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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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wwjd78 wwjd78 is offline
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Default hello!!! - 07-24-2015, 10:12 PM

Hello, good days! I am very happy to have found a place that follows the book of God as it was written. I think I may have found a home!!
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: hello!!! - 07-24-2015, 10:16 PM

Hello, wwjd78, and welcome to our friendly forums! Say, why don't you tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: hello!!! - 07-24-2015, 10:26 PM

Welcome, young lady! I assume you are but a female because, as dear Sister Mary pointed out, you were unable to concentrate and properly introduce yourself as politely requested at the top of this forum.

In any event, as for "finding a home", this remains to be seen. I pray your heart is sincere but, as I am certain you can imagine, we get vast hordes of filthy atheist scum that join only to mock God and spit on His son, our precious Savior.

We will soon see what is in your heart and if you truly walk with God.

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: hello!!! - 07-24-2015, 10:59 PM

I assure I am a man, as I am warming up my beating arm now. I prefer windmills. She had better have dinner waiting for me when I get home.
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Grammar Nazi Re: hello!!! - 07-25-2015, 12:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wwjd78 View Post
I assure I am a man, as I am warming up my beating arm now. I prefer windmills. She had better have dinner waiting for me when I get home.
I'd like to have faith in your word but without irrefutable proof, I cannot simply 'believe you' because you say so.
Please, we have no interest in your 'beating arm' as this is a family forum and not PowerQueers.com


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: hello!!! - 07-25-2015, 02:27 AM

This is called the INTRODUCTION section for a reason. Please give us your name, age, gender, hometown, and the name of the Church you attend. Share some testimony about the sins you have wrestled with over the years. Compulsive masturbation? Yearning for your neighbor's ass? Associating with hook-nosed joos? Experimenting with sodomy perhaps?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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