A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters!

[Paul Cooper]

Dear Fellow Brothers and Sisters,

I was at the Mall of the Bluffs earlier today and there were freaking SCIENTOLOGISTS THERE!!!! As an ADA to the great state of Iowa, I ignored this all until I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts and sent her along with her mother, and one of these jackholes solicited me for a "mood test."

I then fist-fought these unbelievers and mall security got involved. When it was revealed that I was an employee for our great State and that Scientologists and evil, I was left with only third degree battery charges.

My family and friends have decided to patrol the mall from the hours between 3pm-9pm. We are looking for others to patrol the morning hours. These Xenu fearing heathens should be wrangled out of our state or at least out of our malls, please feel free to join our watch of these stupid heathens. We are not sure if they're at other malls around the state but we do know that they've infested ours.

[WWJDnow]

Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters!

I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts

Thanks for your diligence. But aren't you worried that Girl Scouts will turn your daughter into a lesbian?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters!

I couldn't understand what it was talking about. All I got was an obscenity and a lot of clicks and grunts.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: A Call to Arms My Brothers and Sisters!

Dear Fellow Brothers and Sisters,

I was at the Mall of the Bluffs earlier today and there were freaking SCIENTOLOGISTS THERE!!!! As an ADA to the great state of Iowa, I ignored this all until I got my beloved daughter her uniform for Girl Scouts and sent her along with her mother, and one of these jackholes solicited me for a "mood test."

I then fist-fought these unbelievers and mall security got involved. When it was revealed that I was an employee for our great State and that Scientologists and evil, I was left with only third degree battery charges.

My family and friends have decided to patrol the mall from the hours between 3pm-9pm. We are looking for others to patrol the morning hours. These Xenu fearing heathens should be wrangled out of our state or at least out of our malls, please feel free to join our watch of these stupid heathens. We are not sure if they're at other malls around the state but we do know that they've infested ours.

My advice to you, boy, is to sell your daughter immediately and wire the cash ASAP to LBC c/o Pastor Ezekiel. Only a powerful white man firmly rooted in Christ can hope to combat such a menace, and money greases the gears of the war machine...so hop to it!