[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Just in case anyone makes it to the end of this thread and is still unsure: NO! YOU SHOULD NOT GET A TATTOO. OK?!?!

Sometimes you just wake up somewhere with one. It happened to Jimmy Buffett and it happened to me once in the wild northern tundra where I was trying to convert a wild tribe of blubbering Eskimos to JESUS.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Just in case anyone makes it to the end of this thread and is still unsure: NO! YOU SHOULD NOT GET A TATTOO. OK?!?!

Lol! But what if it's something meaningful to you that you'll never regret?

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Sometimes you just wake up somewhere with one. It happened to Jimmy Buffett and it happened to me once in the wild northern tundra where I was trying to convert a wild tribe of blubbering Eskimos to JESUS.

Oh my! Where was the tattoo and what was it of?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

Lol! But what if it's something meaningful to you that you'll never regret?

Oh my! Where was the tattoo and what was it of?

I don't know. It's some Alaskan design. I was sitting in a remote village ummm... explaining Christianity to several young girls when a polar bear attacked. I reckon it weighed about six metric tonnes and stood a good fifteen feet tall.

Naturally, I outs with my .44 and blasted the creature halfway back to SATAN. Then I was suddenly even more popular than before and they gave me a bowl of oatmeal...or....something. When I woke up it was almost spring, I had been proclaimed High Mukluk and had this totem covering my left foot and ankle. It's supposed to tell the story about the day the White Claw came to the village to eat the children and what a hero I am. I got two totem rings around my ankle which is as many as you can get for valor.

I hope JESUS isn't offended.

[WickedWitch]

*Dreamy sigh* Oh, Pastor, but you are a brave one! Did you ever get the tattoo removed?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

*Dreamy sigh* Oh, Pastor, but you are a brave one! Did you ever get the tattoo removed?

No. It's still there.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

No. It's still there.

I is can sees it?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

I is can sees it?

I dunno. I don't just show ankle to anyone! Then again, if I don't, someone won't believe my story about the Eskimos.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

I dunno. I don't just show ankle to anyone! Then again, if I don't, someone won't believe my story about the Eskimos.

And if you buys plane ticket I will be coming to pick up that havarti...

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

And if you buys plane ticket I will be coming to pick up that havarti...

I dunno. I think I'll use it as rat bait....since it obviously works in that capacity.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

I dunno. I think I'll use it as rat bait....since it obviously works in that capacity.

Oi, now, that's not very nice! The idea of using the world's greatest cheese to lure rodents a group to which I do not belong, thank you very much (and I thought you liked me! Hmm!)!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

Oi, now, that's not very nice! The idea of using the world's greatest cheese to lure rodents a group to which I do not belong, thank you very much (and I thought you liked me! Hmm!)!

How did you see that?

[Sir WhiteSox]

I'm still curious as to whether the Bible intended to also condemn surgery and alike, benign practices. For example, what if a small harmless incision were to be necessary in order to remove a bothersome beam from one's eye?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Sir WhiteSox

I'm still curious as to whether the Bible intended to also condemn surgery and alike, benign practices. For example, what if a small harmless incision were to be necessary in order to remove a bothersome beam from one's eye?

Typically one pokes out or cuts off the offending member, but no, there is nothing wrong with surgery although it only necessary to remove arrows, bullets, Catholic Priests and the like. Illness is Satanic in nature and is typically caused by colonic demons.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Sir WhiteSox

I'm still curious as to whether the Bible intended to also condemn surgery and alike, benign practices. For example, what if a small harmless incision were to be necessary in order to remove a bothersome beam from one's eye?

Do you have something you'd like to share with us? Have you been horribly disfigured because Jesus hates you?

I'm wondering if you've ever actually read the Bible. Maybe you missed this verse?

Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Show your devotion to Jesus, smartaleck. Use a linoleum knife, I've heard they do the job.

[Sir WhiteSox]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Do you have something you'd like to share with us? Have you been horribly disfigured because Jesus hates you?

I was only subtly disfigured the day Jesus saved me from death. But yeah, that's a small price to pay for getting resurrected. I was properly dead, stone-cold for like five minutes until He came barging in like the freakin' cavalry and said something along the lines of 'Get up, my man, dust yourself off and live a long life!' Such a nice fella
True story! Cardiac arrest is a wench, but Sir Jesus found no problem in slapping it across the face and telling it to get its ugly face out of here. So now I live, in His mercy.

As such, I am not inclined to cut off the junk like you recommended. My devotion to The Man was sealed when He looked me in the eye and said 'Your life, it ain't over yet.'

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Sir WhiteSox

I was only subtly disfigured the day Jesus saved me from death. But yeah, that's a small price to pay for getting resurrected. I was properly dead, stone-cold for like five minutes until He came barging in like the freakin' cavalry and said something along the lines of 'Get up, my man, dust yourself off and live a long life!' Such a nice fella
True story! Cardiac arrest is a wench, but Sir Jesus found no problem in slapping it across the face and telling it to get its ugly face out of here. So now I live, in His mercy.

As such, I am not inclined to cut off the junk like you recommended. My devotion to The Man was sealed when He looked me in the eye and said 'Your life, it ain't over yet.'

Your life, it is a waste of oxygen. Please have the courtesy to jump under a bus.

[GayIsTheWord]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Your life, it is a waste of oxygen. Please have the courtesy to jump under a bus.

Whats up with you and wanting me to commit suicide?
Correct me if I'm wrong sure something like that is in the Bible...

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by GayIsTheWord

Whats up with you and wanting me to commit suicide?
Correct me if I'm wrong sure something like that is in the Bible...

I love JESUS and I don't want Him to have to waste a lot of time slaughtering qweers when he could be making the rivers run red with mudslime blood. You DO understand that Jesus is coming back for only one reason...to start Armageddon. The final war in which everyone will be killed? You have read Revelation, right?

[Sir WhiteSox]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Your life, it is a waste of oxygen. Please have the courtesy to jump under a bus.

Sir Jesus would frown upon seeing someone take ungratefulness and even disobedience to such unprecedented level.

Also, you should try to temper your arrogance when discussing topics beyond the span of your life's journeys. Jesus making such an effort withdrawing me from the edge of death makes your statement rather unjustly bold, and very, very wrong. Please do handle some humility when discussing Life.

To quote a wise lyricist: "People fear what they don't understand; hate what they can't conquer."

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Sir WhiteSox

Sir Jesus would frown upon seeing someone take ungratefulness and even disobedience to such unprecedented level.

Also, you should try to temper your arrogance when discussing topics beyond the span of your life's journeys. Jesus making such an effort withdrawing me from the edge of death makes your statement rather unjustly bold, and very, very wrong. Please do handle some humility when discussing Life.

To quote a wise lyricist: "People fear what they don't understand; hate what they can't conquer."

None of that applies to JESUS, friend. People with deformities can't enter the House of the Lord. I am not arrogant, I merely fear GOD as He commands. And I am ready to march by HIS glorious side as he kills the wicked! THAT is why he is returning and THAT is what we are preparing for. Life? We will have it everlasting in exchange for one brief moment of glory if the heathen strikes us down on JESUS' long march to the sea!