Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Satan's Entertainment
Reload this Page Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing.
Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs up Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 01-28-2013, 06:15 AM

Why has Hollywood waited so long to release this gem to the public? Some say it was to cash in on Jeremy Renner's rising fame. Personally, I think it was to tweak the establishment's nose at this glaring snub for best picture Oscar.




The world Hansel and Gretel occupy is that of a medieval time, but at the same time they incorporate modern weapons, like pump action shotguns and machine guns. A sort of renaissance fair steam punk.

The animators of this movie were clearly guided by God's own hand when they made this green screen masterpiece. My only complaint with the special effects is that the actors' clothing was clearly not computer generated.

The action sequences involving high wire kung fu are fast paced, yet fresh and original. They do involve some mild violence, but after watching the Passion of the Christ 145 times, it seems a bit tame.

Hansel and Gretal's quest? Killing witches. The pair are celebrity witch hunters, much like our own beloved Pastor. They travel the world hunting witches and they are thanked for it! Unlike a certain movie reviewer who gets sued over baiting bear traps with Oreos outside of known Wiccan meeting places.

Interspersed with the great action sequences is the heart of this movie, its message

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Hansel is also the world's first diabetic. His punishment from God for being a glutton and eating too much candy as a child. He has since repented and lives thanks to God's grace and insulin injections.

The witches are easy to spot in the movie as they are in real life. They are powder white skinned and wear a lot of black like goths, punks, emos and other assorted strange outcasts of society.



Writer/director Tommy Wirkola delivers poignant and frightening dialog by slowing down Famke Janssen's voice so you know how evil she is with such lines as, "I'm not... going to... kill you..., yet. That...would...be...too...easy."

Brothers and sisters, this is the greatest True Christian™ cinema experience since Battleship.

So take the family and go see this movie today!


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 01-28-2013, 01:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
The animators of this movie were clearly guided by God's own hand when they made this green screen masterpiece. My only complaint with the special effects is that the actors' clothing was clearly not computer generated.
With your recommendation I will certainly watch this movie. The names sound German and Germans have demonstrated on many occasions that they are capable of effectively and efficiently killing unbelievers. Something even America could learn to do better.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 01-28-2013, 05:32 PM

GLORY! Hansel and Gretal is terrific family entertainment. The scene were the teenage goth she-witch is tearfully begging for her life and Hanse just smashes her skull in with a hammer is just perfect and will bring a shout of "PRAISE!" from any good Christian watching it. Hansle and Gretal is two and half hours of two Godly prayer warriors hunting down and stalking witches and other freaks and delivering God's judgment to them.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 01-28-2013, 08:28 PM

I was done with Hansel und Gretel around age five. I'm sure it's a super movie for children but I will not be attending this one.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Bjorn Jensen's Avatar
Bjorn Jensen Bjorn Jensen is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Honorary Ex-Eskimo True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus Saved 1 Year Public Awareness Medal TC Bravery Pro-Life Christian Love 2014 Witch Hunt Award Anti-sodomy 2015 Witch Hunt Award Jailed for JESUS Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Ex-Scandinavian Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 03-03-2013, 12:50 PM

I just took my kids to watch this movie, they loved it, a great piece of Christian cinema for the whole family. My kids are so much looking forward to the upcoming Freehold witch hunt now!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Heart of compassion Eats the Most Pork Truck Stop Ministry Member Donald Trump 2016! Mower Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review: 'Hansel and Gretel great cinema with a positive message of witch killing. - 03-03-2013, 01:41 PM

My wife reads this very old story to my children sometimes.
We changed the end so that the children die in the fire and get eaten because they were not Christian.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
true cristian movie, witch hunt, witch scum

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved