[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Brethren and Sistren,

Do you ever worry about bodily harm while hurtling through the sky towards Heaven during the Rapture? I know I sure do. You never know what might hit you... flying Bibles, flying shoes, cell phones, etc.

That is why I have invented the RaptureSuit® to help protect you while you are a projectile on your way to meet !

They are not yet in production so please feel free to share your suggestions before placing your order.

I am presently trying to devise a way for these suits to be worn under your clothes. They could have a pull string which immediately inflates your RaptureSuit once you realize The Rapture has begun and you are actually ascending to HEAVEN! GLORY!

[VictoryOS]

Will these be available in full figure sizes?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Will these be available in full figure sizes?

Of course, Sister! At excellent prices.

[VictoryOS]

Ok, put me down for two. When my Husband gets home I'll ask him what colors we want.

[MitzaLizalor]

They are really well done, Miss Johnson! And such a lovely range of hues (glad to see there's no purple or lavender available) in the lower selection.

Just one question, how body mass index affect buoyancy in the air? There are a lot of those quadcopter things whizzing around these days and although there'd be plenty of room inside yours perhaps some of His bigger boned flock would almost fill the suit even when inflated? Would they be less agile in the air?

[Alvin Moss]

Those are fetching suits, Sister. I always thought I'd hurtle torst Heaven in some kind of white robe or possibly my birthday suit. This new technology is welcome news. I'd like six in mixed colors.

[Regens Kuechl]

But I thought according to your popular american form of Rapture belief all true Christians will "fall out of their clothes" before bodily and naked descending to Heaven.

So what use would a Rapture suit have for safety while descending when Christians would fall out of them bevor floating toward eternal happiness with our Lord?

Sometimes I feel myself forced to think that Non-Catholic Christians Do not think theological matters through and that is the very reason they are Non-Catholic.

No offense meant of course, but this Rapture suit of your is an even more silly Idea than inventing asbestos diapers for Non-Baptized dieing babyes so that they suffer less from eternal Hellfire.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

But I thought according to your popular American form of Rapture belief all true Christians will "fall out of their clothes" before bodily and naked descending to Heaven.

Thanks for your opinion. If you could just see your way clear to mailing it to someone who gives a shit, that'd be peachy. Okay?

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

when Christians would fall out of them before floating toward eternal happiness with our Lord?
**** Crap *** **** Crap *** **** Crap *** **** boring Crap ***
Also - > dying babies

I enjoyed that^ Thanks for the inspiration Brother Ezekiel.

If I was going to fall out of something before floating towards eternal happiness I would hope it will be one of those suites.

OK? Thanks

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

But I thought according to your popular american form of Rapture belief all true Christians will "fall out of their clothes" before bodily and naked descending to Heaven.

So what use would a Rapture suit have for safety while descending when Christians would fall out of them bevor floating toward eternal happiness with our Lord?

Sometimes I feel myself forced to think that Non-Catholic Christians Do not think theological matters through and that is the very reason they are Non-Catholic.

No offense meant of course, but this Rapture suit of your is an even more silly Idea than inventing asbestos diapers for Non-Baptized dieing babyes so that they suffer less from eternal Hellfire.

Don't be ridiculous! Living in Austria with all those kangaroos and pandas must have made you half retarded. would never want to see any of us naked and floating through the air. Any woman would be offended and horrified seeing men's dangling bits whipping around in the air. It would be a sin! would never cause us to sin!

[Regens Kuechl]

Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson

Don't be ridiculous! Living in Austria with all those kangaroos and pandas must have made you half retarded. would never want to see any of us naked and floating through the air. Any woman would be offended and horrified seeing men's dangling bits whipping around in the air. It would be a sin! would never cause us to sin!

But God created Adam and Eve naked, didnt he? And Christian women, if offended, can always close their eyes during descending to heaven.
Finally I know that Jack Chick whom I know you believe is showing that raptured people fall out of their clothes at least in one tract I read.
(For I stumbled upon the site with his online tracts while searching for certain stimulating Websites befitting a Catholic Priest.)

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

And Christian women, if offended, can always close their eyes during descending to heaven.

We True Christian™ ladies have no plans to descend to anywhere, thank you very much. We leave that to you and your kind.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

Finally I know that Jack Chick whom I know you believe is showing that raptured people fall out of their clothes at least in one tract I read.

Awww he's trying to communicate, look everyone he's trying to communicate.

[I Man Rastafari]

You white people can be very funny sometimes. There is no rapture because heaven and hell are here on Earth. A man makes his own heaven or hell.

Those are fat Americans in Babylon and they are about to eat some pizzas so they are wearing loose clothes.

[Des]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

Those are fat Americans in Babylon and they are about to eat some pizzas so they are wearing loose clothes.

Are you sure they weren't trying to attract one of your kind?


After all, it is a well known fact that Negro women are the fattest in the world. No doubt a side effect of the inherent laziness of your race.

[I Man Rastafari]

Black men do not get in a hurry unless someone is chasing them or shooting at them. Most white people think this is laziness. But no it is not.

So as a man who appreciates different types of women let me explain a few things to you. A Black women are naturally big boned and so they have a lot of flesh and large bulging breasts sometimes with a little hair on them. That picture you have found is normal for beautiful Black women. White girls are skinny and have small breasts about the size of those on a fat white man. The white university girls like to smoke cigarettes and talk about injustices. The university health care plan pays for their birth control pills. Mexican girls have large breasts too and some are fat. Some are not fat and they don't really pay all that much attention to the priest.

Also- All cats are gray in they dark.

[Des]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

Black women are naturally big boned

And still I've yet to see a fat skeleton. Imagine that!

[Des]

Has he shut his melon hole and logged off for the day? I certainly hope so. You have no idea how much this woman is charging me to translate his grunts.

[I Man Rastafari]

Originally Posted by Des

Has he shut his melon hole and logged off for the day? I certainly hope so. You have no idea how much this woman is charging me to translate his grunts.

That is not a woman. That is one of the gorilla people from Africa. She has been cheating you. I speak the English very well.

[Des]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

That is not a woman. That is one of the gorilla people from Africa. She has been cheating you. I speak the English very well.

I'm fairly sure its Whoopi Goldberg. Looks just like her, has pics of her with Robin Williams (may Satan roast his soul), and since she has no talent or career it makes perfect sense that she would be willing to translate from Ooga Booga to English for a modest fee.