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Default Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 01:36 PM

The other day my son came home from prison and I know he was indulging in man-flesh cus his buttocks was soar and he walked like a horseman despite he ain't never been on no horse.

Still, I noticed he weren't circumcised and remembered the story that my pastor taught us about this, how God gonna kill him for this.

24. And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him.25. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.26. So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.Exodus 4:24 - 26


So should I take knife to his thingy while he sleeping, or should I feed him robitussen to put him asleep while I do it?
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Default Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 02:22 PM

I say do it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. I imagine a cigar cutter would do the trick:


Just one quick snip and he'll be right before God! I might recommend that you get him an especially large bottle of malt whiskey beforehand, so that way it might dull his senses enough to keep him from going all ape on you.


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Smile Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 04:21 PM

I would never circumcise any of my sons.

Circumsicion is Satans way of tricking you into fondling a childs talleywacker. For my sons born with abnormally large genitals (a common Hutchins trait), I have my eldest granddaughter clean him up.

The excess skin does make it easier for those blessed with smaller members to grasp with tongs for purity reasons. We Hutchins men use a purity sling.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 04:57 PM

You said he came from prison, right? In prison, you sit down a lot so of course his buttocks would be sore. Should you confront him about if he really fondled himself or not?
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Default Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 05:25 PM

Cut it off with a pair of scissors while he's asleep.

It's not wrong if he won't remember it.



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Default Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-23-2012, 05:50 PM

During my "lost weekend" of homosexuality (full disclosure: actual time involved was much longer than 2 days) I saw plenty of tallywhackers, and the only ones wearing a hoodie were attached to negroes and europeans.

Without going in to too much detail, the smell of an uncut tallywhacker is overwhelming, like a cross between rotten potatoes and whore vomit.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Should I circumcise my son? - 08-24-2012, 08:57 AM

Hello.

I forget what this is all about. Someone's a Jew?

It isn't me, is it? I HOPE not.

Today's ice cream day, and my favorite flavor is shellfish.

Thanks,
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