Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper
Reload this Page Negro boy removed from Sunday School
The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Youth Pastor Marty's Avatar
Youth Pastor Marty Youth Pastor Marty is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Saved 10 Years Long service medal, 1st class The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Pastor of GOD Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY!

 
Posts: 386
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Youth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureYouth Pastor Marty has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Negro boy removed from Sunday School - 04-22-2010, 08:08 PM

The recent integration of Landover Baptist Church, allowing certain Platinum tithing Negro families to sit outside of the one way mirror balcony in the Main Sanctuary, has caused a bit of a stir among the congregation. Times are changing though, and believe it or not, the Negroid race in America has produced a few successful people that actually believe in God over the demonic blasphemy of Kwanzaa Voodoo. Regardless of this fact, they still often hold true to their primal instincts, and forget how to act like proper Christian white folk do.

Twelve year old Malcolm Brown, son of Jim and Eliza Brown, was removed from Sunday School this weekend under suspicion of illegal drug use. This came as no surprise to Church Leaders, who had been keeping a close eye on the Brown family since they were admitted into Church three months ago.

"It seems that no matter how much they appear like Chistians," reported Reverand Bill Porter, "They always seem to be just on the verge of sticking a bone through their noses and dancing stark naked around a bonfire."

Malcolm was spotted sitting down in the back row, after a brief shuffle of fellow Sunday Schoolers moving to different seats. Upon calling him to the front row, Sunday School teacher Sister Martha Mullins screamed and nearly fainted.

"I couldn't believe what I saw, but that little black boy had nothing other than one of those hippie peace symbols from the 1980s on his Church suit lapel," she said.

Church Deacons immediately responded to the commotion, one relying on his Godly instinct to detect sin by grabbing Malcolm by the arm before even asking what the problem was. It was clear that he had to go, and an investigation was soon to follow.

"The hippie peace symbol symbolizes three things: fornication, drugs, and Satan. We know that most buck Negroes start early in all three, but Dr. Jonathan Edwards has concluded that Malcolm was neither involved in sex or demon worship," claimed Porter. "That only leaves drugs."

As a result, the Brown family will be forced to pay fines of no less than $2000, and/or will be put on roadside cleanup in the Leviticus Landing housing developments under the supervision of Landover's prominent tithing Church members. After fines are paid and Community service is complete, they will be allowed to attend services from behind the one way mirror balcony in the Main Sanctuary, as long as their tithe does not change. Malcolm will not be allowed to return to Sunday School.

"Our Church does not tolerate even having the appearance of evil, not to mention a symbol that might just be aimed at our Godly President Bush," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "If our Negro friends can demonstrate a proper love for the Lord once this is all over, then they are welcome to stay in our Church. But if I so much as even hear one whispered word of that NAACP or ACLU nonsense, they'll be out of here faster than a colored boy carrying a stolen television set."

Landover Baptist Church Ex-Negro Ministry



Matthew 13:41-43 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Purge the Unfaithful's Avatar
Purge the Unfaithful Purge the Unfaithful is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 175
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Unwelcome at Landover
Purge the Unfaithful is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Negro boy removed from Sunday School - 04-23-2010, 12:19 AM

That's why I have been having to go to Westboro Baptist (though Fred Phelps is WAY to liberal for my taste!) these past few months. I knew it would never work out. Those darkies just can't handle being with us white folks.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Negro boy removed from Sunday School - 05-02-2010, 03:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Pastor Marty View Post
"I couldn't believe what I saw, but that little black boy had nothing other than one of those hippie peace symbols from the 1980s on his Church suit lapel," she said.
The broken cross? Nero's Cross? The Rune of Death? The chicken's paw?

The symbol-mongers are coming for YOUR children!

The Peace Sign and Satanism
ChildCare Action Project: evil symbols!
Harry Potter and symbols of EVIL!


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
aclu, freehold iowa, naacp, negrofascism, raped women are whores

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved