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Default Re: Accept Jesus' love or Satan will rape you! - 03-13-2009, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus View Post
This is getting tedioius. I shall attempt a translation. I am from South Carolina so i have encountered this before. I "think" this is what Fred is attempting to communicate.

"It is not possible for you to be Stalwart because you appear to be a Homosexual. You seem to have a tendon issue in your wrist that the son of your neighbor is unable to cure. The ministrations of your neighbors son seem to cause a swelling."

I admit it is a very rough translation. My skills in this particular idiom are limited. I have no idea what he actually means by these words.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
you sissie talkin boy! the peeple knoes what I sed.
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Default Re: Accept Jesus' love or Satan will rape you! - 03-13-2009, 06:49 AM

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Originally Posted by ReverandFredBCastro View Post
you sissie talkin boy! the peeple knoes what I sed.
It took some work to translate, but I'm pretty sure you said, "If I can't write in English instead of in Liberal God-Mocker Retard, I think you should ban me."

I wholeheartedly agree.

This is a Christian church forum, not some gag site like The Onion. If you care to converse with us and learn the Truth about Jesus and what the Bible actually says, please stay. We're happy to help anyone with a genuine interest understand God's Word.

If you'd prefer to mock Christians and God, take your stereotypes and your caricatures elsewhere.

You've had all the chances you are going to get. Understand?


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Default Re: Accept Jesus' love or Satan will rape you! - 03-14-2009, 03:31 AM

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Originally Posted by ReverandFredBCastro View Post
you sissie talkin boy! the peeple knoes what I sed.
"I'm a sissy yalking boy, the paples cows stole my seed?"

Was I close?

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Default Re: Accept Jesus' love or Satan will rape you! - 03-14-2009, 03:53 AM

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Originally Posted by ChristianInNC View Post
"I'm a sissy yalking boy, the paples cows stole my seed?"

Was I close?


No. You translated the message from one rural dialect into another. Actually you translated from the swap land dialect found in Louisiana (the poster is NOT from Florida) into the dialect known as the “Beckley” dialect found in the coal country of south central West Virginia.

From what community college did you get your degree in rural American dialects?

Try this translation.

“You suspected homosexual that speaks with a lisp. My “kin folk” (“peeple” is a code word for “family”, often associated with incest) are aware of my message to you.” This is quite possibly a threat to engage in a feud. I’m surprised you didn’t notice this. I personally have taken precautions. I suggest you do the same.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus


In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

Last edited by Brother Lazarus; 03-14-2009 at 03:54 AM. Reason: additional translation tweak
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Default Re: Accept Jesus' love or Satan will rape you! - 08-27-2009, 11:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Everyone intuitively knows that Jesus loves us and will save us from eternal damnation if we only accept Him as our Lord. Yes, the Satan worshiping atheists, skeptics and non-Christian theists refuse this offer and still chooses damnation. What is wrong with these people? Are they insane?

Let me explain the situation to you atheists, skeptics and non-Christian theists this way; a man awakens in a windowless room naked, bent over a table and chained down. He has been kidnapped. The last thing he remembers was he was in a bar drinking, his drink tasted funny and then he passed out. He is utterly helpless. He is confused and disorientated. That naked man is you friend! You are utterly helpless, you are not the master of your own destiny, others are. You don’t even understand how you got there.

Another man slides up to the naked man. This man is dressed in pure white, has blonde hair and kindly blue eyes and is a nigger. The man in white tells the naked man that the man in white loves the naked man deeply. That the man in white wants to care for the naked man and make the naked man happy for all of his days. The man in white doesn’t care how the chained down naked man looks, how wealthy the naked man is or how old the naked man is, the man in white just loves the naked man. The man in white is Christ. Christ loves us all unconditionally!

But here is the catch, the man in white explains to the naked man. The naked man must love the man in white in return, no questions asked. If the naked man can’t do this the man in white will have to step aside and let the man in the gimp suite have his way with the naked man. The man in the gimp suite is lurking in the corner of the basement. The gimp is a vicious pervert, who will do cruel and terrible things to the naked man. The man in white is sorry for the naked man that The Gimp will torture the naked man but those are the rules the man in white made. The man in white’s hands are tied on this (metaphorically speaking). The choice is one the naked man must make.

Friend, the Gimp is Satan. He lurks in the corner of Christ’s basement just looking to have his evil way with you. The only thing that stops Satan is Christ. Now if you are an atheists, you spurn the man in white’s love and willingly let the Gimp come after you with his razor blade covered strap on! How foolish is this? Do you think you will enjoy this? No! Do you think the man in white wants to watch you bleed out your backside? No!

Yet this is what you atheists, unbelievers, skeptics, agnostics and non Christians theists are choosing! To be willingly be raped, torture and murdered by Satan! With every page of the Origin of the Species, God Delusion and the Koran you read you push the man in white away and wiggle your backside at the gimp! For you own self interest at lest love the man in white!

Yours in Christ,
Bobby-Joe Tabor
you make me think sir, but I am such a fool....


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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