Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page God Bless on this fine evening!
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
RighteousInRed's Avatar
RighteousInRed RighteousInRed is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fort Myers. Florida
RighteousInRed is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Cross God Bless on this fine evening! - 01-20-2016, 02:00 AM

Hello all and God Bless! Tonight is a night to be praised as the weather turns warm in Fort Myers, and we have finally been spared from cold rain!Now then, my name is Zachariah Abelen. I am 22, and a resident of Fort Myers, Florida, in God's favorite country. My church is called the House of Blue and White, and we meet daily for prayers. My favorite verse is from Deuteronomy, Chapter 10, Verse 21:
He is thy praise, and he is thy God, that hath done for the these great and terrible things, which thine eyes have seen. It reminds us that God's work is all around us, and no further "proof" is ever needed. Ever.
I am the apprentice of a watchmaker, who attends the same church as I do. I spend most of my spare time praying and reading my KJV1611. Every two months I go on a mission to spread the word of God to one of the more heathen islands in the Caribbean or Gulf of Mexico. I have no tolerance for things that upset God, especially liberals, who actively work to make America a land of heathens and blasphemy. God brought my mother to his side at my birth, and so I was raised by my father, who is sadly not walking in God's grace, as he his a Catholic hypocrite. He is actually the reason that I have come here today in such urgency.
When speaking to my father today, he expressed concerned that Donald Trump might not be the best choice as our next president. He feels Trump is too brash and might cause a war that America might not be able to win! I don't think I need to explain the many things wrong with that to people as wise as you are. How do I get him back on the Trump train? And for that matter, how do I attempt to get him to walk with Jesus as He intends and forsake his cult? Please, help me save his soul!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: God Bless on this fine evening! - 01-20-2016, 02:20 AM

Hello Zachariah! Any friend of is a friend of mine!

I also suffered from the generational curs that started when some member in my family way back in the dark ages was sucked into the papist cult by Aquinas' popular "compel them to convert" methodology of exiling those who refused to kowtow to Rome, and burning at the stake those who refused to go. There is good news, though! You needn't feel bad about your father burning in Hell for all eternity, starting the moment after he draws his final breath. Why, in Heaven, any tears you shed over your father's fate will be personally wiped away by God Almighty Himself (Revelation 7:17)! In fact, you cannot be personal disciple of Jesus until you hate your father (Luke 14:26). For Jesus came to Glorify God by tearing up families (Matthew 10:35), and besides, you will be richly rewarded in Heaven with a hundred better fathers (Matthew 19:29)! Doesn't that sound fine!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
RighteousInRed's Avatar
RighteousInRed RighteousInRed is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fort Myers. Florida
RighteousInRed is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: God Bless on this fine evening! - 01-20-2016, 02:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Hello Zachariah! Any friend of is a friend of mine!

I also suffered from the generational curs that started when some member in my family way back in the dark ages was sucked into the papist cult by Aquinas' popular "compel them to convert" methodology of exiling those who refused to kowtow to Rome, and burning at the stake those who refused to go. There is good news, though! You needn't feel bad about your father burning in Hell for all eternity, starting the moment after he draws his final breath. Why, in Heaven, any tears you shed over your father's fate will be personally wiped away by God Almighty Himself (Revelation 7:17)! In fact, you cannot be personal disciple of Jesus until you hate your father (Luke 14:26). For Jesus came to Glorify God by tearing up families (Matthew 10:35), and besides, you will be richly rewarded in Heaven with a hundred better fathers (Matthew 19:29)! Doesn't that sound fine!
Oh dear, this will take some great effort. But what is faith without hardship? (Peter 1:7) In the meantime, what about Trump? Surely even though he will go to Hell, my father's vote can still help save this nation from the liberals and homosexuals, can it not?
Thank you very much, and God bless you, Mary.


Deuteronomy 10:21 He is thy praise, and he is thy God, that hath done for thee these great and terrible things, which thine eyes have seen.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: God Bless on this fine evening! - 01-20-2016, 04:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RighteousInRed View Post
Oh dear, this will take some great effort. But what is faith without hardship? (Peter 1:7) In the meantime, what about Trump? Surely even though he will go to Hell, my father's vote can still help save this nation from the liberals and homosexuals, can it not?
Thank you very much, and God bless you, Mary.
You talk funny, Zach. You sound like one of those british nancyboys. Plus nobody can make heads or tails of what you're talking about.

Anyway, I'm Praying for you boy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
I Man Rastafari's Avatar
I Man Rastafari I Man Rastafari is offline
Possibly retarded pothead
 

Caution - Poster is on Drugs Negroe Poster Pot Head Thieving Nigra Rapist Caution - Poster is on Drugs Stalker Caution - Poster is Crazy Baggie Democrat Jafaican One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: God Bless on this fine evening! - 01-20-2016, 05:05 AM

Greetings Zachariah. I have recently been in the State of Florida where I spent the break between semesters at my Auntie's house in Miami. It was much warmer there than the place I am going to university which is Madison Wisconsin. This place is too cold for Black men but I am forced to live here in order to pursue my studies.

Most of the people on this site are white people who are Baptists. I am not a white man or a Baptist but I am a Christian. Some of the participants here are for Ted Cruz but most are for Donald Trump. I am a socialist but I am pledged to vote for Hilary Clinton instead of Bernie Sanders or that other man because she is for the Black man and she is a great supporter of Black Lives Matter and our right to be disruptive for change. This will be the first vote I have cast since I moved here to Babylon from my home which is in Jamaica.

Jah Guide
Trevor


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved