General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-24-2015, 03:14 PM
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-24-2015, 05:30 PM
Happy Last Birthday on Earth, Sister.
Wouldn't the best birthday present EVER be to witness the End of Days and to meet Jesus in the clouds! I'll be praying for that!
Mark 14:62
And Jesus said, I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 24
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: compton, long beach, inglewood
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-25-2015, 07:36 AM
happy birthday
|
|
Unsaved trash, suspected sheep lover
|
|
Posts: 53
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-26-2015, 01:40 AM
Happy existing anniversary
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-26-2015, 08:59 PM
Thank you but my birthday was not a good one. As a birthday present my husband washed his own plate after breakfast. I am worried that he no longer needs me and is becoming a homosexual.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
|
|
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
|
|
Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-26-2015, 09:03 PM
Oh, Sister Kitty! You poor dear!
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-26-2015, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Kitty
...As a birthday present my husband washed his own plate after breakfast. I am worried that he no longer needs me and is becoming a homosexual.
|
Threaten Offer to fix his car ('61 T-bird convertible, wasn't it?). That should keep him out of the kitchen.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-27-2015, 02:08 AM
Poor dear!
That's worse than finding out he's registered with Ashley Madison. At least they commit adultery with women there.
I pray the LORD shows you your failings so you can care for your husband again.
Happy Birthday!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-27-2015, 02:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Kitty
Thank you but my birthday was not a good one. As a birthday present my husband washed his own plate after breakfast. I am worried that he no longer needs me and is becoming a homosexual.
|
You really should blame yourself.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-27-2015, 10:09 AM
Happy birthday Sister Kitty. Did you get the cat I sent you?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 857
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-27-2015, 12:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Happy birthday Sister Kitty. Did you get the cat I sent you?
|
Thank you. It was delicious.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Kitty! -
08-27-2015, 12:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Poor dear!
That's worse than finding out he's registered with Ashley Madison. At least they commit adultery with women there.
I pray the LORD shows you your failings so you can care for your husband again.
Happy Birthday!
|
You should rejoice! God's purpose for you was obviously to show this great nation the horrors of gay marriage.
Stop being so selfish.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|