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Lightbulb HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:10 PM

Does anyone have a copy of this book? I think it was removed from the shelves when the library was "rehabbed" and moved over to the church.
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HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD
As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head. He's been wandering around the street muttering, and has been rendered by the doctors retarded.

I'm worried that Jesus was kicked out of his head, too. How do we help the retarded person to know God™....and does God™ even want to know him?
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:18 PM

Anyone who is predestinated to receive the Good News of God's saving grace will be able to receive it:

Romans 8:28-30: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Therefore, as for those who cannot receive it, the less said, the better.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:21 PM

Seems as it Jesus decided this fella needed a kick in the head.

Is he a better person now he drools in his soup?

Jesus fills me with His love!
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:21 PM

Quote:
Leviticus 21:16-23

King James Version (KJV)

16And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
17Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
18For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
19Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
20Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
22He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy.
23Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them.
It is clear from the above scripture that God is not a big fan of the handicapped. This stands to reason, as He is responsible for our health in the first place, and so must have stricken the handicapped with their respective disabilities.

It is apparent from the following verse in Exodus that the Lord would heal the retarded, if only they would follow His commandments.

Quote:
Exodus 15:26

King James Version (KJV)

26And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.
Since God has never healed a retarded person before, it is probably because they are incapable of comprehending the infinite value of Jesus' temporary sacrifice. This stands to reason as well, as they are not allowed in church.

So, it seems to me that if you are able to save the retard's soul without letting him, or it, profane the sanctuary of our Godly church, this would not violate any of God's commandments. However, it is most definitely a waste of time. When God makes someone a retard, it is for eternity.


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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
So, it seems to me that if you are able to save the retard's soul without letting him, or it, profane the sanctuary of our Godly church, this would not violate any of God's commandments. However, it is most definitely a waste of time. When God makes someone a retard, it is for eternity.
He was a very nice boy at one time. He'd always drag everyone's trash cans out to the street on Wednesday mornings before he went to school, to save everyone the trouble.

Maybe I'm being "too emotional" about it, but it would be nice if someone could help him accept Jesus again, so he can go to Heaven™. And it would comfort his family to know they haven't completely lost him forever.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
He was a very nice boy at one time. He'd always drag everyone's trash cans out to the street on Wednesday mornings before he went to school, to save everyone the trouble.
I'm sure Jeffrey Dahmer was a nice boy in his youth, too. God is sovereign. He knows what this boy would have grown up to do. I'm just thinking out loud, but perhaps God knew that this boy would have grown up to choose the homosexual lifestyle and prey on other boys, thus distracting them from the true gospel message and their hope for salvation.

You're heart is so big, Mistress, but God is bigger. I wouldn't worry another minute about this.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Maybe I'm being "too emotional" about it, but it would be nice if someone could help him accept Jesus again, so he can go to Heaven™. And it would comfort his family to know they haven't completely lost him forever.
I feel your pain Sister, it's all rather tragical, but, let's face it, the kid is never going to make it. I think the most decent thing to do - as our compassion has no bounds - is to stone it to death.

I have it from good sources that it makes rather funny noises, grunts, sudden uncontrolled movements, and all this reeks of sorcery. As God commands us, surely it should be put to death.

I know we have to obey secular law, but then again, Freehold is Freehold.

Maybe the Mayor should have a final word about this, but killing the spastic may comfort his family even more, as they would no longer have to wonder "Will it? Will it?"


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 07:58 PM

I wouldn't let that freak anywhere NEAR my church. I see enough retardeds at the WalMart.

No thanks.



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Z. Smyth


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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:11 PM

Have you spoken to Pastor Ezekiel about him? I know he often takes a special interest in young boys and exposing Gods Love to them. I know mentioning money is crass but a child has a lot of needs during these sometimes month long laying of hands. Could you please check the child's parents tithing status?
If it turns out the parents are unwilling to accommodate the child's special needs, I am willing to open my heart and have the child come to the plantation for the season. Perhaps a few months under Gods bright Sun hoeing ditches and sorting rocks may show the boy the Power of Jesus.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD
As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head.
Yes, I have heard this tale. But God does not smite people with retardation for riding horses with their pants on. He does, however, hate anal sex and bestiality. I think I know what happened.

That retard was never a TRUE Christian™!


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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
I'm sure Jeffrey Dahmer was a nice boy in his youth, too. God is sovereign. He knows what this boy would have grown up to do. I'm just thinking out loud, but perhaps God knew that this boy would have grown up to choose the homosexual lifestyle and prey on other boys, thus distracting them from the true gospel message and their hope for salvation.
That makes sense. Maybe I can pay a call on the boy's mother and explain this "up side" of it all.

She's taken to her bed over this, I hear, and would surely appreciate the company.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:22 PM

Good Lord, find that horse and shoot it immediately!!

