The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: God's Favorite Country™
|
|
Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 04:24 AM
Hello, my username is Engles. I am a recently-converted Christian; my mind was long polluted by atheist filth, before I prayed to Christ to purge it from my mind. I have not yet entered Freehold but for now, I will learn from this godly forum.
My interests are:
1) Sleeping
2) Eating
3) Reading the KJV1611 Bible
4) Using cute Pokémon as avatars, but for no reason other than some are cute. Others are hideous as hell. No, I do not play those games, but I used to when I was a little kid.
5) Praying for the deaths of ungodly Satanists and Mooselimbs
6) Burning Harry Potter books
7) Reading this godly forum
8) Throwing bacon at mosque doors
9) Cheering for Donald Trump
My favorite verse: Leviticus 19:19. "Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
I hope to learn here and continue to grow in Christ.
Leviticus 19:19
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 04:41 AM
Dear Newcomer,
We also sincerely pray that you'll grow in Godliness and embrace your potential of becoming Saved! Nice verse and some quite healthy atttitudes you have over there. Obviously, niceties and cuteness are always irrelevant and sometimes deleterious when it comes to Salvation. There's a lesson for you. Faith matters. Saving souls matters. Cuteness and adventure romances distract. When the prophecies of Jesus are fulfilled very very soon, there'll be no more room for politeness!
Nahum 2:3
The shield of his mighty men is made red, the valiant men are in scarlet: the chariots shall be with flaming torches in the day of his preparation, and the fir trees shall be terribly shaken.
That said, you certainly have potential to eventually find the narrow way (Matthew 7:14) with proper humility and Fear of God!
If I may, I'd like to inquire why you chose an Anglo-Saxon masculine noun in the genitive singular form as your username instead of the nominative? I'm slightly worried because this eventually gave rise to the American possessive case (see also Matthew 8:33). Does the choice of a masculine singular noun refer to your gender? Does this mean that you've already begotten successfully?
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Unsaved trash cheese-eating surrender-monkey
|
|
Posts: 88
Join Date: Jan 2016
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 05:43 AM
Welcome to Gods favorite website! I sincerely hope you learn a lot, and enjoy it here.
Revelation 6:8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 05:49 AM
Brother Professor Elmer, Do you think that's what he meant by Engles? I am deeply concerned that he may be related to Friedrich Engels of Communist infamy:
Please, my dear man, assure me that you have no connection, either familial or philosophically with this scum.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: God's Favorite Country™
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 03:02 PM
Oh, no. I have nothing to do with Friedrich Engels. I despise godless communists.
My name is also spelled differently, so obviously I have no family connection.
Leviticus 19:19
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 03:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engles
9) Cheering for Donald Trump
|
Why aren't you supporting Ted Cruz, who actually has read the Bible, and really is an actual Christian?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 05:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Why aren't you supporting Ted Cruz, who actually has read the Bible, and really is an actual Christian?
|
My Most Beloved Brother in Christ:
Donald Trump ( ) is the Truest of the True Christians™, chosen by God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost Himself (Themselves) to lead God's favorite nation to be great again. And it will be under his guidance, including getting rid of all advisors ( because Trump has a very good brain and enjoys talking to himself) 500% spike in fruit and vegetable prices due to the elimination of all illegal aliens, being the laughing stock of every single nation on earth, and using the Internet as the solely source of news.
Need I also remind you that Trump does know the Bible very well?
Anyhow. Mr. Engels, I you to our Godly community with open arms. Any supporter of Donald Trump is a friend of mine, as being a supporter of Donald Trump certifies that you're an upstanding white man - probably a male version of this beautiful young lady.
|
|
Serving Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
My Most Beloved Brother in Christ:
Donald Trump ( ) is the Truest of the True Christians™...
|
Sister, I have to admit that I also have doubts about Mr. Donald Trump. I know that I have mentioned this before, but I have never really explained myself. There is a lot of confusing information, so let us review the known facts and we will see why I am concerned. Donald Trump is a very successful man; that is not in doubt. He says he is a Christian and I am glad to hear it. He professes to make good deals and the Lord knows we are due for one of those. He is a normal, loud mouthed Yankee and he talks like they all do- fast, loud, waving his arms around and as if there is no fact that is not resting on the tip of his tongue if it is needed. In my experience, if you trust fast talking Yankees, you always regret it. That is what I am worried about with Mr. Donald Trump.
Clearly, he has good qualities and a comely wife, but we must be wary of this Yankee. I know that my own personal experiences with these Yankees and the resulting simmering resentments could have prejudiced me, but are we not all the sum of our experiences? I am going to have to have a better understanding of what Mr. Trump has in mind before I throw my own support behind him.
And welcome to the forum, Mr. Engles. I hope you aren't another of those trolls we keep getting here. Are you truly saved?
