Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Dogs bark, pee on fire hydrants, and that's about it. Whatever else they are good for is lost on me.
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Brother Johny, you need to use a little more imagination - dogs do have a useful role in society, and not only as Chink cuisine. True, dogs can be a dirty nuisance at times. In fact, just last month I ordered my bodyguard to shoot a dog that pissed on the tire of my limo - it's time those canines took some individual responsibility. And yeah, seems like most of the world's dogs are on food stamps - all they have to do is wag their tails and shіt, and they get a free meal.
But having said that, look at some of the ways dogs can earn a living. Just last Sunday, I was visiting one of my company's factories in China - I had some business there giving private Bible lessons to a couple of cute young female trainees in the back room. Anyway, being a Sunday, the workers were given the traditional half-day off per month. So after lunch, the male workers gathered round the parking lot for an entertaining dog fight.
Normally, I don't usually like to get too close to the male workers because those toxic chemicals they work with in our factories everyday can permeate their clothes and skin and can't be washed off, so those men are a regular walking hazardous waste dump. But anyway, I wanted to show that even the boss is just a regular guy, so I joined them and placed a $100 bet on the white dog.
Dogs earning their keep
As it turns out, he lost, but being a good sport, I only deducted 50% of my bet from their pay.
While I'm on this topic of dog fights, I just want to add that I thought it was very racist of them animal-rights libtards to prosecute Michael Vick, a Negro football player, just for betting on a few dog fights. It's especially ironic, given that betting on Negro fights is considered a respectable activity and even gets shown on TV.
Negroes earning their keep
Then again, neither dogs nor Negros have a soul, so I'm sure the Lord doesn't care what happens to them. I don't know why anyone else does either. On the other hand, it's pretty cool that those PETA chicks love animals so much that they'll take off their clothes in public.
PETA chicks earning their keep
Of course, when they do this kind of thing in front of my company's baby harp seal fur coat outlets, I have to send in the goons to crack some heads. But looking on the bright side, this gives them an opportunity to have some fun with the prisoners in the back room of the police station. It's little fringe benefits like that which assure their loyalty to me, and cheaper than paying them a living wage.