I had no idea animals could spread the Down Sindrome virus!! I only thought you could get the retard from other retardeds
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:26 PM

Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?

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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?.
That is a good point. Even if he does not make full recovery, I think you are doing important work here. We have to remember that as Christian we should show some compassion towards these gimps. If he stays as he is, it is kind that he and any other retard fully understands that they are going to hell for all eternity because of the sins of their own or sins of their parents.

Books like HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD sure are good tools to make these gimps understand that they are damned.
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 08:59 PM

Sister Cookie, I am already working with the youngster in my private study on Saturday afternoons. We are focusing on oral and facial muscle exercises to improve his speech, and repetitive motion calisthenics for motor skill and coordination rehabilitation.

Sadly, there has been no improvement as of yet, but I still have hope through the power of Jesus Christ in prayer, and we will continue our sessions for the time being. May he one day again praise our Lord at the top of his young voice.

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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 09:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
Sister Cookie, I am already working with the youngster in my private study on Saturday afternoons. We are focusing on oral and facial muscle exercises to improve his speech, and repetitive motion calisthenics for motor skill and coordination rehabilitation.

Sadly, there has been no improvement as of yet, but I still have hope through the power of Jesus Christ in prayer, and we will continue our sessions for the time being. May he one day again praise our Lord at the top of his young voice.
Oh this is so good of you, Brother Porter!! Jesus™ will surely bless you for your trouble!

I am so relieved that he is in good True Christian™ hands!! He was wandering the streets looking unkempt due to (I guess) his mother's depression. I hope he's received a good bath? I saw his father turn the hose on him two weeks ago out in the yard....but that might have been it?
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-10-2012, 10:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head. He's been wandering around the street muttering, and has been rendered by the doctors retarded.
That's awful. Do we know why it happened? Was God punishing the boy for some sin, or maybe punishing the boy's parents? Given that they're True Christians™, that seems pretty unlikely, but original sin comes back to kick all of us in the butt at one time or another. Or maybe God is trying to test the parents' faith--that happens all the time. Or God had to do it to fulfil His divine plan. And we can never rule the Devil out in cases like this.

I'll ask Jesus and let you know what He says.


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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-11-2012, 12:21 AM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?

Jesus would never let a horse kick a TRULY SAVED person in the head so hard that it made him into a retarded. The way I see it, since the Lord smited him, He thought he deserved it for some reason.

Figuring on his age and all, I wouldn't be at all surprised if wasn't abusing himself 24/7. Lots of your unsaved teens are big on the masturbation. I'm sure he deserved having his brains bashed in. God never does ANYTHING unless He's got danged good reason.




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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-11-2012, 12:36 AM

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Jesus would never let a horse kick a TRULY SAVED person in the head so hard that it made him into a retarded. The way I see it, since the Lord smited him, He thought he deserved it for some reason.
Yes...I do see what you men mean. God™s ways are indeed mysterious!

It's so pitiful seeing him wandering around the streets and our backyards, though. I get the feeling Daddy Colby blames him for the mother becoming depressed, and locks him outside during the day. Of course he can't attend school now, with the other children.

I'm going to leave a bowl of cooked hamburger and vegetables outside my back door, but I certainly won't let him in. (No silverware with it, though...he might take it.)
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Default Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD - 02-11-2012, 02:10 AM

I don't want to seem heartless here, but I'm considered somewhat of an expert on retards, and I can assure you, you can't teach these dumb slobbering stammering staggering spastics a thing. You hear the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Well, you cant teach a retard ANY tricks. They are as dumb as a box of frogs, and will never have the mental capacity to understand or accept Jesus as their Lord and personal Savior.

Can you imagine having the Pastor round for tea or whatever, and you have one of these spackers sitting in a puddle of it's own drool, stinking the place up with adult diapers on? Then the Pastor tries to teach it to say the name of Jesus, but it keeps saying "uuuuhhh....Juuubbbusss". How embarrassing!

Remember what the Bible says about how we should treat kids who bring shame to their parents -

Proverbs 23:23-26
Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. He that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father

The Bible can't be clearer on this - a foolish son is the calamity of his father, and gives his parents no joy! Therefore he MUST be punished!

Proverbs 19:26,29
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach. Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:9,13-14
Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from Hell.


Yes, the first course of action is beatings - but no amount of beatings can make a retard child into a 'normal' child. Yes, a retard child will always be a retard! Therefore, there is only one course of action to be taken -

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.


Unfortunately our Secular Laws prevent us from carrying out God's clear instructions on retarded children, so I recon the best thing to do would be to just lock it in the cellar, and give it a loaded gun to play with. It's for the best, believe me.

And please try to remember, retards aren't even human, so it's not like they really matter anyways.

Amen!
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