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-19-2016, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
Sister, I have to admit that I also have doubts about Mr. Donald Trump. I know that I have mentioned this before, but I have never really explained myself. There is a lot of confusing information, so let us review the known facts and we will see why I am concerned. Donald Trump is a very successful man; that is not in doubt. He says he is a Christian and I am glad to hear it. He professes to make good deals and the Lord knows we are due for one of those. He is a normal, loud mouthed Yankee and he talks like they all do- fast, loud, waving his arms around and as if there is no fact that is not resting on the tip of his tongue if it is needed. In my experience, if you trust fast talking Yankees, you always regret it. That is what I am worried about with Mr. Donald Trump.
Clearly, he has good qualities and a comely wife, but we must be wary of this Yankee. I know that my own personal experiences with these Yankees and the resulting simmering resentments could have prejudiced me, but are we not all the sum of our experiences? I am going to have to have a better understanding of what Mr. Trump has in mind before I throw my own support behind him.
|
I understand your pain, Brother. However, since we only have three candidates left from the original 17+ crowded field, let's look at the options. It's either Trump ( ) or Cruz or Kasich. You know you want that wall built. Can you trust a a Canadian Mexican to build that wall? No you can't.
And Kasich, don't even get me started on Kasich. He's from Ohio, for God's sake. Nothing good can ever come from Ohio. Actually, when a student from Ohio is accepted at a university in Michigan, the IQ of both states goes down. In fact, I hope that President Trump ( ) also puts a wall around Ohio, to keep these people where they belong.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: God's Favorite Country™
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 01:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Does this mean that you've already begotten successfully?
|
Forgive my ignorance, Brother White, but what do you mean by "begotten successfully"?
Quote:
Any supporter of Donald Trump is a friend of mine, as being a supporter of Donald Trump certifies that you're an upstanding white man - probably a male version of this beautiful young lady.
|
Yes, I am a white male. In blood, I am an eighth of each; English, Scottish, Irish, Dutch, Norwegian, Swedish, German, and Austrian. That's almost as white as a man can get.
Anyways, thank you! I am proud to support Mr. Trump for President. I pray that will elect Mr. Trump to the Oval Office so he can kick out the communist Hamite occupying it, and give the boot to all the papist illegal immigrants and send them back to Messico. The mighty wall that Mr. Trump shall build on our border will be magnificent indeed! I cannot wait to see it!
Leviticus 19:19
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
|
|
Possibly retarded pothead
|
|
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 01:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engles
Hello, my username is Engles. I am a recently-converted Christian; my mind was long polluted by atheist filth, before I prayed to Christ to purge it from my mind. I have not yet entered Freehold but for now, I will learn from this godly forum.
My interests are:
1) Sleeping
2) Eating
3) Reading the KJV1611 Bible
4) Using cute Pokémon as avatars, but for no reason other than some are cute. Others are hideous as hell. No, I do not play those games, but I used to when I was a little kid.
5) Praying for the deaths of ungodly Satanists and Mooselimbs
6) Burning Harry Potter books
7) Reading this godly forum
8) Throwing bacon at mosque doors
9) Cheering for Donald Trump
My favorite verse: Leviticus 19:19. "Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
I hope to learn here and continue to grow in Christ.
|
Greetings Engles. We have much in common. I like to eat and sleep also. The other things- not so much. I am a student and I believe you are one too. I believe that I am older than you as you have not mentioned white girls in your list. And ganja. They are high on my own list as well. These people here are Baptists and they are very kind and tolerant. They are different from the Methodists who gave me my early education but they are just as white.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: God's Favorite Country™
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
Greetings Engles. We have much in common. I like to eat and sleep also. The other things- not so much. I am a student and I believe you are one too. I believe that I am older than you as you have not mentioned white girls in your list. And ganja. They are high on my own list as well. These people here are Baptists and they are very kind and tolerant. They are different from the Methodists who gave me my early education but they are just as white.
|
What in God's green earth are you talking about?
Leviticus 19:19
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 02:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engles
Forgive my ignorance, Brother White, but what do you mean by "begotten successfully"?
|
Try reading the Bible, dear. That should clear our out your ignorance.
You can start with Genesis, eg. Genesis 5:4.
Or did you read it already and just were not able to understand it?
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Engles
Forgive my ignorance, Brother White, but what do you mean by "begotten successfully"?
|
Of course I forgive you. I'll be praying that Jesus does, too, as that is the thing that actually matters. Obviously, begetting is the production of offspring through conjugal relations in matrimony, it is one of the things God expects from us, tiresome but necessary. For instance Adam was not too bright and he followed the unfortunate dietary example of the first woman (Genesis 3:6) but, oh boy, that man knew how to beget.
