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Reload this Page A friendly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
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Default A friendly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-23-2013, 09:11 PM
I hope you are all getting Me awesome CHRISTmas presents and tithing extra in My name!

Please don't jew Me on My Birthday! And don't forget to tip your pastors!

BLESSINGS!


Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-23-2013, 09:23 PM
Well, hello there Holy Omniscient Messianic One!!

Thank you so much for all you have done for us, who were once naught but filthy abominations, but are now tolerable in the sight of He that sent You.

I won't blather on with endless praises here, of which you are so worthy, but just be advised, I will carry on like a star-struck school girl when you finally call me home to you! I can't wait!! Kill me now, please!

With loving, humble and faithful worship,

Yours In You,

Mark.



I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-23-2013, 09:38 PM
Jesus, I didn't think we'd see you this year. How honoured we are! It's already Tuesday here, so it's your birthday tomorrow. I thought I might go and stone some sinners for your birthday. I hope you will like that.
Your adoring fan,
Widow Irene.
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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-24-2013, 02:27 AM
Oh! Oh!

Dear Merciful Jesus, sir -

My , my ... my reason for living! I only exist to glorify You! Thank You ever so much for gracing this humble forum with Your omnipresence.

For Your gift, I am tithing this month's mortgage payment to LBC, which I hear is Your favorite church. I also plan on publicly rebuking the You-mocking whores and blasphemers who have the nerve every year to patronize Seamus O'Sinner's Public House on the eve of Your birthday (it's not open Christmas Day or else those drunkards would be saucing it up then as well).

If there is anything else You want from me (do You enjoy fresh pie?), You have only to ask; I am Yours for the taking!

In Complete and Perfect Adoration
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

1 Corinthians 11:3 | Ephesians 5:22
Now glorifying GOD on the Twitter! Follow me at @MrsPaddyMcIrish!
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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-24-2013, 03:24 AM
Lord Jesus, it's wonderful to see You again! I have lots of questions, but I don't want to annoy You. Therefore, I will quietly pray, and I'm sure the answers will be made clear to me.

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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-24-2013, 03:56 AM
The Fairest of 10,000, Ruler of all Nations...at Your Holy Feet we do bow...



Thanks for stopping in, King of Kings. We know it gets busy managing the entire universe like You do.

Your faithful servant,

Pastor Ed


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Default Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake - 12-24-2013, 03:57 AM
Hosanna, Lord: I love You, and have pledged my entire life to You. Please keep Your eyes upon me, and grant me True Christianity someday. If I am not meant to be a wife and mother, please help Mother and Father find a suitable housekeeping or cook position for me. Your pleasure is my only goal. Again, I love You. Praise You. Oh bless the Lord, my soul, His mercies bear in mind, forget not all His benefits, the Lord to thee is kind. NRL

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