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Smile THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th, APRIL 14th - 04-12-2010, 04:35 AM

2002 – A female suicide bomber "goes muslim" at the entrance to Jerusalem's Mahane Yehuda open-air market, killing 7 hellbound jews and muslims, and wounding 104. In "the religion of peace" suicide-bombing is the only job women are allowed to have.

1985 - Where's an abortionist when you actually need one? Brazillian harlot Jeísa Chiminazzo born.
Quote:
This is the one and only reason Rio was chosen to host the olympics. Disgusting.
1968 – Nerve gas accident at Skull Valley, Utah. 6,400 sheep on a nearby indian reservation are killed by nerve gas, lots of vegetarians whine. Overall 230 metric tons of nerve agent were dispersed during open-air tests. There were also 328 open-air tests of biological weapons, 74 dirty bomb tests, and the equivalent of eight intentional meltdowns of nuclear reactors. A few dead sheep is a small price to pay for such progress.

1961 – Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space in Vostok 3KA-2 (Vostok 1). A technicality - do Russians really count as human?

1955 – The "polio vaccine", developed by liberal-bias germunist Dr. Jonas Salk, is declared safe and effective. Safe? Of course water and a bit of food coloring is safe. Effective? Of course not. God sends plagues. It was prayer that wiped out polio.

1945 – US President Franklin D. Roosevelt dies while in office. He goes straight to hell.

1937 – Sir Frank Whittle ground-tests the first jet engine designed to power an aircraft at Rugby, England. Amazing that the same place that brought us the homosexual "sport" of Rugby also gave us that vital tool of international evangelism, the Private Jet.

1934 – The US Auto-Lite Strike begins. 1,350 national Guard Troops are sent in, including three machine-gun companies, sending two strikers to hell and leaving more than 200 injured.

1917 – German surrender-monkies surrender Vimy Ridge to the Canadian army, despite all the prayers of the "Evangelical Reformed Church" (see below).

1914 - An 11-day constitutional convention in Hot Springs, Arkansas, ends, founding the Assemblies of God false church. Now they are in the hot lava springs of HELL.

1882 - Germany: Another false church called the Evangelical Reformed Church is created by royal decree. Interestingly, Germany has not won a war since. Where is your "Gott" when you need him?

1877 – Transvaal: South African surrender-monkies surrender to British Empire. With a name starting with "trans", what do you expect? The move is ordained by God, South Africa is rich in gold, and as the Bible states: The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts. -Haggai 2:8

1864 – War of Northern Aggression: The Fort Pillow massacre: Confederate forces kill most African American soldiers that surrendered at Fort Pillow, Tennessee. Where's your "black Jesus" now?

"The blacks and their officers were shot down, bayoneted and put to the sword in cold blood... . Out of four hundred negro soldiers only about twenty survive! At least three hundred of them were destroyed after the surrender!" -New York Times, April 24 1864

This tough but fair disciplining of rebellious slaves is carried out under the orders of Major General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who is inspiration to at least one of us on this forum.

1861 – The War of Northern Aggression begins with Confederate forces firing on Fort Sumter, in the harbor of Charleston, South Carolina. They fired in self-defense, the fort was armed and coming right at them.

1776 – , North Carolina Provincial Congress authorizes its Congressional delegation to vote for independence from Britain. Note that this is according to the evolutionary theory of history, not Intelligent Design, which proves that America was intelligently designed by Jesus. (When they voted for Obama, they voted for independence from Real America. RIP South Carolina, America. 1776-2008)

1705 - Birth of William Cookworthy. A heathen quaker quack-doctor, he claimed that eating limes and sour kraut can cure scurvy, a plague God sent to sailers to punish their sodomy and masturbation. Thanks to him British people are still called "Limeys" and Germans are still called "krauts". That's his only REAL creation - two ethnic slurs. Unless you count the top tart "Vitamin C":

Quote:

I'd rather die of scurvy than listen to her music.
1633 – The formal inquest of Galileo Galilei by the Inquisition begins.
The Jesuits regarded the ideas about matter expressed by Galileo in The Dialogue as further evidence that his atomism was heretically inconsistent with the doctrine of the Eucharist. At the end of the trail Galileo will be found "vehemently suspect of heresy," namely of having held the opinions that the Sun lies motionless at the centre of the universe, that the Earth is not at its centre and moves, and that one may hold and defend an opinion as probable after it has been declared contrary to Holy Scripture.
Psalm 93:1, Psalm 96:10, and 1 Chronicles 16:30 state that "the world is firmly established, it cannot be moved." In the same manner, Psalm 104:5
says, "the Lord set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved." Further, Ecclesiastes 1:5 states that "And the sun rises and sets and returns to its place".

