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  • Hello to yall gud Bible folks

    I is Damien. I come up here wit Mama Johnson ta be wit real church folk. Bible beleavin Christien folk woo rely beleav in da Lawd. I ain't got much fo school'n, but i got a mity strong body and i is willin to work. I's be's hop'n ta get some lernin at you Bible school cos i ain't got da mony fo no big city school hous. i's wanna be da firs n ma fambly ta get a diploma.

    I ben workin n Demoyins at da junk yard tempararly but i was hopin i be abul ta get job do'n da grass, cleanin da halls n stuff at da church. i's be reel strong to. i can cary stuf reel gud.

  • #2
    Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

    Welcome to God's favorite forum, boy. I couldn't understand much of what you said, but if you're looking for work, I might need a new pool boy pretty soon. Come around my estate tonight after 11. I want to see what you look like in a Speedo can do with your hands.

    Be sure and use the servant entrance.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

      Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
      I is Damien. I come up here wit Mama Johnson ta be wit real church folk. Bible beleavin Christien folk woo rely beleav in da Lawd. I ain't got much fo school'n, but i got a mity strong body and i is willin to work. I's be's hop'n ta get some lernin at you Bible school cos i ain't got da mony fo no big city school hous. i's wanna be da firs n ma fambly ta get a diploma.

      I ben workin n Demoyins at da junk yard tempararly but i was hopin i be abul ta get job do'n da grass, cleanin da halls n stuff at da church. i's be reel strong to. i can cary stuf reel gud.
      Welcome Damien. Are you able to read proper English or would you prefer me to speak in your native tongue?. You've made a fine decision to come here. You'll have to ask the Pastors if you can help out with the more menial chores.

      Your first step to self improvement will be to go through the ex-Negro program. That should prepare you to be able to get your GED. If you're VERY smart then maybe you can get into one of those Historically Black colleges that offer an inferior education but are politically correct come hiring time.

      One word of advice, stay away from the white women. It can only bring you trouble.

      Good luck Damien!

      Yours in Christ
      Brother Lazarus
      In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Welcome to God's favorite forum, boy. I couldn't understand much of what you said, but if you're looking for work, I might need a new pool boy pretty soon. Come around my estate tonight after 11. I want to see what you look like in a Speedo can do with your hands.

        Be sure and use the servant entrance.
        I don no nutin bout no pools Mister Ezekiel. But i put a foto n ma profile page. I got mony bak home to tak som fotos from dis artsy typ bout a yir ago. Wi yu ned dat foto Mister Ezekiel?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

          Rest assured my boy in the firm knowledge that Paster Zeke will plumb the depths of your knowledge and inject some smart reasoning into your folksy vernacular....

          and welcome to the big house! (of Gods that is not the other kind)

          I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

            Originally posted by Brother Lazarus View Post
            Welcome Damien. Are you able to read proper English or would you prefer me to speak in your native tongue?. You've made a fine decision to come here. You'll have to ask the Pastors if you can help out with the more menial chores.

            Your first step to self improvement will be to go through the ex-Negro program. That should prepare you to be able to get your GED. If you're VERY smart then maybe you can get into one of those Historically Black colleges that offer an inferior education but are politically correct come hiring time.

            One word of advice, stay away from the white women. It can only bring your trouble.

            Good luck Damien!

            Yours in Christ
            Brother Lazarus
            Thank ya sir fo yo kind wurds. Yu peples sur is frendly folk. Ain't no whit womens wer i's is from. no sir. So how i gets n dat ex-negro program?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

              Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
              I is Damien. I come up here wit Mama Johnson ta be wit real church folk. Bible beleavin Christien folk woo rely beleav in da Lawd. I ain't got much fo school'n, but i got a mity strong body and i is willin to work. I's be's hop'n ta get some lernin at you Bible school cos i ain't got da mony fo no big city school hous. i's wanna be da firs n ma fambly ta get a diploma.

              I ben workin n Demoyins at da junk yard tempararly but i was hopin i be abul ta get job do'n da grass, cleanin da halls n stuff at da church. i's be reel strong to. i can cary stuf reel gud.
              Mercy on me!
              Yous unsaved trash ! Yous the debil hiself!. Mr Sam cleans up at da landober and yous better finds youself somebin else!
              Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
                I is Damien. I come up here wit Mama Johnson ta be wit real church folk. Bible beleavin Christien folk woo rely beleav in da Lawd. I ain't got much fo school'n, but i got a mity strong body and i is willin to work. I's be's hop'n ta get some lernin at you Bible school cos i ain't got da mony fo no big city school hous. i's wanna be da firs n ma fambly ta get a diploma.

                I ben workin n Demoyins at da junk yard tempararly but i was hopin i be abul ta get job do'n da grass, cleanin da halls n stuff at da church. i's be reel strong to. i can cary stuf reel gud.

                Lawd hab mercy , eyes donno no colored fellow named no Damien. Missa Massa Passa, Mr Sam will gives yous all da works you need. Don let no outside trash mosey on into da landober. You don have enoughs folding cahirs for us colored folks as it is!
                Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                  Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
                  I ben workin n Demoyins at da junk yard tempararly but i was hopin i be abul ta get job do'n da grass, cleanin da halls n stuff at da church. i's be reel strong to. i can cary stuf reel gud.
                  Hi damien maybe we can do the grass together i got layed off at land of goshen Christian lawn care and the pastors keep telling me that if i keep up on my tithes then maybe God will bless me with a job doing the church lawn.

                  Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
                  I don no nutin bout no pools Mister Ezekiel. But i put a foto n ma profile page. I got mony bak home to tak som fotos from dis artsy typ bout a yir ago. Wi yu ned dat foto Mister Ezekiel?
                  Now dont get uppity to the pastors we have to do what they say even if it seems not quite right to us its like they keep telling me thats the way God wants it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                    Hey there boy. I pay in fried chicken and watermelon if you stop by and clean my windows and pick the cotton out on the back forty. Praise Jesus!!!
                    I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                      Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
                      Lawd hab mercy , eyes donno no colored fellow named no Damien. Missa Massa Passa, Mr Sam will gives yous all da works you need. Don let no outside trash mosey on into da landober. You don have enoughs folding cahirs for us colored folks as it is!
                      Is me Mama Johnson! I's Cornbread!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                        Originally posted by Jimmy-Roy Stewart View Post
                        Hi damien maybe we can do the grass together i got layed off at land of goshen Christian lawn care and the pastors keep telling me that if i keep up on my tithes then maybe God will bless me with a job doing the church lawn.

                        Now dont get uppity to the pastors we have to do what they say even if it seems not quite right to us its like they keep telling me thats the way God wants it.
                        I's ain't uppity. I jus acts da man a Q.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                          Originally posted by Brian Dyk View Post
                          Hey there boy. I pay in fried chicken and watermelon if you stop by and clean my windows and pick the cotton out on the back forty. Praise Jesus!!!
                          Go back to your corner of hell, Mr Dyk.....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hello to yall gud Bible folks

                            Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
                            Is me Mama Johnson! I's Cornbread!!!
                            You sho you not Beezers boy Henrys? Hes da one dats stole da Evian watah fors da baptismal last weeks.
                            Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

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