MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-13-2007, 10:48 PM
Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian™ sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never before witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-13-2007, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the right time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling before, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.
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Brother, if that be the case I shall be flying out tonight and extending my stay through next week! I am excited to see this Holiest of Holy events in action. I am honored by you and the LORD Jesus Christ!
God Bless,
Warrior in Christ
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-13-2007, 11:18 PM
Oh Glory!
Another SMACK DOWN for JESUS!!!
I hope Sister Tali takes it easy on me! She is a lot taller.
I better go limber up........
Rarin' to go, Sister Thumper
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-13-2007, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Oh Glory!
Another SMACK DOWN for JESUS!!!
I hope Sister Tali takes it easy on me! She is a lot taller.
I better go limber up........
Rarin' to go, Sister Thumper
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I'll pick up the Wesson Oil.
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-13-2007, 11:50 PM
I'll be there later tonight via military charter flight. I'm seeking residence in any Godly True Christian's home that is willing to hold me up for several days while I visit. If I like my stay I will most likely move in, seeing as the community is directly endorsed by God I don't think GWB and the rest of the military should have a problem with me moving in.
PM me with details if anyone can hold me up for a few nights,
God Bless,
Warrior in Christ
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-14-2007, 12:32 AM
Oh Glory Brother Warrior,
While you are here you should contact Marla Jennings. She is a very wonderful True Christian™ real estate agent.
There are some lovely properties here. You will be most impressed.
Sister Tali and I live in Apostles Grove.
Here is Marla Jennings Web-Site. Enjoy!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/REALESTATE/index.html
L ve, Sister Thumper
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-14-2007, 12:45 AM
Now sisters, let's not get carried away. This fine young soldier may be a strapping American Manly White Male, but if you'll notice, he is not yet a True Christian. I happen to know that sister Jennings does not sell to anyone without their Tither's Card, signed by myself or one of the other pastors.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't start thinking for yourselves here ladies....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-14-2007, 12:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Now sisters, let's not get carried away. This fine young soldier may be a strapping American Manly White Male, but if you'll notice, he is not yet a True Christian™. I happen to know that sister Jennings does not sell to anyone without their Tither's Card, signed by myself or one of the other pastors.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't start thinking for yourselves here ladies....
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Yes Brother, I suppose I have quite a way to go.
God Bless,
Warrior in Christ
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-14-2007, 12:49 AM
You are right Pastor.
I'm going to get off here now and go finish making your steak and potatoe. I'll bring you an ice cold beer in a minute.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-14-2007, 01:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior in Christ
I'm looking for a woman that is adept in the ways of the LORD and True Teachings™ of the Landover Baptist Church™. God Bless,
Warrior in Christ
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Of course, I'm a good Christian gal (and my husband is a good aim) but It would be delightful to have such a fine red blooded All-American visit my kitchen just to nibble on my Snickerdoodles while discussing church matters.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 01:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
Of course, I'm a good Christian gal (and my husband is a good aim) but It would be delightful to have such a fine red blooded All-American visit my kitchen just to nibble on my Snickerdoodles while discussing church matters.
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I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind if I brought over a couple of T-Bones for you to cook for us and we kicked back and watched some sports while you slaved away in the kitchen for hours, not saying a word, of course....
Thanks for the invitation!
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior in Christ
Hello, some of you already know me by now: My name is Corey, I'm an Army Infantry Specialist that operates within the Tenth Mountain Division in Iraq(i.e. Land of slain heathens) from time to time.
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Have I ever mentioned how much I loooove this country? Since I'm not a TC, I won't even bother trying...but at least let me watch you work out.
Moon
PS - Sister Tali's a hottie. She'd be perfect for you.
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 02:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Have I ever mentioned how much I loooove this country? Since I'm not a TC, I won't even bother trying...but at least let me watch you work out.
Moon
PS - Sister Tali's a hottie. She'd be perfect for you.
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Well, if you're looking for aerobic and anaerobic tips I don't see why letting you watch would result in any harm... But I'll be watching you.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior in Christ
But I'll be watching you.
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Thats...that's kinda creepy. What'll you be watching me do? Work out? Dance skyclad? Clean? WHAT?!
This is creepy in a kinky sort of way....
Moon
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 02:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Thats...that's kinda creepy. What'll you be watching me do? Work out? Dance skyclad? Clean? WHAT?!
This is creepy in a kinky sort of way....
Moon
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I do not have patience for this sort of thing. You're not going to convert me to you false, nympho-infested, satanic ways.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 02:45 AM
Oh God no. You'd make an awful Wiccan. Fine, I'll leave you be.
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Oh God no. You'd make an awful Wiccan. Fine, I'll leave you be.
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Good, I was getting sick of your harrassment. I want to save you, but that doesn't mean I'll put up with you toying with me.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 03:38 AM
Believe me soldier, I haven't even started to toy with you.
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Rebuked-Repented-Reborn
Forum Member
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior in Christ
That sounds like one great plan Brother. But in terms of pies, I've been pretty careful lately with where I place them. It seems as though the nigra population is growing in certain areas of Colorado and there has been a sharp increase in pie theft. A coincidence? I doubt it.
God Bless,
Warrior in Christ
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A great use for some of the good ol' landmines perhaps?
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-16-2007, 01:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by R-R-R
A great use for some of the good ol' landmines perhaps?
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If only it were legal, then maybe I wouldn't have to paint my house. I could just set up some landmines and place some pies. Red and black house in no time!
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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