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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-28-2007, 06:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Ahh ... You refer to me. Thank you.
Aww ... so you knew I was talking about you in that post, didn't you, Pastor Pistle?



1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-28-2007, 06:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Aww ... so you knew I was talking about you in that post, didn't you, Pastor Pistle?

Everyone must have recognized that you described me exactly.

"I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency."

That's just how Dear Mrs. Pistle used to describe me before the horrible accident. How many times had I explained to her not to climb in the apple tree picking just the perfect apples for my pie while the wood chipper was running? Many, many times.

But the apples from that tree were exceptionally plump for several years thereafter; surely a sign from the Lord.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-28-2007, 06:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Everyone must have recognized that you described me exactly.

"I respect people who are articulate, can use the English language correctly and creatively, can be funny yet maintain consistency."

That's just how Dear Mrs. Pistle used to describe me before the horrible accident. How many times had I explained to her not to climb in the apple tree picking just the perfect apples for my pie while the wood chipper was running? Many, many times.

But the apples from that tree were exceptionally plump for several years thereafter; surely a sign from the Lord.
I am sooooo sorry to hear about the lovely Mrs. Pistle, Pastor! My condolences.

And yes! Surely a sign from God, those perfect apples in their season; for the Lord Jesus works in mysterious ways.



1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-28-2007, 10:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Secular reply:

We are sorry to hear of the tragic death of this pastor, husband and father. He will be missed by his congregation, his family and friends. He is survived by his two sons, who sustained minor injuries from the lightning.

Mainstream church reply:

We pray for the repose of the soul of Pastor William Clardy of Grace Fellowship Baptist Church, in Jesus' name, amen.
Can anyone even tell the difference between the seculiarists and the Anglican'ts anymore? They both hate Jesus so much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Catholic reply:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
And let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.
Amen.

May his soul and the souls of all the Faithful Departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
Wow. You managed to get through a whole post without invoking Mary! Is this a record?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
And for your information, my sense of humor is excellent. I am renowned amongst the congregation as a hilarious, knee-slapping pastor. In fact I've got a joke lined up for this coming Sunday's sermon based on Proverbs 17, verse 12 that will just slay.
How will the congregation be able to wait till Sunday?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-28-2007, 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post

Catholic reply:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord.
And let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.
Amen.

May his soul and the souls of all the Faithful Departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
Anglican (Episcopal) reply:

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer: The Burial of the Dead: Rite One)

Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord:
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer: The Burial of the Dead: Rite Two)

Rest eternal grant to him, O Lord:
And let light perpetual shine upon him.

May his soul, and all the souls of the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.



1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: God strikes down errant Pastor - 07-29-2007, 07:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Secular reply:

We are sorry to hear of the tragic death of this pastor, husband and father. He will be missed by his congregation, his family and friends. He is survived by his two sons, who sustained minor injuries from the lightning.

Mainstream church reply:

We pray for the repose of the soul of Pastor William Clardy of Grace Fellowship Baptist Church, in Jesus' name, amen.
Darwinist (Gene Pool Update) Reply:

Anyone with a modicum of intelligence knows not to seek refuge in a thunderstorm underneath a tree. Unfortunately this individual lived long enough to pass his genes along to two offspring, who survived.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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