[Yea-tho-we-walk]

I thought it would be nice to have a thread to post some of our wrongful ways before we found our Savior. I'll start out with the time that I thought my electric utility bill was much too high, so instead of bothering the power company people, I thought I'd take a look see inside my electric meter myself. Well, I found several things wrong with it like the absence of powerful rare earth magnets and such and took it on myself to fix the meter with new gears, magnets and several other online tips for saving energy though a deep knowledge of and electric meters inner workings.

Well, as it turns out it would seem that the electric company prefers to do their own work on their meters for some reason and they made quite a stir about me trying to help them out. In my defense, all of the work I performed on the meter worked out so well that my first and only bill was less than 10% of the previous months bill! Praise Jesus!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Thank you, yea, for starting this thread. It would be helpful for all of us to share our past sins.

Before I was a True Christian™, I used to leave big tips at restaurants. I guess I felt sorry for the servers and wanted them to like me.

My conversion brought a new and enlightened way of thinking. I realized I was making the servers dependent on me. I was hurting their future.

All is well now--I don't tip and they have to give me service anyway.

[Once was lost]

I found before I became a Christian that I masturbated.
Since becoming a Christian I have stopped doing such Sins. I have not been in much lately because the urge has returned so I spent the Summer at Brother Fred Phelps Compound who welcomed me with open arms. After spending 8 - 12 hours a day with Placards at Street corners denouncing Fags the urge has left me to touch myself. I must say Topeka, Kansas is the prettiest spot in the whole U.S.A.

Leviticus 18:22 (1611 King James Bible)

Thou shalt not lie with mankinde, as with womankinde: it is abomination.

[Godfly]

I once beat up a queer with a bible that was not a KVJ 1611. It was a big leather bound bible with steel in the spine, but it was one of those modern english editions. I was 16 and didn't know any better and the book was a gift from my classmate Mittins. The real victim was the queer boy who wasn't cured because of my ignorance. Now that I am saved I don't hit anyone... Unless I use my wooden bound KVJ 1611! Only Pastor Zeke has a bigger one.

[Godfly]

Originally Posted by Once was lost

I found before I became a Christian that I masturbated.
Since becoming a Christian I have stopped doing such Sins. I have not been in much lately because the urge has returned so I spent the Summer at Brother Fred Phelps Compound who welcomed me with open arms. After spending 8 - 12 hours a day with Placards at Street corners denouncing Fags the urge has left me to touch myself. I must say Topeka, Kansas is the prettiest spot in the whole U.S.A.

Leviticus 18:22 (1611 King James Bible)

Thou shalt not lie with mankinde, as with womankinde: it is abomination.

Brother Phelps' oldest daughter cured me of all lustful thoughts.

[Jedediah]

Feel free to add your personal testomonies to this thread:

True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!

The unsaved are often intimidated by our righteousness and being perpetually correct in all matters. Through the power of our testimonies, we can let them know that through Jesus, they too might aspire to our level of spiritual perfection.

[Faith_Machine]

You all know all about my history of crystal meth addiction, pre-marital sex, compulsive masturbation, Internet pornography addiction and Lutheranism, so I won't waste your time rehashing those sordid tales.

Instead, I will admit that in addition to all of the above, I also made a habit or assembling plastic model kits without proper ventillation. The models didn't always turn out so good, but I was too high on airplane glue and paint fumes to give a darn one way or the other.

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Originally Posted by Godfly

Brother Phelps' oldest daughter cured me of all lustful thoughts.

You were very fortunate to have Shirley Roper cure you of lust, she is a true expert in the field, it has been said that she could tell you how much God hates fags during her orgasm, if she ever had one.

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

For legal reasons I am not allowed to discuss details of the time I was a chapperone at a teen dance. As God as my witness, I thought 'chapperone' meant threesome though, so it was an honest mistake.

[Whip of Japheth]

God blessed me with a warm bass voice even when i was still a child. I got skilled listening in the theatre opera singers of the gramophon era.

I knew the danger of the opera. A lot are about sinners like Rigoletto and written by sinners like Verdi. Because of this i only sang proper music for Christians like Hendel's (that's the proper spell of his surname, do not forget) Rinaldo. An incredible adventure of a brave Cruzade Soldier.

But, i dropped my spiritual shield and i accepted to sing in a "sacred" catholic chorus (note the oxymormon implicit). 90 years later I'm still too ashamed to explain a lot. Do not let NEVER, repeat NEVER your kids near a catholic priest. That's all i want to say.

God, I show you my sincere repentance and humiliation every single day. Listen to my humble pray and excuse my sins in Your Magnanimity.