Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#41)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-20-2007, 06:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I do indeed. With my rock hard abs (I swim 5 miles a day in my olympic-sized pool) and my natural good looks (blonde-haired and blue-eyed, just like Jesus!), I have innumerable queers wanting to commit sodomy on me. Being strong with Jesus, I am not tempted to indulge in that particular filthy sin.

I have hear it said that there are fan sites devoted to me on other forums, but I am too humble to check and see if that's true.

Praise Jesus!

Oh, there he goes being all humble and shy again.

He indeed is a Hunk of Man on fire for the Lord!

Here is a pic I snapped of him last summer while he was mucking out a stall on my property.

Why, I bet even JESUS Himself envies Pastor Zeke's abs.

GLORY!
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#42)
Old
imback imback is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 96
Join Date: Dec 2007
imback is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-21-2007, 01:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Oh, there he goes being all humble and shy again.

He indeed is a Hunk of Man on fire for the Lord!

Here is a pic I snapped of him last summer while he was mucking out a stall on my property.

Why, I bet even JESUS Himself envies Pastor Zeke's abs.

GLORY!
That photo is fake.
Reply With Quote
(#43)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-21-2007, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by imback View Post
That photo is fake.
Prove it, heathen. Sister Thumper is my fiancee. Are calling her a liar?

I was there when that picture was taken, so don't come in here bearing false witness.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#44)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-21-2007, 04:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by silver_cougar View Post
Brethren, I am speechless. I only registered here a few minutes ago and posted in your introduction forum to say hi. Now that I have been looking around, I am stunned at what I am seeing. Giving away free video game systems to win people to Christ is materialism. Then people won't come to Christ for Christ, but because of the merchandise they can get.

Jesus condemned the Pharisees for making his Father's House a den of theives (See John 2:15-16). I'm afraid I can't encourage this at all.

In His Precious Name,

Roy
Friend, now this is hate speech. Are you saying that "Prosperity Christianity" is equivalent to the theives who pillage New Orleans? Are you saying that the promise of Jesus to reward his followers a thousandfold is theivery?

The only reason people accept Christ is because he bribes them with heaven, a material reward. Heaven is a bribe. Are you calling Jesus a thief?


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Reply With Quote
(#45)
Old
ILikeJesus's Avatar
ILikeJesus ILikeJesus is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 16
Join Date: Dec 2007
ILikeJesus is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-26-2007, 01:49 AM

Waste of Bandwidth removed. -Wash O'Hanley
Reply With Quote
(#46)
Old
tinfoil tinfoil is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 39
Join Date: Dec 2007
tinfoil is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-27-2007, 06:03 PM

I have accepted Jesus. Can I have my PS3 so I can sell it on eBay and go back to playing Fire Emblem on my Wii?
Reply With Quote
(#47)
Old
ILikeJesus's Avatar
ILikeJesus ILikeJesus is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 16
Join Date: Dec 2007
ILikeJesus is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 12-27-2007, 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILikeJesus View Post
Waste of Bandwidth removed. -Wash O'Hanley
Additional waste of bandwidth removed- Wash O'Hanley
Reply With Quote
(#48)
Old
SisterAbstinenceOnly's Avatar
SisterAbstinenceOnly SisterAbstinenceOnly is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: In an undisclosed bunker patiently awaiting the rapture
SisterAbstinenceOnly is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-03-2008, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Are you seriously trying to tell us that, as a little baby, you made a conscious decision to turn your life and soul over to Jesus and follow all His Commands?
As the old Monty Python song "Every Sperm is Sacred," clearly explained, Catholics are Catholics from conception. The protestant British heathens were a bit more lewd, but you get the drift. We’re born saved, live with it.

Your friend in Christ,
Sister Abstinence


"I've reminded the prime minister-the American people, Mr. Prime Minister, over the past months that it was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 29, 2006
Reply With Quote
(#49)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-03-2008, 02:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SisterAbstinenceOnly View Post
As the old Monty Python song "Every Sperm is Sacred," clearly explained, Catholics are Catholics from conception. The protestant British heathens were a bit more lewd, but you get the drift. We’re born saved, live with it.

Your friend in Christ,
Sister Abstinence
So I take it that you are another nary worshiper here to persecute us.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#50)
Old
CaveManJoke's Avatar
CaveManJoke CaveManJoke is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 64
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the pig pen
CaveManJoke is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-03-2008, 08:09 PM

Holy cow, sign me up!
I wants a free one!
You'd better pay for the S&H though, I dont do that.
I'll be willing to go to a non catholic church for 5 minutes if you give me one!

heya, the Xbox has Counter Strike source with it toO! I could totally practice my terrorist skills wielding Ak-47s with it! Sign me ups!
Reply With Quote
(#51)
Old
CloudsAboveMe's Avatar
CloudsAboveMe CloudsAboveMe is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Jan 2008
CloudsAboveMe is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Exclamation Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-06-2008, 08:21 AM

I don't need video game systems to praise the Lord. Besides, everyone knows that Wii systems are recruiting the youth to homosexuality, it says so in your parenting forum!

I hope this is a joke, friends, because you are saying Wiis are evil, yet you are giving them away! This concerns me, and I pray for all of those who want a Wii.

All my blessings!

