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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Arrow Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 01:50 PM

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Default 02-01-2007, 01:52 PM

A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed

Written for the Honour of the Fair Sex

by Jonathan Swift, 1731


Corinna, pride of Drury-Lane,
For whom no shepherd sighs in vain;
Never did Covent-Garden boast
So bright a batter'd strolling toast!
No drunken rake to pick her up,
No cellar where on tick to sup;
Returning at the midnight hour,
Four stories climbing to her bower;
Then, seated on a three-legg'd chair,
Takes off her artificial hair;
Now picking out a crystal eye,
She wipes it clean, and lays it by.
Her eyebrows from a mouse's hide
Stuck on with art on either side,
Pulls off with care, and first displays 'em,
Then in a play-book smoothly lays 'em.
Now dext'rously her plumpers draws,
That serve to fill her hollow jaws,
Untwists a wire, and from her gums
A set of teeth completely comes;
Pulls out the rags contrived to prop
Her flabby dugs, and down they drop.
Proceeding on, the lovely goddess
Unlaces next her steel-ribb'd bodice,
Which, by the operator's skill,
Press down the lumps, the hollows fill.
Up goes her hand, and off she slips
The bolsters that supply her hips;
With gentlest touch she next explores
Her chancres, issues, running sores;
Effects of many a sad disaster,
And then to each applies a plaster:
But must, before she goes to bed,
Rub off the daubs of white and red,
And smooth the furrows in her front
With greasy paper stuck upon't.
She takes a bolus ere she sleeps;
And then between two blankets creeps.
With pains of love tormented lies;
Or, if she chance to close her eyes,
Of Bridewell[1] and the Compter[1] dreams,
And feels the lash, and faintly screams;
Or, by a faithless bully drawn,
At some hedge-tavern lies in pawn;
Or to Jamaica[2] seems transported
Alone, and by no planter courted;
Or, near Fleet-ditch's oozy brinks,
Surrounded with a hundred stinks,
Belated, seems on watch to lie,
And snap some cully passing by;
Or, struck with fear, her fancy runs
On watchmen, constables, and duns,
From whom she meets with frequent rubs;
But never from religious clubs;
Whose favour she is sure to find,
Because she pays them all in kind.
Corinna wakes. A dreadful sight!
Behold the ruins of the night!
A wicked rat her plaster stole,
Half eat, and dragg'd it to his hole.
The crystal eye, alas! was miss'd;
And puss had on her plumpers p--st,
A pigeon pick'd her issue-pease:
And Shock, her tresses fill'd with fleas.
The nymph, though in this mangled plight
Must ev'ry morn her limbs unite.
But how shall I describe her arts
To re-collect the scatter'd parts?
Or show the anguish, toil, and pain,
Of gath'ring up herself again?
The bashful Muse will never bear
In such a scene to interfere.
Corinna, in the morning dizen'd,
Who sees, will spew; who smells, be poison'd.





Footnote 1:Bridewell and Compter were prisons to which harlots were sent,
and were made to beat hemp and pick oakum
and were whipped if they did not perform their tasks.

Footnote 2: Jamaica seems to have been regarded as a place of exile.

Last edited by Poetic Peter; 02-01-2007 at 01:56 PM.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 01:54 PM

You're saying she's a Curly Joo, Brother Peter?
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 01:54 PM

What a wonderful poem! All about our own Lilith!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
What a wonderful poem! All about our own Lilith!
Quote:
...And Shock her tresses fill'd with fleas....
Yep. Pastor Pistle is right again!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 02:00 PM

Lilith is a Curly Joo? Okay I guess that proves it then: Baby Jesus was a Snail
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 02:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Lilith is a Curly Joo? Okay I guess that proves it then: Baby Jesus was a Snail
I doubt you are snail-literate, SUV...so I am going to help you by providing some reference material. The picture is probably of Melanoides granifera, the very same that frenchies call escargot. Many people keep them as pets (er snails, not frenchies), but I am not sure they actually interact with humans in any meaningful way. We await your paper on the subject.

http://www.applesnail.net/


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 02:26 PM

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Lilith is a Curly Joo? Okay I guess that proves it then: Baby Jesus was a Snail
Jesus creeps?
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 02:54 PM

Pastor Pistle! Surely you're not suggesting that Jesus was....yellow?

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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 04:02 PM

I am get much private message ask for poem I am write last year for single forum for get dates. okay I am just post here for every one enjoy. As can see Japanese make good quality car and poem.

Life is much stormy sea
by Hitoshi Yamamoto

Life is much stormy sea.
I am ship needing find land.
oh honey give harbor to me.
I need girl is understand.
I am give very much love.
tetty bear hug so gentle squeeze.
You be Hitoshi's baby dove.
No fatty please.
so if is you want good time
respecting and honor from start
Honey Baby say you mine
I happy be captain of your heart.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 04:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Jesus creeps?
Jesus Crept.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 04:07 PM

Quote:
Life is much stormy sea
by Hitoshi Yamamoto
For crying out loud...a chink looking for love. Who's up next? We got any darkies looking for brains?

Dean

Last edited by Deaner; 02-01-2007 at 04:09 PM.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 06:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
What a wonderful poem! All about our own Lilith!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Yep. Pastor Pistle is right again!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post

No drunken rake to pick her up,
No cellar where on tick to sup;
Lilith sups ticks? I'd never heard it put that way before.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 07:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi View Post
I am get much private message ask for poem I am write last year for single forum for get dates. okay I am just post here for every one enjoy. As can see Japanese make crappy car and poem.

Life is much stormy sea
by Hitoshi Yamamoto

Life is much stormy sea.
I am ship needing find land.
oh honey give harbor to me.

"Loose Lips Sink Slips"


Not in our Diesel Powered US Navy
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 07:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Lilith sups ticks?
I'd never heard it put that way before.

Taking as our tack The Tick,
Lilith Innocent of shame,
Creeps the trails of tail and mane
To find, perchance, some Favoured place
Unclaimed by H------ of the Nip race.


Last edited by Poetic Peter; 02-01-2007 at 07:21 PM.
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 07:23 PM

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Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Pastor Pistle! Surely you're not suggesting that Jesus was....yellow?

IF YOU DO NOT STOP REFERRING TO OUR LORD JESUS AS SOMETHING THAT FRENCHIES SERVE IN A CHEESE SAUCE, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU SOOOOOO MANY DEMERITS!


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 08:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
IF YOU DO NOT STOP REFERRING TO OUR LORD JESUS AS SOMETHING THAT FRENCHIES SERVE IN A CHEESE SAUCE, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU SOOOOOO MANY DEMERITS!
Well.........? I see Him much more as being served in real creamery "drawn" butter, it being so very much classier than cheese!

Did I do Good? Did I do Good that time, huh, Pastor, huh, Pastor, huh?
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 09:01 PM

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Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Well.........? I see Him much more as being served in real creamery "drawn" butter, it being so very much classier than cheese!

Did I do Good? Did I do Good that time, huh, Pastor, huh, Pastor, huh?
It's disgusting. http://escargot.free.fr/fra/cuisine.htm


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-01-2007, 09:26 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I saw Him wiggle His little eye stalks at me!!!!!

Thank you, Pastor - Truly, you have Blessed me Richly

Richer than the creme (you must not spell it as 'cream') in Eclairs - Glory!!!
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Default Re: Place here your personal-favorite poems - 02-02-2007, 01:07 AM

One of the more romantic ones that I have come across in my short life on this earth:

Quote:
I love you more than a bee loves honey
I love you more than a jew loves money.


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