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Joe the Atheist's Avatar
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Default Smoking vs Religion - 08-24-2007, 04:19 PM
How is smoking different from religion?
  • Smoking damages your physical health, but religion damages your mental health.
  • Smokers don't kill each other over which brand is better.
  • A smoker doesn't get ostracized by his family for quitting or switching brands.
  • Smokers don't get upset if their daughters marry non-smokers.
  • Smokers don't require their young children to start smoking.
  • Smokers don't evangelize to non smokers - "Friend, have you heard about a place called 'Flavor Country'?"
--Joe

Have you heard the Good News? There are no gods, there is no hell, and the only sin is being mean to other people.

There are no ghosts, pixies, hobgoblins, angels, leprechauns, gods, goddesses, demons, minotaurs, devils, witches, warlocks, dragons, or spirits.

Prayer, magic spells, and doing nothing accomplish exactly the same thing.
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Default Re: Smoking vs Religion - 08-24-2007, 04:26 PM
Friend, you are right!

We True Christians ™ MUST start acting like smokers!

We MUST go out and send our message to everyone (second hand smoke)! We should provide this second hand smoke to everyone, the more people we can give cancer to (heaven) from our smoking the better job we do.

Friend, your smoking metaphor is perfect.

Praise Jesus for you!

I propose a new Landover Baptist Mission.

Something like:

Smoke a butt for the Lord.


PRAISE JESUS for you Brother Joe!!!

YIC
V
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Default Re: Smoking vs Religion - 08-26-2007, 09:55 PM
Smoking is Biblical. We even know the brand of choice!

Genesis 24: 63-64
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.


Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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Default Re: Smoking vs Religion - 08-27-2007, 06:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Smoking is Biblical. We even know the brand of choice!

Genesis 24: 63-64
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
My daughter's name is Rebekah, and Camel is her brand. I'd like to see some atheist try to pass that off as "coincidence"

She just finished her first week as a freshman at Landover University. I'm so proud.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: Smoking vs Religion - 08-27-2007, 09:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
My daughter's name is Rebekah, and Camel is her brand. I'd like to see some atheist try to pass that off as "coincidence"

She just finished her first week as a freshman at Landover University. I'm so proud.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Do you know, Pastor, I'd completely forgotten about your Daughter.
It's great that we can teach our kids to be both not seen AND not heard!!

Just in case ANYONE has any doubts, here is Divine proof:

Name: SmokeForJesus.jpg Views: 229 Size: 20.8 KB

He even blows his own Halo!


Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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Default Re: Smoking vs Religion - 08-27-2007, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post

Just in case ANYONE has any doubts, here is Divine proof:

Attachment 2301

He even blows his own Halo!
Ooooooooooh isn't He lovely, isn't He gorgeous? both manly and Divine! GLORY!

1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Last edited by Sister Noddy; 08-27-2007 at 08:34 PM.
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