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WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 01:21 PM
Following on from Elliot Mayfields excellent A musical question. What's a sackbut? Thread, I thought i'd start this 'WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE' Thread, to discuss which Musical Instruments are for True Christians ™, and which are UnGodly or Satanic (or for Queers).
Evil Instrument No 1 - The Kazoo
WikiPedia describes the Kazoo as "a device fitted that adds a "buzzing" timbral quality to a player's voice when one vocalizes into it. The kazoo is a type of mirliton - a device which modifies the sound of a person's voice by way of a vibrating membrane."
A 'Vibrating membrane'??? Does that sound like something you want your kids to play??
Let's have a look at one, shall we -
Now, I don't know what this looks like to you, but to me this looks like some sort of illegal device for smoking drugs!!!
Let's have a look at what a 'Crack Pipe' looks like, shall we -
Yes, a 'Kazoo' and a 'Crack Pipe' are the exact same thing!!
Remember, 'playing with' a Kazoo will turn your kids into junkies, drug-addicts and Homosexuals!
BEWARE!!
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 01:29 PM
The bagpipes. He must hate the bagpipes. I thought a sackbut was some kind of bagpipe at first.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 04:19 PM
The theremin--- pure evil. It's basically a kazoo with an electric plug. And take a look at the obscene statue behind the so-called "musician" in this video....
DISGUSTING!!
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 04:29 PM
The disgusting squeeze box
S'quze me for interrupting...I just HAD to.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 05:53 PM
I think this photo tells you everything you need to know about the Contrabass saxophone in Eb:
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 05:58 PM
God surely hates the electric guitar. It helps to produce that unGodly Rock n' Roll!
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 06:02 PM
I think Les Paul has secured his place in Hell by taking a perfectly good musical instrument like the guitar and turning it into the electrical abomination it has become today.
And all that screeching rock and roll music that resulted is offending the ears of Godly True Christians™ the world over to this very day!
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 06:03 PM
The worst instruments that God hates are those played by Satan and his minions.
For example -- and I surely hope there are no women present to see this -- in the photo below we see one of Satan's Booodist Tibetans holding a drum made out of a human skull and a whistle made out of a human leg:
Could any other photo more concretely show why the yellow Chinese are correct in ridding the world of the Tibetan miscreant?
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 06:22 PM
I heard that BANJOS were "of Satan" Right here on Landover's own Godly board, several years ago.
However, this shouldn't be anything for us White folk to have to worry about. Unless you were in the movie Deliverance.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
I heard that BANJOS were "of Satan" Right here on Landover's own Godly board, several years ago.
However, this shouldn't be anything for us White folk to have to worry about. Unless you were in the movie Deliverance.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 07:33 PM
I must say that God must be completely ticked off with the organ. All I ever heard was a droning wail 5 beats behind the choir. (Job:30:31: My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.*)
I recall a young but enthusiastic pastor telling me that the organ could sound like a violin <presses key = drone> or a trumpet <presses key = drone> or a bassoon <presses key = drone>. It was all the same infernal drone!
I was never so pleased as when Landover replaced that organ with the 96 piece symphony orchestra; all the instruments sound right now.
* Yes, yes, I know that there are other organs mentioned in the Bible but I feel that after 6,000 years of moaning wind, God deserves a little better!
Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 03-26-2010 at 05:24 PM.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 07:54 PM
The glass harmonica is used for conjuring ghosts:
Quote:
The word "glass harmonica" (also glassharmonica, glass armonica, Armonica de verre in French, Glasharmonika in German) refers to any instrument played by rubbing glass or crystal goblets or bowls. When Benjamin Franklin invented his mechanical version of the instrument, he called it the armonica, based on the Italian word "armonia", which means "harmony". The instrument consisting of a set of wine glasses (usually tuned with water) is generally known in English as "musical glasses" or "glass harp".
It can also be referred to as a "ghost fiddle".
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Quote:
A glass harp - or Seraphim -, the ancestor of the Glass harmonica being played in Rome, Italy. The rims of wine glasses filled with water are rubbed by the player's fingers to create the notes.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 07:56 PM
I also nominate the theremin. How can it even be an instrument if you never touch it?
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
The glass harmonica is used for conjuring ghosts:
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I'm sure the regular mouth harmonica is on God's list of evil instruments. They are commonly used by blues musicians, a form of music that has sent almost as many people to Hell as rock & roll has.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 08:20 PM
The digeridoo, supposedly the musical istruments of the Australio-Negroids, is surely a tool of Satan..... at least it LOOKS like Satan's tool.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 08:21 PM
I think it is silly to suggest that God hates any musical instrument but clearly there are a few that do give one cause for pause as it were.
There is no doubt that a Heavenly boy's choir is a thing of aural beauty whereas the Alpenhorn has some rather disturbing aspects to it. Swiss men in very odd clothing calling out to each other across the edelwiess... need I say more?
Bless you, my ethnomusicultogists,
Father Mo
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 08:29 PM
The cello is an instrument of evil which requires one to spread their legs, clamp down, then rub a stick (or "bow") across their crotch over and over, until the music reaches a climax.
Doctors have reported playing the cello can rupture the hymen, as well...so what else do we need to know?
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
The digeridoo... LOOKS like Satan's tool.
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Not sure how you would know what any of Satan's tools look like but I can tell you in civilised musical circles this instrument is referred to as the Digeri don't.
If you can't use an instrument to perform part of a Bach Mass than what good is it truly?
Bless you, my Abbolusionist,
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 09:34 PM
Has anyone mentioned The Jew's Harp yet?
This collection looks suspiciously like the seized drug paraphernalia we're constantly seeing in the news.
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Re: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DOES GOD HATE ?? -
12-04-2008, 10:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Has anyone mentioned The Jew's Harp yet?
This collection looks suspiciously like the seized drug paraphernalia we're constantly seeing in the news.
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The Jew Harp is most definetly an instrument of Satan, also known as 'The Coil', this wicked instrument is also being used by perverts as a Sexual Contraceptive Device - to kill unborn babies!!!
Disgusting!
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