told me if God really liked your pastors you wouldn’t have to take money from people because all you’d have to do is ask God for the money and he would give it to you. Is this true?

Lordy! You poor child! Run to the bus stop, get on the bus and go as far away from those parents of yours as you can! I am too shaken to answer your question, perhaps our pastors can.

Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default 09-18-2006, 09:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I moved this to the parenting forum becuase this poor girl is suffering from some pretty strange parenting! Her letter is below.

Dear Mrs. Christianson, my name is Moonbeam and my parents run an organic goat farm in Iowa Falls. My parents don’t believe in organized religion but they do meditate to the wheat grass we grow. Last week we came to Freehold to the Dairy Queen which was a real treat. When we drove by your church I was amazed by it. I have never seen such a fancy church in my life. I asked Sandlewood (that’s my dad but he makes me call him Sandlewood) about your beautiful church, he told me it was built with money you trick innocent people into giving you. Then Sandlewood told me if God really liked your pastors you wouldn’t have to take money from people because all you’d have to do is ask God for the money and he would give it to you. Is this true?

Lordy! You poor child! Run to the bus stop, get on the bus and go as far away from those parents of yours as you can! I am too shaken to answer your question, perhaps our pastors can.
Dear Moonbeam. I hid a dollar bill under the planter by the door of the Freehold DQ. Next time you are there, take it and call security (1-911) from the payphone. Tell them "Sandalwood at the Dairy Queen". We will send someone right over to buy you a chocolate sundae. If the dollar is gone, the call is free anyway.

Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default 09-18-2006, 10:14 AM
Why on earth would you get her a sundae?


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default 09-18-2006, 10:17 AM
So she has something to do while we are 'interrogating' her father. When she wakes up she will be safely ensconced in a beautiful Landover live-in school.

Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default 09-18-2006, 10:19 AM
One sundae? When she wakes.........oh
*Note to self - Do not accept any sundaes from Pastor Al*


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Default 09-18-2006, 10:20 AM
Does your little girl like chocolate?

Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default 09-18-2006, 10:28 AM
*Note to self - never accept babysitting offers from Pastor Al*


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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-16-2006, 03:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Lordy! You poor child! Run to the bus stop, get on the bus and go as far away from those parents of yours as you can! I am too shaken to answer your question, perhaps our pastors can.
Sister Glendora, Pastor Al, did the child come into the fold of Landover?
I pray she did and be freed from those hippy, lyin' minions of Satan. With their hippygrass and smooth tongues. *Spits* I've only been around for a short time and I know that the fine folks of Landover will show her the way. Those sundaes do sound good though.

Isaiah 49:20
The children which thou shalt have, after thou hast lost the other, shall say again in thine ears, The place is too strait for me: give place to me that I may dwell.

Hope she is well and her father and mother.......well we know what will happen to them.

YIC
Hushed

And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-16-2006, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hushed_Agony View Post
Hope she is well and her father and mother.......well we know what will happen to them.

YIC
Hushed

"We know"? I assure you we have no knowledge what so ever about that couple beyond what that dear and recently abandoned child told us.

On a separate and off-topic note; thanks Pastor Zeke for the loan of the wood chipper. As a thank you for the loan I had your wood chipper thoroughly cleaned.


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-16-2006, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
"We know"? I assure you we have no knowledge what so ever about that couple beyond what that dear and recently abandoned child told us.

On a separate and off-topic note; thanks Pastor Zeke for the loan of the wood chipper. As a thank you for the loan I had your wood chipper thoroughly cleaned.

Ahem, Brother Bobby-Joe, apologies, I uh...well you know what I meant...I meant..as far as this childs dastardly, deceitful and non-christian way following parents have, I am sure found their way into forgiveness and made right with our Lord and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST!

YIC
Hushed

And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-16-2006, 06:56 PM
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As a thank you for the loan I had your wood chipper thoroughly cleaned.
To get all the Sandlewood out of it.

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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-17-2006, 09:30 AM
I think I will most assuredly go by the live-in school to see if she has arrived. I need a new kitchen maid. Is this child a nigra by any chance?

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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-17-2006, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
On a separate and off-topic note; thanks Pastor Zeke for the loan of the wood chipper. As a thank you for the loan I had your wood chipper thoroughly cleaned.
No problem Brother BJ. And thank you for cleaning it out so well. It was all gunked up from when I loaned it to Brother Deaner last October. He needed it because he bagged something like 17 witch covens last Helloween, and couldn't burn them fast enough. Of course he kept it until spring...

It does have a certain hippie reek to it now though. I'll have one of my nigra boys douse it with Old Spice, something I buy by the drum.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-17-2006, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
No problem Brother BJ. And thank you for cleaning it out so well. It was all gunked up from when I loaned it to Brother Deaner last October. He needed it because he bagged something like 17 witch covens last Helloween, and couldn't burn them fast enough. Of course he kept it until spring...

It does have a certain hippie reek to it now though. I'll have one of my nigra boys douse it with Old Spice, something I buy by the drum.

Pastor, I may have to borrow that there chipper here soon, I have some "trees" that need to be chipped.

And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-19-2006, 08:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I moved this to the parenting forum becuase this poor girl is suffering from some pretty strange parenting! Her letter is below.

Dear Mrs. Christianson, my name is Moonbeam and my parents run an organic goat farm in Iowa Falls. My parents don’t believe in organized religion but they do meditate to the wheat grass we grow. Last week we came to Freehold to the Dairy Queen which was a real treat. When we drove by your church I was amazed by it. I have never seen such a fancy church in my life. I asked Sandlewood (that’s my dad but he makes me call him Sandlewood) about your beautiful church, he told me it was built with money you trick innocent people into giving you. Then Sandlewood told me if God really liked your pastors you wouldn’t have to take money from people because all you’d have to do is ask God for the money and he would give it to you. Is this true?

Lordy! You poor child! Run to the bus stop, get on the bus and go as far away from those parents of yours as you can! I am too shaken to answer your question, perhaps our pastors can.
Mother Glendora, is it not possible to rescue this poor girl and take her to Landover as soon as possible?
Surely one of the Godly women here could take care of her and get her away from those hellbound parents who would see their daughter forever writhe in flames?
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Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-27-2006, 11:26 PM
You would!

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-28-2006, 12:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
You would!
I would what?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Ixi Ixi is offline
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Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-31-2006, 05:33 PM
You would burn your child, thats what. All of you would.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-31-2006, 06:15 PM
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You would burn your child, thats what. All of you would.
Don't be absurd Icky; we are trying to stop people being burnt -- to bring them to the Lord and prevent their roasting in the never quenched flames of hell forever. Unless they are witches, of course, when we are obliged to burn them.

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Ixi Ixi is offline
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Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Ixi is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Young Girl's Question - 10-31-2006, 09:13 PM
The Lord and Lady are with me.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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