The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 04:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Dear Commie Harlot;
This is the INTRODUCTION section. That means you INTRODUCE yourself. You give us your name, age, gender, hometown, and the name of the Church you were raised in. We want to know about the sins you've wallowed in. We want to know about your walk with Christ.
This is not the "ask random question" section. Pay attention.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
YIC,
--Pastor Ezekiel
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Most esteemed Pastor,
What better method of introduction, to draw in the seeker?
Born in GODs country (Iowa), I now travel from place to place as instructed. Yes I am in Commie Canada, no I do not question the Divine plan. As you should not question how it came to be that these words come to you this day.
You ask for me to reveal my sins to you. Unlike you I am not a former masturbator, do not carry the heavy burden of sin where I walk.
YOU shall keep a respectful tongue in head as you address me. I born of pure lineage, taking form, blue haired and blonde eyed have not fallen prey to the works of Satan such as yourself.
I here pray to Father for your soul. Pray you are not so weak in the future to fall under Satan's cause as you have in the past. Your repentance IS expected. Sacrifice and ponder for the rest of your days so that you may, just MAY be forgiven.
Lamb, do not assume you know with whom you speak!
May GOD bless you,
Mary
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 04:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
Most esteemed Pastor,
What better method of introduction, to draw in the seeker?
Born in GODs country (Iowa), I now travel from place to place as instructed. Yes I am in Commie Canada, no I do not question the Divine plan. As you should not question how it came to be that these words come to you this day.
You ask for me to reveal my sins to you. Unlike you I am not a former masturbator, do not carry the heavy burden of sin where I walk.
YOU shall keep a respectful tongue in head as you address me. I born of pure lineage, taking form, blue haired and blonde eyed have not fallen prey to the works of Satan such as yourself.
I here pray to Father for your soul. Pray you are not so weak in the future to fall under Satan's cause as you have in the past. Your repentance IS expected. Sacrifice and ponder for the rest of your days so that you may, just MAY be forgiven.
Lamb, do not assume you know with whom you speak!
May GOD bless you,
Mary
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Wow, that was unwise if you expect to stay here for long.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 04:40 AM
Ahem!
1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Wow, that was unwise if you expect to stay here for long.
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Small truths worded. Run and shun, or embrace with grace. Free will is yours to do with as you so choose, til Kingdom Cometh.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
Ahem!
1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
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All too many a miracle go unnoticed. You must open your love, for closed eyes cannot see. All before the molded clay is not the way it would seem. Thrust upon thee, Lord tests the faith of his lamb. All too many a miracle ending in bitter respite.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
All too many a miracle go unnoticed. You must open your love, for closed eyes cannot see. All before the molded clay is not the way it would seem. Thrust upon thee, Lord tests the faith of his lamb. All too many a miracle ending in bitter respite.
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None of that is in the Bible. Are you on the marijuana or something? I hear the fags hang out at public bathrooms up there and make people shoot the marijuana through holes in the bathroom stalls.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
You must open your love
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Is this some Geisha-Talk for being a whore?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
None of that is in the Bible. Are you on the marijuana or something? I hear the fags hang out at public bathrooms up there and make people shoot the marijuana through holes in the bathroom stalls.
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The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written. Do not fear the fag in the bathroom stall, for you are gifted with free will, and therefore the fag cannot MAKE you do anything. Your GOD given free will is your strongest weapon to fight Satan.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written. Do not fear the fag in the bathroom stall, for you are gifted with free will, and therefore the fag cannot MAKE you do anything. Your GOD given free will is your strongest weapon to fight Satan.
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Are you a Geisha?
But I digress. Clearly your mind is addled from the marijuana, because we know with absolute certainty there will never be more Scriptures written.
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Is this some Geisha-Talk for being a whore?
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Pardon me? Miss gushing for Jesus. If I have ever heard a more suggestive reference to whoredom I do not recall.
May GOD bless that wizard sleeve you bear, drooping and lose, over abused and scarred by time.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
Small truths worded. Run and shun, or embrace with grace. Free will is yours to do with as you so choose, til Kingdom Cometh.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
All too many a miracle go unnoticed. You must open your love, for closed eyes cannot see. All before the molded clay is not the way it would seem. Thrust upon thee, Lord tests the faith of his lamb. All too many a miracle ending in bitter respite.
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Blah blah blah. Scripture or STFU, thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written...
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Bible says NO.
Revelation 22:18 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:"
An apology to Pastor Zeke for backsassing him in his own house would be a really smart move right about now <hint hint>.
edit: and one to Mary for that unfounded aspersion on a True Christian™ lady. Didn't your parents teach you how to be a good guest?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
Most esteemed Pastor,
What better method of introduction, to draw in the seeker?
Born in GODs country (Iowa), I now travel from place to place as instructed. Yes I am in Commie Canada, no I do not question the Divine plan. As you should not question how it came to be that these words come to you this day.
You ask for me to reveal my sins to you. Unlike you I am not a former masturbator, do not carry the heavy burden of sin where I walk.
YOU shall keep a respectful tongue in head as you address me. I born of pure lineage, taking form, blue haired and blonde eyed have not fallen prey to the works of Satan such as yourself.
I here pray to Father for your soul. Pray you are not so weak in the future to fall under Satan's cause as you have in the past. Your repentance IS expected. Sacrifice and ponder for the rest of your days so that you may, just MAY be forgiven.