Genesis 5:4
And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
This will be crystal clear to you when you continue your Bible Studies. What about your username? We're all relieved it is not based on the commie philosopher but the issue with the Anglo-Saxon cases is still unresolved. Care to elaborate?
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
Edit: Let us thank also Sister Basilissa for her continued efforts to educate you. As you can see, the verse that uncovers the meaning of the verb in well-known to all True Christians™. Praise Jesus for this simultaneous transmission of answered prayers and compassion to you.
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 59
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Sitting in my bedroom on my computer listening to music
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 02:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
I understand your pain, Brother. However, since we only have three candidates left from the original 17+ crowded field, let's look at the options. It's either Trump ( ) or Cruz or Kasich. You know you want that wall built. Can you trust a a Canadian Mexican to build that wall? No you can't.
And Kasich, don't even get me started on Kasich. He's from Ohio, for God's sake. Nothing good can ever come from Ohio. Actually, when a student from Ohio is accepted at a university in Michigan, the IQ of both states goes down. In fact, I hope that President Trump ( ) also puts a wall around Ohio, to keep these people where they belong.
|
As I've learned in school, isn't that what they did with the Berlin wall, as they surrounded West Berlin.
Would that be Trump's plan for America? (I'm not too into political topics/debates so I am asking out of pure curiosity)
Romans 8:25 - But if we hope for that we see not, [then] do we with patience wait for [it].
Jeremiah 17:7 - Blessed [is] the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Psalms 71:14 - But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CultKitty98
As I've learned in school, isn't that what they did with the Berlin wall, as they surrounded West Berlin.
Would that be Trump's plan for America? (I'm not too into political topics/debates so I am asking out of pure curiosity)
|
More or less, but our wall will be much longer, higher, and with no tunnels beneath it to smuggle people in either direction.
God Bless Donald Trump!
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: God's Favorite Country™
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Of course I forgive you. I'll be praying that Jesus does, too, as that is the thing that actually matters. Obviously, begetting is the production of offspring through conjugal relations in matrimony, it is one of the things God expects from us, tiresome but necessary. For instance Adam was not too bright and he followed the unfortunate dietary example of the first woman (Genesis 3:6) but, oh boy, that man knew how to beget.
Genesis 5:4
And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
This will be crystal clear to you when you continue your Bible Studies. What about your username? We're all relieved it is not based on the commie philosopher but the issue with the Anglo-Saxon cases is still unresolved. Care to elaborate?
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
Edit: Let us thank also Sister Basilissa for her continued efforts to educate you. As you can see, the verse that uncovers the meaning of the verb in well-known to all True Christians™. Praise Jesus for this simultaneous transmission of answered prayers and compassion to you.
|
I don't even understand why these Anglo-Saxo grammar rules are a big deal? I don't know any grammar from Old English or any other old Anglo-Saxon Germanic languages.
It's not like I can change my username. Anyway, my username is not possessive, so why is it a concern? If it were possessive it would be Engle's. I picked Engles because it sounds similar to "Angels", and I figured that the username Angels would already have been used.
Leviticus 19:19
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee."
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 03:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CultKitty98
As I've learned in school, isn't that what they did with the Berlin wall, as they surrounded West Berlin.
Would that be Trump's plan for America? (I'm not too into political topics/debates so I am asking out of pure curiosity)
|
The wall functioned to keep the Godless, Communist riffraff out of West Berlin, the free half of the city, yes. As we know, without President Trump, communism will form. The only thing saving us is a giant wall, no less than 1,954 miles (3,145 km). Mr. Trump hasn't shared any plans with regard to tunnels yet, which suggests to me the wall will be at least six stories above and underground. Mexicans are simply too lazy to dig that long.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 59
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Sitting in my bedroom on my computer listening to music
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 03:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
The wall functioned to keep the Godless, Communist riffraff out of West Berlin, the free half of the city, yes. As we know, without President Trump, communism will form. The only thing saving us is a giant wall, no less than 1,954 miles (3,145 km). Mr. Trump hasn't shared any plans with regard to tunnels yet, which suggests to me the wall will be at least six stories above and underground. Mexicans are simply too lazy to dig that long.
|
Hopefully... and thank you for answering. I am grateful.
Romans 8:25 - But if we hope for that we see not, [then] do we with patience wait for [it].
Jeremiah 17:7 - Blessed [is] the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Psalms 71:14 - But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 59
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Sitting in my bedroom on my computer listening to music
|
|
Re: Hello, I am new. -
03-20-2016, 03:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
More or less, but our wall will be much longer, higher, and with no tunnels beneath it to smuggle people in either direction.
God Bless Donald Trump!
|
Let us hope. Thank you for replying.
Romans 8:25 - But if we hope for that we see not, [then] do we with patience wait for [it].
Jeremiah 17:7 - Blessed [is] the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
Psalms 71:14 - But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|