1606 – The Union Flag is adopted as the flag of Great Britain. Based on the flawed logic that two crosses are better than one, it just ends up making a big butthole. Now THIS is what a proper flag looks like:


1572 - French-born Swiss reformer Theodore Beza (John Calvin's successor) writes in a letter to Scottish reformer John Knox: "They whose citizenship is in heaven ought to have their whole dependence on heaven."

1204 – The Crusaders of the Fourth Crusade breach Constantinople's walls and enter the city.

Quote:

Where is your orthodox god now? Too busy making icons cry to defend your heretic lives?
811 - Birth of Muhammad al-Taqi, 9th of Islam's 12 heretic imams (plagerized from the 12 apostles). He died when he was 25. How great is your "allah" if he kills his 10th best buddy at the age of 25? Tell me muslims, does this prove your "allah" a jerk, or just nonexistant?

Quote:
FOOTNOTE: Don't believe scurvy and Polio are sent by God? Here are some Bible verses to consult:

Exodus 9:9-11 God punishes a sinful nation with Boils

Leviticus 14:34 God punshes a nation with "the plague of leprosy"

Num.11:33 For no obvious reason "the wrath of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD smote the people with a very great plague."

Num.14:36-37God killed those that murmured against him with a plague.

1 Samuel 5:6-12 God punshes an entire nation with hemorrhoids "in their secret parts."

2 Samuel 24:13 To punish theJews, God sends a pestilence, killing 70,000 men (and probably around 200,000 women and children).

2 Kings 5:27 God makes a man, and all of his decendents, lepers forever.


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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th - 04-12-2010, 11:43 AM

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 14th:

2007 - Turkey: At least 200,000 atheists riot against family-values, pro-religion candidate Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.
Quote:
You know, the USA sells cluster bombs to Turkey for just these situations...

The Streets of Istanbul running red with blood? We can only wish...
2005 – The Oregon Supreme Court nullifies marriage licenses issued to gay couples a year earlier by Multnomah County. This is the only reason your marriage has not been destroyed yet.
1994 – In a U.S. "friendly fire" incident during CLINTON'S Operation Provide Comfort in northern Iraq, two United States Air Force aircraft "mistakenly" shoot-down two United States Army helicopters, killing 26 people. That's 26 more people on the Clinton Bodycount.

1988 – Soviet surrender-monkeys sign an agreement pledging to withdraw its troops from Afghanistan.

1986 – God drops 1 kilogram (2.2 lb) hailstones on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92 hellbound muslims.

1986 – U.S. president Ronald Reagan orders major bombing raids against Libya, killing 60 hellbound muslims, including Muammar Gaddafi's 2-year-old daughter, Hanna. Was God aiming for a different kid named Hanna?

1958 – The Soviet satellite Sputnik 2 crashes into an angel and falls from orbit.
1956 – In Chicago, Illinois, videotape is first demonstrated. The medium that made porn mainstream came from Hussien Obama's hometown....Yeah, there's no connection there.
1942 - PERSECUTION! Detroit radio priest, Father Charles E. Coughlin is censured for anti-Semitism.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Charles E. Coughlin
On Kristallnacht in Germany: "Jewish persecution only followed after Christians first were persecuted."

""When we get through with the Jews in America, they'll think the treatment they received in Germany was nothing"
1941 – World War II: The Ustashe, a Croatian conservative organization, is put in charge of the Independent State of Croatia. They show the hippies what law and order is all about.

1940 -English Bible expositor Arthur W. Pink writes in a letter: "Nothing is too great and nothing is too small to commit into the hands of the Lord."

1935 – God sends the "Black Sunday Storm", the worst dust storm of the U.S. Dust Bowl. They should have found a Jonah to drown (see below, 1912). Eco-terrorists claim that farming methods, rather than God, caused the dust bowl, but the Bible proves them wrong: But the LORD sent out a great wind - Jonah 1:4

1927 – The first Volvo car premieres in Gothenburg, Sweden. Proof that Swedish socialism caused the Great Depression.

1912 – The British passenger liner RMS Titanic hits an iceberg in the North Atlantic at 11:40pm. The ship sinks the following morning with the loss of 1,517 lives. They could have saved 1,516 lives had they simply found a sinner named Jonah and thrown him overboard:

Jonah 1:4-15:
But the LORD sent out a great wind into the sea, and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken...
And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you...

So they took up Jonah, and cast him forth into the sea: and the sea ceased from her raging.
Quote:
Could hurricane Katrina have been prevented by having the Jonas Brothers drowned? The Bible says so.
1894 – Thomas Edison demonstrates the kinetoscope, a device for peep-show viewing using photographs that flip in sequence, a precursor to movies. Yes, that's right - peep-show. What liberal-bias historians forget to mention is that one of the first usages of this technology was for porn. Liberal-bias history textbooks are celebrating a pornographer!

1865 – U.S. President Abraham Lincoln is shot in Ford's Theatre by patriot John Wilkes Booth.


1860 – The first Pony Express rider reaches Sacramento, California. I bet it was immediately met by a Californian who wanted to marry the pony. What else would you expect from Cannibalfornia (see 1846 below).

1846 – The Donner Party of pioneers departs Springfield, Illinois, for California, on what will become a year-long journey of hardship and cannibalism. Obviously they were not Christians, because Jesus states that God will provide for Christians:
Matthew 6:25-26:

25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.
Somehow it's not surprising that California was founded by cannibals. In fact, California even has a statue glorifying the Cannibals of the Donner Party:

Quote:

They're searching for more people to eat.
1796 - Ascention to Heaven of Joseph Swain, 35, author of the hymn, "O Thou in Whose Presence My Soul Takes Delight." God loved him so much he wanted to have him in heaven before his time.

1775 – The first abolition society in North America is established. The Society for the Relief of Free Negroes Unlawfully Held in Bondage is organized in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania by Benjamin Franklin. Now you know why God never allowed him to be president. There is nothing "unlawful" about slavery under Biblical Law.

1699 – Khalsa: Birth of Khalsa, the brotherhood of the Sikh religion. The initiation process includes baptism, which is the intellectual property of the Baptist Church.

"Guru Gobind Singh addressed the congregation...He drew his sword and asked for a volunteer who was willing to sacrifice his head. ...Guru Gobind Singh took the volunteer inside the tent, and emerged shortly, with blood dripping from his sword. He then demanded another head. One more volunteer came forward, and entered the tent with him. Guru again emerged with blood on his sword. This happened three more times". That's right, being a Sikh means having no complaint when your Guru murders his own followers.

Quote:
I don't know which is worse: the fact that Sikhs sit there like sheep while their Guru murders people, or the fact that Sikhs painted a picture to glorify the fact that Sikhs sit there like sheep while their Guru murders people.
1205 – Fourth Crusade: Battle of Adrianople between Bulgarians and Crusaders. We had to fight the Bulgarians there rather than fight the Bulgarians here.

966 - With the baptism of Mieszko I, Poland becomes Christian. The last decent thing to happen in Poland.

73 - According to Jewish historian Josephus, 967 Jewish zealots committed self-murder within the fortress of Masada on this last night before the walls were breached by the attacking Roman Tenth Legion. Jews who commit murder - double hellbound.


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 04-13-2010 at 12:04 PM.
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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th - 04-12-2010, 04:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
73 - According to Jewish historian Josephus, 967 Jewish zealots committed self-murder within the fortress of Masada on this last night before the walls were breached by the attacking Roman Tenth Legion. Jews who commit murder - double hellbound.
Hmm, what do you all think happened to these Jews? They clearly rejected Jesus of home they had DIRECT personal knowledge that Christ is the Son of God. Then they become self murderers. Does God put them in the worst part of Hell like He does with Democrats?



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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th - 05-10-2010, 08:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Hmm, what do you all think happened to these Jews?
If there's a special section of hell for self-murderers, it would be filled with their fellow hook-noses, the arabs. Makes me wonder what animal their ancestor bred with to inherit all of those suicide genes. Do lemmings have hooked noses?


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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th - 05-10-2010, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
If there's a special section of hell for self-murderers, it would be filled with their fellow hook-noses, the arabs. Makes me wonder what animal their ancestor bred with to inherit all of those suicide genes. Do lemmings have hooked noses?
I had to go look it up, but yeah they sort of do...

http://www.animalwebguide.com/Lemming.htm


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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th - 05-10-2010, 11:06 PM

Quote:

1865 – U.S. President Abraham Lincoln is shot in Ford's Theatre by patriot John Wilkes Booth.

I thank you brother, for reminding me of this bright day in American History. That was the day when the Lord took it upon himself to direct the Republican Party into the path of His choosing.

As you point out elsewhere, the Bible does not forbid slavery and the Lord even convicted many of our Founding Fathers to defend its acceptance when our country was being created by Him. It was He who helped those True Christians present to hold out against the mislead liberals ( yeah, they were there, at the beginning of our country, already plotting its end) who wanted to fashion a nation where everyone was equal.

Agreeably Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: THIS DAY IN HISTORY: APRIL 12th, APRIL 14th - 05-11-2010, 08:34 PM

Interesting happenings on those dates!
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