Lamb, do not assume you know with whom you speak!
May GOD bless you,
Mary
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Keep a civil tongue, you loquacious twat!
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,336
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written. Do not fear the fag in the bathroom stall, for you are gifted with free will, and therefore the fag cannot MAKE you do anything. Your GOD given free will is your strongest weapon to fight Satan.
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Dear Sinner,
We acknowledge the authority of the KJV Bible. If you wish to present other types of proof, we would appreciate actual observational evidence AND Scripture of the kind that can actually be assessed.
Other "Scriptures" that do not exist, have perhaps never existed not ever will are not evidence. They are at the moment your personal fantasies. I give you the benefit of doubt: They could be real. In that improbable case, you should be able to reproduce them, be able to provide the provenance of these "Scriptures" and give detailed accounts how to assess their Divine origins. As for now, you are giving us some emotionally appealing but subjective claims.
The same took place when Jesus was on Earth
Matthew 4:8-11
Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 05:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
Are you a Geisha?
But I digress. Clearly your mind is addled from the marijuana, because we know with absolute certainty there will never be more Scriptures written.
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
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You missed the word "Ye". No YOU shall not add to nor defile the word of GOD. GOD can and will do so if so sees fit however.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 06:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
You missed the word "Ye". No YOU shall not add to nor defile the word of GOD. GOD can and will do so if so sees fit however.
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In which case, every Bible in the world would change to reflect that, and... that's not happening.
So, those apologies? Jesus could (according to the Bible) kill you at any time, you know, and being on Zeke's bad side when that happens can't be a good thing...
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 06:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
In which case, every Bible in the world would change to reflect that, and... that's not happening.
So, those apologies? Jesus could (according to the Bible) kill you at any time, you know, and being on Zeke's bad side when that happens can't be a good thing...
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This ill mannered slut is going to get the ax, I just know it.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 06:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Dear Sinner,
We acknowledge the authority of the KJV Bible. If you wish to present other types of proof, we would appreciate actual observational evidence AND Scripture of the kind that can actually be assessed.
Other "Scriptures" that do not exist, have perhaps never existed not ever will are not evidence. They are at the moment your personal fantasies. I give you the benefit of doubt: They could be real. In that improbable case, you should be able to reproduce them, be able to provide the provenance of these "Scriptures" and give detailed accounts how to assess their Divine origins. As for now, you are giving us some emotionally appealing but subjective claims.
The same took place when Jesus was on Earth
Matthew 4:8-11
Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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I most graciously appreciate your intelligent approach to this matter. I refer directly to the old Testaments in which the foundations for the King James version of the Holy bible lay. As well the oldest known scriptures we have in possession today are the "Dead sea scrolls" which clearly point to other scriptures we as Mankind have not discovered and have been lost to time. Most pointedly put in several occurrences in the old testaments GOD will enlighten his creations with more knowledge when Kingdom come.
Perhaps I was out of line when I retaliated against the lady whom found it necessary to call a virgin girl a whore. I do apologize.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 06:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Blah blah blah. Scripture or STFU, thanks.
Bible says NO.
Revelation 22:18 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:"
An apology to Pastor Zeke for backsassing him in his own house would be a really smart move right about now <hint hint>.
edit: and one to Mary for that unfounded aspersion on a True Christian™ lady. Didn't your parents teach you how to be a good guest?
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If it is scripture you desire, open your book.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 06:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
If it is scripture you desire, open your book.
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Scripture is used to justify ALL claims here, honey.
But just for shits and giggles, let's follow your train wreck of thought that God somehow omitted vital information from the KJV.
If that was the case, what would be the point of following ANY of the present Bible, seeing as it could be countermanded by the revisions?
Leaving us to guess as to what is required for salvation would be the action of a sociopath. Would you seriously worship such a sadistic monster, and just, why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SovietCanukistanian
...the lady whom found it necessary...
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STOP THAT.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 25
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Born in Iowa, travelling with word. Currently walking desolate plains of the north country
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Re: couple questions -
07-29-2015, 07:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Scripture is used to justify ALL claims here, honey.
But just for shits and giggles, let's follow your train wreck of thought that God somehow omitted vital information from the KJV.
If that was the case, what would be the point of following ANY of the present Bible, seeing as it could be countermanded by the revisions?
Leaving us to guess as to what is required for salvation would be the action of a sociopath. Would you seriously worship such a sadistic monster, and just, why?
Oh, STOP THAT.
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First of all I am not honey, I am Mary. Second of all your foul language is far from justified.
If GOD so saw fit to enlighten you more, lamb, with more knowledge than you currently hold, that is no justification for discarding his earlier teachings. Your logic is flawed. Just because your mind cannot see that it is entirely possible for more teaching to come from GOD than what you already posses does not make it so.
Nor does it make GOD a sadistic monster as you say. Who are you to suppose you know of our Lord's Divine plan?
Are you so blind to believe that GOD wrote the KJV of the Bible with his own hand? If that were true, every quote from the bible would be attributed to GOD, not one of his saints. You might notice the title of that said collection of scripture.. "King James" not "GOD".
We walk a path of discovery, and who are you to say you have discovered all of what GOD has laid out to be discovered?
You sir are a simpleton. And clearly do not interpret the words of our Father as intended.
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