[Five Year Old Girl]

Gramma Sue,

I'm lost an I can't get home.

I was awl playin wif' Liddow Billy an' I tied his hand ta' the table on accounta he uses it too much an' like it's the wrong one. So, I'm awl like, Bad Liddow Billy you use your right hand ta' draw Jeevus on the notebook! He woun't want a picture that was drawed all wrong-handed an' stuff.

An' he tried, an' like he made Jeevus awl conky-wobbow, an' made Jeevus look like a eye on a stick. So, I said; "That's a bad picture of Jeevus you bad Liddow Billy," an' I like spanked his bad hand wif' a ruler about a hunert times.

An' I said; "Now you draw Jeevus right Liddow Billy, or I'ma punish you some more." An' awl he did was cry some more, so I said I'ma look for thuh hammer now, but it wasn't in the closet or behind thuh toilet seat at awl.

So, I comes back an' I says; "Okay Liddow Billy, Jeevus is gonna give you one more chance." An' he cries an' asks me to untie his hand, so I blew pepper on him an' he sneezed, only I sneezed to, so I got awl mad an' spanked him wif' thuh ruler some more.

An' then I says; "That's enough Liddow Billy, you draw Jeevus an' you do it now." So, Liddow Billy tooked out a pink crayon...

This time Mommy helped me look fer thuh hammer on accounta she was so mad he wanted ta' draw Jeevus wif' a pink crayon. So, I'ma get out the hammer and I start hittin' Liddow Billy on the bad hand, and he's awl cryin' an' stuff, and then he couldn't tawk no more on accounta I din't share my lemonaid wif' him.

So, I goes ta' give him a Pepper Doctor and he cries an' says he can't drinks it on accounta God says.

An' that's when Mommy gets really mad. She tells me it's bad enough I'ma play a wif' a left-hande liddow boy who makes Jeevus a pink eye, but now I'm playin' wif' mormings ta' boot. That makes her so mad she just gets awe red in thuh ears and shouts at me. She says; "That's enough about you liddle one; I'ma send you ta' thuh Bibow hat of thuh country."

She puts me ona plane wif' a sign that says; "Bad Little Girl - Likes Mormons," an' she sends me away.

I'm cold an' awe they eat here is big fish blubber wif' Chinese sauce.

It's cold.

I wanna go home!

[SUV]

GrammaR Sue will be pleased to help:

Ask JESUS what to do!

Always glad to be of help

[Five Year Old Girl]

Geez, Gramma sue you got even older than you were before. Are you sure you can help me?

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Five Year Old Girl

Geez, Gramma sue you got even older than you were before. Are you sure you can help me?

Heh-heh. You were five many years ago. And just look at that face! You must have more wrinkies than Methuselah now!

Unless you have been mightily Praising JESUS, of course. All who Live in His love (or, whatever!) are Sure to be Beautiful

Except maybe for some of our Preachers. But that's just to scare sinners with anyway

[Five Year Old Girl]

Silly Gramma Sue, stop lookin' in thuh mirror an' hewp me come home. I can't even see the fiowcrackers.