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  • Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

    I'm having a hard time finding any information at all on Enoch Jeremiah Smithe. The Landover Baptist website has but very little information on this good man, and forget any other place on the web!

    I would like to read up on him some more, as I have a hard time finding good American Christians from that time period (And I won't get into how hard it is just to find True Christians™!). Cotton Mather was good for awhile with his advocation of Spectral evidence in court cases, but tainted everything he stood for after denouncing the Salem Witch Trials as "unfair" (when history proves this event to be justified!)... And I can't stand his father Increase ""It were better that Ten Suspected Witches should escape, than that one Innocent Person should be Condemned" Mather!!

    Also, sorry I haven't been active here as much as I should. I've found myself with reduced access to the Internet as of late.
    "If a minister believes and teaches evilution, he is a stinking skunk, a hypocrite, and a liar."

    - W. A. "Billy" Sunday, 1925.

  • #2
    Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

    Originally posted by Cueball View Post
    I'm having a hard time finding any information at all on Enoch Jeremiah Smithe. The Landover Baptist website has but very little information on this good man, and forget any other place on the web!

    I would like to read up on him some more, as I have a hard time finding good American Christians from that time period (And I won't get into how hard it is just to find True Christians™!). Cotton Mather was good for awhile with his advocation of Spectral evidence in court cases, but tainted everything he stood for after denouncing the Salem Witch Trials as "unfair" (when history proves this event to be justified!)... And I can't stand his father Increase ""It were better that Ten Suspected Witches should escape, than that one Innocent Person should be Condemned" Mather!!

    Also, sorry I haven't been active here as much as I should. I've found myself with reduced access to the Internet as of late.

    Apart from him being the very first Pastor of Landover, why should someone who is "Under Investigation" be poking around our history?

    Have you Tithed yet sinner?

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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    • #3
      Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

      Originally posted by Cueball View Post
      I'm having a hard time finding any information at all on Enoch Jeremiah Smithe.

      There isn't much left to read. Pastor Enoch's name is variously spelled "Smith" "Smithe" or, the more correctly English "Smythe". He sailed aboard the first ship bringing GOD'S elect to America in 1612 but didn't survive the sea journey. Although the congregation pleaded with the Captain, the crew refused to allow Pastor Smyth to be pickled in a cask of their SATANIC grog and he had to be tossed to the sharks in GOD'S mercy. Historical fact is present however, because the very ship upon which Pastor Smythe sailed not only succeeded in delivering the first TRUE CHRISTIANS(TM) to America, it then returned to England with George Percy of Jamestown whose story is to be found here.


      After it was established that the savage injuns around Jamestown would not tithe sufficient to the new church, a system of offering rewards for injun scalps was initiated and proved to be very successful. Parts of this program still exist today but have been modified for wiccans. Obviously scalping is not useful in identifying wiccans so we now offer a bounty on pierced or tattooed genitals and breasts.

      Also, sorry I haven't been active here as much as I should. I've found myself with reduced access to the Internet as of late.
      Do they cut off Internet access in prison at certain hours or did you do something bad?
      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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      • #4
        Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

        Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
        Apart from him being the very first Pastor of Landover, why should someone who is "Under Investigation" be poking around our history?

        Have you Tithed yet sinner?
        The first answer is simply because I've always had a fascination with history. This interest of mine was falsely guided by for most of my life until I found the Landover Baptist website and realized that everything I've needed in this life (and not just for my interest in history) could be had in the KJV1611. Another reason why history continues to interest me is that True Christians™ have always done battle with the heathens of the world since the beginning of time, and I feel that the more I learn from the lives of the True Christians™ of the past, the better me (and perhaps all of us) can be.

        Also, I take that title of "under investigation" as a compliment. Despite my pre-LBC life, I think those doing the bulk of the investigating will be satisfied how He has touched me, and lead me to renounce my past life of blasphemy.

        Now to answer your second question. Yes, I have tithed. Pastor Pistle can verify this for you. Just as I sent the tithe, I have prayed to the Lord in thanking Him for not going Malachi 2:3 on me today (or any other day), and to forgive me for asking Him for more knowledge than what I realize I am ready for... And on the side, I asked him to continue to keep blessing me with the physical fitness I want so I can only be like the physical me as of old. (And absolutely nothing like the mental and "spiritual" me of the past!!)

        Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
        Do they cut off Internet access in prison at certain hours or did you do something bad?
        No Pastor, no... First off, I am not in prison. What had happened was that the lord told me to plead guilty to misdemeanor trespass in exchange for the charges of vandalism, stalking, and resisting arrest... And the Judge spared me the jail time by sentencing me to community service and probation. IMHO, I don't see what the big deal was, as I merely spraypainted "ALL BABY KILLERS ARE GOING TO HELL!!" in big red letters on the side of an abortion clinic.

        I do sincerely thank you for the link and the history lesson. It fills me with hope and enlightenment.
        "If a minister believes and teaches evilution, he is a stinking skunk, a hypocrite, and a liar."

        - W. A. "Billy" Sunday, 1925.

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        • #5
          Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

          Originally posted by Cueball View Post
          ...the lord told me to plead guilty to misdemeanor trespass in exchange for the charges of vandalism, stalking, and resisting arrest...
          Ooops! I meant to add after that bit that I pled guilty to the trespassing in exchange for those other (false) accusations being dropped.

          But other than the community service and probation officers, I've been up to other things that have limted my time to be online. Don't get me wrong, if I could, I'd be here every hour of every day... Along with (of course) the main page of the Landover Baptist Church, and a profile of Pastor Deacon Fred to be had elsewhere on the Internet.

          Now I have thoroughly re-read this before posting, so I mean what I say this time!
          "If a minister believes and teaches evilution, he is a stinking skunk, a hypocrite, and a liar."

          - W. A. "Billy" Sunday, 1925.

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          • #6
            Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

            Are you a nigra of some kind? You talk like one.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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            • #7
              Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

              If you like American history, here's some fascinating information on the founding of the Democratic Party.
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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              • #8
                Re: Pastor Enoch Jeremiah Smithe?

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                Are you a nigra of some kind? You talk like one.
                LOL, sorry about that, Pastor Ezekiel. My intelligence must have been dropping some since I found myself too pressed for time to visit here as often as before. No, I'm not a nigra. The only thing nigra about me is my name Cueball, which was given to me by a nigra many, many years ago. I've adopted it as my own nickname ever since.... And to this day, for reasons unknown.

                Originally posted by Brother Temperance
                If you like American history, here's some fascinating information on the founding of the Democratic Party.
                Ah yes, I'm not suprised about that at all. The Democratic Party (tracing it's roots back to the Democratic-Republican Party (AKA the Republicans; no relation to today's Republican party), who's founder, Thomas Jefferson, was an advocate of agriculture. Having read that article, it fully explains just why! Thomas Jefferson was as perverted as Democrats come. For many years, Thomas Jefferson was rumored to have had an affair with one of his slaves, and today the rumors appear vindicated when a nigra was genetically traced to Thomas Jefferson!

                Sadly, the Godly Republican Party did not start out as Godly by any matter of means! This political party was started by fake Baptist Abraham Lincoln (as if there's True Christian™ Baptists outside of the Landover Baptist Church!), who was intent on dismantling the system of slavery in the United States. Well Abe, you're now a slave of Satan, because you didn't study your Bible closely enough!

                Leviticus 25:44 - Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.
                "If a minister believes and teaches evilution, he is a stinking skunk, a hypocrite, and a liar."

                - W. A. "Billy" Sunday, 1925.

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