-Dave
Reply With Quote
(#52)
Old
Lieutenant88's Avatar
Lieutenant88 Lieutenant88 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jan 2008
Lieutenant88 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-07-2008, 07:06 AM

I do not understand the point of view you people have here. I looked at the actual page showing the offer, and I can understand wanting children to be saved, but I can not understand using an electronic device to sway them in that particular direction. When I got saved I made that decision by reading the bible and talking to a preacher. At that time, the original Playstation was just hitting the market, and sure I wanted one, but I didn't need that to persuade me to get saved. And then you tell the children to get their mother or father's checkbook or credit card? Come on, where I come from, thats considered STEALING. Isn't that condemned in the Bible? Not to mention the fact that it is ILLEGAL. I've dealt with people passing off stolen checks quite a bit, and they usually get prosecuted to some extent by law. I think that would be considered stolen IF the parents didn't approve it, and I'm almost sure that you are pushing toward that by this quote: "If your parents ask you where you got your new PlayStation 3, just tell them that your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, delivered it to you via the U.S. Postal Service in exchange for your soul." Sounds to me like you don't want them to let their parents know how they acquired it, and that also would be a LIE, which is also condemned in the bible. And the children are going to be in big trouble when the parents' credit card or bank statement arrives in the mail. Then you say and again I quote: "Tell Jesus that you hate your parents, and that you'd rather have Him for your Daddy. Ask Him to forgive your sins, and cover you with His blood (you'll see plenty of that splattered across your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!)." You say your giving a complimentary copy of Grand Theft Auto 3, that is a violent, and yes as you said "bloody" game, packed with murder and bad language along with drug use, to CHILDREN? That's ridiculous. They make plenty of games that are not that bad. You have to be 18 at most retail stores to buy that game, and you are going to distribute it to children. It is rated mature. And you compare Christ's blood to the blood on a video game. Thats real good. My point is, you people are ridiculous. Save someone by convincing them to go to church. Read your bible. And be sure to talk bad and call me a sodomite and things of that nature because I don't agree with you. This site is a scam and personally I think that just maybe your church might be a scam, in fact, I would like to attend it someday to see what ploys you use in your sermons to get followers. In fact, instead of taking up offering, how about offering people money to come forward and be saved. There's an idea. Or maybe just go to a church where all you need is the word of God and the Spirit of the Holy Ghost to be saved.
Reply With Quote
(#53)
Old
Justin Bill's Avatar
Justin Bill Justin Bill is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 63
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: petaluma, CA
Justin Bill is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-15-2008, 06:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieutenant88 View Post
When I got saved I made that decision by reading the bible and talking to a preacher. At that time, the original Playstation was just hitting the market, [/FONT]
well then, maybe the playstation wasn't the gift for eternal grace recievers? I hope someady to get my very own playstation, and in fact, i accept jesus into my heart, and i really want a wII...

Praise Jesus!!

I am hungry for the blood of salvation!!

too bad you, my freind, are going to hell..
Reply With Quote
(#54)
Old
sterf-kanker-jezus's Avatar
sterf-kanker-jezus sterf-kanker-jezus is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2008
sterf-kanker-jezus is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-15-2008, 09:16 PM

I have accept jesus and now i want my kanker ps3
Reply With Quote
(#55)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-16-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sterf-kanker-jezus View Post
I have accept jesus and now i want my kanker ps3
Okay, then the final step would be the receipt of your Tithe. That is 10% of your (or your parents) gross income. Click on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and we'll set you right up.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#56)
Old
GunnyHackett's Avatar
GunnyHackett GunnyHackett is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2008
GunnyHackett is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-19-2008, 10:29 PM

How is it that a Wii could be considered a part of a Godly community when one of your own articles refutes that?: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2008/january/wii.html

Matthew 24:51
"And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
Reply With Quote
(#57)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-20-2008, 12:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GunnyHackett View Post
How is it that a Wii could be considered a part of a Godly community when one of your own articles refutes that?: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2008/january/wii.html
When have we ever considered a Wii to be part of our Godly community? Are you getting a w-i-i mixed up with a p-s-3? Because if you are, I certainly wouldn't trust you to post a letter. The aborted fetuses I send to liberal feminazi politicians on a weekly basis are very important, and I certainly wouldn't want liberal incompetence ruining them, Praise Jesus!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#58)
Old
GunnyHackett's Avatar
GunnyHackett GunnyHackett is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Jan 2008
GunnyHackett is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-20-2008, 01:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
We have given away tens of thousands of these, but now the new deal is the WII. We still have a few PS3s left. Get yours before the manufacturer goes out of business!
Brother Temperance, this is the very first post in this whole thread, and it explicitly endorses the Wii.
Reply With Quote
(#59)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-20-2008, 01:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GunnyHackett View Post
Brother Temperance, this is the very first post in this whole thread, and it explicitly endorses the Wii.
We do not endorse wii, you ignorant queen. They are used as a means to reach out to the youth of America and get them Saved©. The software that we supply with the models we give away is somewhat......unique.

We would do literally anything to bring sinners to Christ.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#60)
Old
narrowpathy narrowpathy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 316
Join Date: Jan 2008
narrowpathy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3! - 01-20-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Oh, there he goes being all humble and shy again.

He indeed is a Hunk of Man on fire for the Lord!

Here is a pic I snapped of him last summer while he was mucking out a stall on my property.

Why, I bet even JESUS Himself envies Pastor Zeke's abs.

GLORY!
Though blond and blue-eyed, he is dark-brown, almost like a niggra. And he dares to compare himself to Him!


"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
evangelism, evil video games, interspecies relations, video games

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved