Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 07:11 PM
I can't seem to see things that are right in front of my face.
I spent an hour today looking for my Makita drill so I could fix a tool that I needed for some garden work. I was able to find both batteries, the charger and the flashlight, but the drill was more elusive. I searched each room in my house multiple times and started to wonder whether one of my Mexicans took it. I even looked inside of the other tool boxes that already have different tools in them. I was desperate. I couldn't even remember the last time I used it.
Just as I was about to give up I went back to the first place I started looking and, surprise, there was my drill! I was almost ready to go out and buy another drill.
I used to joke and wonder why "you always find things in the last place you look," but I'm starting to wonder if it's more likely that I'm just blind and not seeing things that aren't lost and are right where they should be.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 07:46 PM
I can never find a drill when I need one.
But bright colours are more noticeable, and helps things to stand out for me. Here's a nice orange one:
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 08:05 PM
I think the drill had been taken by a false Christian and God, seeing your dilemma and stress, retrieved it for you and put it where you last left it, hence it being where you looked first.
Another miracle!
As a side note, you probaly ought to get rid of that chink drill and get a real one, like the Bosch or Milwaukee
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 08:47 PM
I like Dewalt tools, mostly because they're bright yellow and easy to see. Also, Black & Decker owns Dewalt, so they're American. Bosch is a German company, and while they're decent, they're blue and too hard to see.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 08:52 PM
I am always very careful to keep my drills and other rotary tools far away from my wife.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I am always very careful to keep my drills and other rotary tools far away from my wife.
|
That is very considerate, Mr Jenkins. At present I am having my house renovated so there are a lot of builders around, and they are much better with their tools than anything I can manage on my own.
|
|
As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 09:28 PM
Why not pray to Jesus for better eyes?
I Jesus!
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 09:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity
Why not pray to Jesus for better eyes?
|
I did do that, but there was some swearing involved, too, so I'm not very hopeful that my eyes are going to get better.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Claims not to be a dago slut Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
|
|
Posts: 1,307
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alcoy, Spain
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-20-2011, 11:07 PM
My grandafther have this kind of driller - this is what I'm using when I'm helping to him in the house in the country - these days I am stay whit them near Alcoy - not Alicante - cos he need the help and I'm a good worker too! I always were one!
I like the elegant blue's tone it have.
YIC, Mari
Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
My favorite verse from the Bible is:
- A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 12:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I can't seem to see things that are right in front of my face.
|
How old are you? You look about 75 and going down hill. That sort of thing comes with age. I know, I can give you a year or two.
If you ever get like that again, the trick is to mime the actions of what ever it is you're looking for, and you'll find it quick enough.
Pro Tip: If it's the katsup bottle and you'd shake it - keep your hand well above your waist...
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 12:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
You look about 75 and going down hill. That sort of thing comes with age.
|
Nonsense! I am 74 years old and my eyesight is still flawless. Nobar just needs to pray harder.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 12:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Nonsense! I am 74 years old and my eyesight is still flawless.
|
Meh! That's what my uncle Amos was saying when the 'phone rang and he picked up his wife's hot iron and said, "Hello!"
May be God thinks Nobar's seen enough of the sorrows and sins of this world.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 12:20 AM
Surely you old men should be dying soon. I'm sure Jesus can't wait to have you at His side.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 01:35 AM
Don't feel badly, Brother Nobar King. Only he who cannot see JESUS is truly blind
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 03:13 AM
I think when objects get misplaced it's really demons playing tricks on people so they THINK they are losing their eyesight or their minds.
I agree with the suggestion to pray harder! Also, ask JESUS to rid your house of demons. They are always waiting for any opportunity to crawl inside a rectum and make a person gay.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 11:54 AM
Brother Nobar, I would trust one of these in your hands at any time.
But, I shudder at the thought of a homer getting his hands on one.
I am going to write a letter to our Godly U.S. Senator, Charles Grassley, and demand he introduce legislation that would ban these items being sold to queers.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Claims not to be a dago slut Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
|
|
Posts: 1,307
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alcoy, Spain
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 12:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Brother Nobar, I would trust one of these in your hands at any time.
But, I shudder at the thought of a homer getting his hands on one.
I am going to write a letter to our Godly U.S. Senator, Charles Grassley, and demand he introduce legislation that would ban these items being sold to queers.
|
I like THAT!
Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
My favorite verse from the Bible is:
- A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 239
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pendle Hill United Kingdom
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
06-21-2011, 02:20 PM
I like my JCB drill again nice and bright
The Shela Tansper corrective school for boys 13 to 18 years old
King James Bible v1611 A passage a day keeps satan away
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
07-01-2011, 12:52 AM
It's getting worse: This week I lost my car key. I spent a couple of days combing thru all of the junk in my house (over and over again) and was starting to think that I was going crazy. I gave up looking for the key but it turns out that it fell out of my pocket at the Country Buffet and I saw it pinned to the wall behind the cash register when I went in for my weekly Thursday senior night all-you-can-eat turkey with gravy feast. I went back for seconds and thirds and a slice of apple, cherry, pumpkin, and chocolate cream pie. I'm sure they're losing money on me. Anyway, I got my key back and I gave the hostess a dollar for saving it for me. I haven't lost my key since I got my Ford truck seventeen years ago; hopefully this doesn't become a regular thing.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: Nobar King, you're blind as a bat! -
07-01-2011, 01:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
all-you-can-eat turkey with gravy feast. I went back for seconds and thirds and a slice of apple, cherry, pumpkin, and chocolate cream pie.
|
Oh, PRAISE!!!
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|