[Wash O'Hanley]

Folks, what I am about to describe to you may seem shocking and horrific and as such I suggest that all women and children close their browsers immediately and pray for our salvation. In my thirty plus years of broadcasting I have never witnessed such an insidious threat to America as Hannah Montana (who, I found out after several days of researching, isn't even from Montana). There is no doubt in my mind after seeing and hearing what I have this week that this Hannah Montana is the manifestation of Lucifer himself, using upbeat pop music to recruit 13 year old girls into a lifestyle of sin and evil. It was the perfect plan, too... until I foiled it.



My story starts early last week when an anonymous listener/hero going by the name "Tom" called my show to tip me off that when you play the song "Pumpin' up the Party" by Hannah Montana backwards you unlock satanic messages that encourage children to worship Satan. Reluctant at first I did as the listener asked and played the song in reverse-- what happened next was both shocking and terrifying. When the lines "Together we can make it flow/Thats what we'll do" are played backwards a demonic and menacing voice can clearly and distinctly be heard saying "Throw your God away/ and follow me/ the beast is your only savior/ six six six six six six six six six six six six six".

Upon hearing this horrific ballad I retreated to my private bathroom and hid in the handicapped stall for several hours until an intern was sent in to fetch me. After incapacitating him with a toilet plunger my producer and three security guards were called in and brought me back to my senses with elephant tranquilizers. With CD in hand I visited researchers of the demonic at Landover University. They were more than happy to take a look at the evidence I had brought in as their project of finding demons living within the celluloid rolls of Bambi cassette tapes had thus far proven futile in the 15 years that they had been undergoing their investigation.

"What we have here is a classic case of Satanic possession over a piece of popular music" said researcher Herald Timmons of Landover University. "Often times Satan will mask his teachings into popular music in reverse phonetics so the listener cannot pick up the message immediately, but once you have heard it, the message seeps into your subconscious."

Dr. Timmons also speculates that this discovery could shed new light on the growing witchcraft fad in America.

"This, teamed with Harry Potter and other Satanic media, could very well explain why so many children hate Jesus now-a-days. Satan loves to hide in music where parents have a difficult time protecting their children."



After spending some 48 consecutive hours studying the Hannah Montana CD researchers discovered another startling revelation: Hannah Montana's self-titled first album syncs perfectly with the 1976 documentary film "The Exorcist".

"When the CD is started at the same time as the film there is no debate that the two sync together perfectly, scene for scene. As someone that has studied demons and Satan for over 20 years now there is no doubt in my mind that Hannah Montana is being used as a vessel for Satan to bring anti-Christian messages to impressionable and stupid young girls. Like Reagan in The Exorcist, Hannah Montana is no longer in control of her actions and is a mouth piece for the dark lord himself. If these girls follow the messages that she is endorsing we could see a sharp increase in teen debauchery, such as teenage girls intentionally getting pregnant so they can abort the fetus and use in various satanic sexual acts."



In response to this breaking story Freehold, Iowa has ordered that all copies of Hannah Montana albums be burned in front of Landover Baptist Church on Sunday the 10th at 2:00pm. Additionally, a warrant has been put out within the town for Hannah Montana's arrest. While her capture alive will garner a hefty cash reward, townspeople are not discouraged from killing her if necessary.

UPDATE: this picture makes her agenda clear:

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I always suspected those eyebrows were Drawn ON!!!

Who knew the depravity that would be uncovered until YOU came along.

Thank you Brother Wash, yet again, for all your hard work and effort to uncover the depravity in which we live!

Sister Thumper

[Pastor Ezekiel]

That photograph of her and her fat nigra husband just turned my stomach.

You can add race traitor to her list of sin and debauchery too.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

That photograph of her and her fat nigra husband just turned my stomach.

You can add race traitor to her list of sin and debauchery too.

He's the fourth Jonas Brother... the one they keep locked in the basement.

[Seeker]

It is obvious a generation curse. I mean still to this day I can't forget the Acky Breaky dance from my sinful days. Billy has some bad sperm.

[Receiver]

Do you have anything better to do than bash a young girl? Get our more will ya?

[Wash O'Hanley]

Satan takes many forms, "young women" is apparently one of them.

[Receiver]

Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley

Satan takes many forms, "young women" is apparently one of them.

You are truly lost, Satan appearantly takes in form of old men such as yourself.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by Receiver

Do you have anything better to do than bash a young girl? Get our more will ya?

You must have something better to do since you made this your first post.

[Receiver]

Oh and thanks for changing my username and removing my avatar..

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by Receiver

You are truly lost, Satan appearantly takes in form of old men such as yourself.

That is a mighty big thing to say considering your name is Receiver.

[Receiver]

Originally Posted by Seeker

You must have something better to do since you made this your first post.

Actually I do, its called a life. Try getting one.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Receiver

Oh and thanks for changing my username and removing my avatar.. Abusing your power much? Is this some type of troll christian forums or what?

I don't know about you being Christian, but you certainly behave like a troll.

You come into our Godly forum with satanic imagery, then expect us to what? welcome you? be shocked? Sorry, it's all been done.

We are here to celebrate God's gift (his dead son). If you are sincere, then make an introcutory thread in the section bearing that name. If you are here to mock Christ, then expect to be banned.

[Receiver]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I don't know about you being Christian, but you certainly behave like a troll.

You come into our Godly forum with satanic imagery, then expect us to what? welcome you? be shocked? Sorry, it's all been done.

We are here to celebrate God's gift (his dead son). If you are sincere, then make an introcutory thread in the section bearing that name. If you are here to mock Christ, then expect to be banned.

I am not here to mock christ, you guys have nothing good to say about "god" but instead bash a young girl. I know its a joke but its pretty sad. I have scanned these entire forums and nothing seems to be serious or is ontopic about christianity.

[Wash O'Hanley]

It's obvious that you're one of her legions of fans that have been tricked into joining Satan's army.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Receiver

I am not here to mock christ, you guys have nothing good to say about "god" but instead bash a young girl. I know its a joke but its pretty sad. I have scanned these entire forums and nothing seems to be serious or is ontopic about christianity.

How old are you pal? Are you a big fan of hers?

[Receiver]

Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley

It's obvious that you're one of her legions of fans that have been tricked into joining Satan's army.

I am not a follower unlike you brainwashed creatures. Follow your leader that will lead you into the pits of my underground darkness. And no I'm not a fan.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Receiver

I am not a follower unlike you brainwashed creatures. Follow your leader that will lead you into the pits of my underground darkness. And no I'm not a fan.

Your pits of what?

Are you here posing as satan now?

[Receiver]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Your pits of what?

Are you here posing as satan now?

Posing? You sure are a funny little fella. Go worship your "God" and be deceived like the rest of you worthless losers. You are the "troll".

[Wash O'Hanley]

Someone has been listening to "Pumpin' up the Party" in reverse too many times...