The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash, obese whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: in bed stuffing my face with Oreos
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Hello there -
07-20-2015, 12:37 AM
Hi.
I go to Central United Methodist Church.
My favorite Bible verse is 2 Samuel 22:31.
I'm a Christian by birth.
Before you ask what I have done recently for Jesus, let me just say that I haven't done anything for Jesus because I don't do anything. Period. Except just lay in bed and watch TV.
My hobbies are gaming, programming and playing with my two Miniature Schnauzers, Maya and Schnazzanardo(Schnazzy for short).
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello there -
07-20-2015, 01:00 AM
No one is a Christian by birth. Mankind is born into sin (Psalm 51:5), a concept a Bible Believing Christian knows and agrees with. You should rethink your laziness, as Jesus cares not about how you fee, but what you do for Him (Matthew 7:21).
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, obese whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: in bed stuffing my face with Oreos
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Re: Hello there -
07-20-2015, 01:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
No one is a Christian by birth. Mankind is born into sin (Psalm 51:5), a concept a Bible Believing Christian knows and agrees with. You should rethink your laziness, as Jesus cares not about how you fee, but what you do for Him (Matthew 7:21).
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1) By "Christian by Birth" I meant I was born into a Christian family.
2) My mom wouldn't let me go outside alone as a kid, so I guess the couch potato lifestyle was kind of forcibly burnt into my head with a solder gun.
By the way, about my infraction, how was I persecuting you? I was merely suggesting that I would write a game review. Nothing persecuting(is that usable as an adjective?) about that.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Unsaved trash, obese whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: in bed stuffing my face with Oreos
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Yelp! -
07-20-2015, 02:31 AM
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Yelp! -
07-20-2015, 02:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Check Mate
I'll have you know I'm from Yelp...
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Oh, you mean the internet's last bastion of reason and logic and taste and refinement and oh I'm sorry I can't keep this up with a straight face anymore, but a bad Yelp review OH NOOOOOOOEEEESSS.
Seriously, pal, Yelp vs. the creator of the universe?
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: Yelp! -
07-20-2015, 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Check Mate
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We care not a whit about your yuppie reviews. Who are you to presume to review God's handiwork? Was I you, I believe I'd get down off my high horse and get your story straight. God has a mighty anger for hateful hippies. He will send you right to Hell if you fool with Him.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Yelp! -
07-22-2015, 08:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Check Mate
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'Yelp', is that some sort of schnauzer cult? Sounds like some sort of catlic nazi thing. I want you to know, we do NOT tolerate your kind of racism here. We are decent and fair pure White people, made in Gods shadow.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Hello there -
07-22-2015, 11:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Check Mate
Hi.
I go to Central United Methodist Church.
Before you ask what I have done recently for Jesus, let me just say that I haven't done anything for Jesus because I don't do anything. Period. Except just lay in bed and watch TV.
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See, that's par for the course. Methodism is merely a glorified social club with inglorious attempts at respectability made by mentioning Jesus every few months.
You are living proof that it is not a religion, and certainly not The Religion.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Hello there -
07-23-2015, 08:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
See, that's par for the course. Methodism is merely a glorified social club with inglorious attempts at respectability made by mentioning Jesus every few months.
You are living proof that it is not a religion, and certainly not The Religion.
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In my country, Methodists are chiefly famed for their drug-fueled lifestyle and use of rent-boys, like this sorry specimen, the notorious Crystal Methodist:
Have you considered getting up out of bed and doing something constructive for Jesus dear, before you become so obese that you have to be cut out by the fire department?
Proverbs 21:25 The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello there -
07-23-2015, 10:30 AM
Hello Yelper, in which city do you Yelp? Are you active in the Yelp Talk forums?
And what do you do with yourself when you're not taking pictures of your food?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Currently going fast
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Re: Yelp! -
08-21-2015, 12:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
'Yelp', is that some sort of schnauzer cult? Sounds like some sort of catlic nazi thing. I want you to know, we do NOT tolerate your kind of racism here. We are decent and fair pure White people, made in Gods shadow.
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Schnauzer cult? What's that?
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